Breaking Point
by Pisces Miles
Summary: They met during the first war and everything changed after the second. For once, everything is in peace and she has reached her limits, so she leaves, to heal, leaving him behind, searching, till the point of almost giving up. AxC
1. Painful Decisions

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

_They met in the midst of the first war  
And everything changed when the second war ended.  
They hurt each other because of war's circumstances  
And though they seemed to have resolved naturally  
Because peace has been achieved  
The scars were still there, still lingering. _

_In war, you have to conceal your emotions  
When war ends, emotions will want to burst out  
But one's sense prevents it from doing so. _

_When it's just too much to bear, you know it  
And now, it is Cagalli's turn to leave,  
To find place where she can properly heal her wounds  
But will the wounds from Athrun and the war be healed?  
Will Cagalli's departure allow Athrun to heal himself in return? _

_Or maybe it's just time and new environment  
That will bury their lingering history  
And start a fresh new one for them…  
_

**Chapter 1: Painful Decisions**

_**She needed time. Everyone needed time. It wasn't something a bandage could fix, some wounds just need time to heal.**_

'Athrun-san!' Meyrin Hawke grabbed his arm before he made a move to ring the bell. 'Are you sure?'

Athrun Zala stared at her in confusion. 'What's the problem?'

Meyrin looked down. 'Nothing, it's just…'

'God Meyrin, you've been with Athrun for four months already and you know the real Lacus-sama, what are you afraid of?' Another voice rang from behind.

Turning around, Meyrin's face flamed up. 'Onee-chan!'

Shaking her head, Lunamaria Hawke sighed. 'If anyone should be unsure, it should be us.'

Beside her. Shinn Asuka stared up at the huge seaside mansion. 'This house is really big, it's like a hotel.'

'It belongs to the royal family.' Athrun said, smiling. 'Cagalli arranged for the orphans to stay here after the wreckage caused by Junis Seven.'

Lunamaria raised her eyebrows. 'Cagalli? Is it Attha?'

Athrun nodded. 'Yes.'

'Have you seen her since we came to Orb?' Shinn asked quietly.

Athrun shook his head. 'No, I haven't.'

Lunamaria was about to open her mouth again when the huge double doors suddenly opened.

'I thought I heard someone out here!' Lacus Clyne smiled brightly.

'Lacus-sama!' Meyrin greeted, a big smile on her face.

Lunamaria bowed her head at Lacus awkwardly while Shinn just stared at her. They have, after all, only met once at the memorial three days ago.

'Come in!' Lacus held the door wide open. 'Devon is dying to start his birthday party, he really wants cake.'

'That sweet tooth.' Athrun muttered as he stepped into the foyer. Meyrin and Lunamaria gasped while Shinn had his eyes wide open when a bunch of kids dashed out of the kitchen and rushed towards Athrun.

'Athrun! Athrun!' Devon, a brown haired boy tugged at Athrun's sleeve. 'Do I have a present?'

Athrun smiled down at him. 'Happy birthday Devon.'

'Who are they?' Alexis, a girl with blonde hair peeked from behind Athrun.

'They're our new friends.' Kira replied, walking out of the kitchen.

'Kira –san.' Shinn stammered, looking down.

Kira waved his hand. 'Kira will do.'

'What's your name?' Ari asked, pulling at Meyrin and Lunamaria's skirt.

Meyrin knelt down and ruffled his black hair. 'My name is Meyrin and this is my sister Luna.'

'Who's that scary looking boy?' Lois cocked her head at Shinn, her lips pouted.

Shinn pointed at himself. 'Me? Scary looking? A _boy?'_

'You are a boy Shinn.' Meyrin smirked while Lunamaria tried to refrain from giggling.

'I am not a boy!' Shinn protested.

'His eyes are red!' Lois cried, pointing one chubby finger up in the air.

Shinn could only stared at her with his mouth hanging open.

'Now, now children.' Lacus clapped her hands together. 'We can't be rude to our guests!'

'Athrun! Where's Cagalli?' Devon yanked at Athrun's hand.

Athrun stared down at him for a few moments before kneeling down. 'She's very busy.'

Devon bit his lip. 'But she promised to come to my birthday, she promised!'

'I'm sure she has tried her best Devon,' Lacus knelt down as well, 'but you know Cagalli has a lot of things to do and – '

Devon was on the verge of tears. 'I want Cagalli! She promised!'

'Yeah!' Alexis and Lois nodded. 'You two promised to play Mom and Dad with us!'

At that, Athrun was speechless as he turned to Kira for help.

'Mom and Dad?' Lunamaria raised her eyebrows while Meyrin stood up, staring at Athrun.

'Them?' Shinn snorted. 'I cannot imagine that woman being a Mom.'

'Shut up Shinn!' Lunamaria hissed. 'People can hear – '

'I got it Mana I got it!' Another voice cried from the other side of the door.

Standing up quickly, Lacus dashed to the door and opened it, just in time to see Mana pulling at Cagalli's skirt.

'Is that a limo?' Shinn asked, cocking his head.

'Cagalli-sama, remember!' Mana said sternly. 'I do not want to see another stain on that dress and please try not to break your heel while playing with the kids.'

'That's why I have a duffle bag with human clothes!' Cagalli Yula Attha yanked her dress away from Mana. 'I'll get it back to you in one peace okay?'

'Promise?' Mana looked at her skeptically. 'Promise?'

'I promise!' Cagalli cried. 'Now go!'

'Cagalli! It's Cagalli!' Devon yelled, dashing down the stairs.

Not knowing that the door was wide open with an audience, Cagalli turned and stared at the door in embarrassment, a red duffle bag in one gloved hand.

'Cagalli looks beautiful!' Alexis cried, her hands in the air. 'Cagalli looks like a bride!'

'Brides wear white, not green you idiot!' Devon argued.

Lois rolled her eyes. 'Whatever, we can play wedding now!'

'Uh – ' Cagalli tried to open her mouth. 'I – '

'But this time, the groom cannot be that bastard Yuna!' Ari declared while pulling Cagalli into the house.

'Ari!' Mrs. Yamato said sternly. 'Where did you learn that word?'

Ari stuck his tongue out and pointed at Cagalli. 'Her.'

Cagalli was on the verge of fainting. 'Guys…'

'This time, the groom is going to be Athrun!' Alexis announced as the kids pushed Cagalli towards Athrun.

'Hey!' Cagalli turned before Athrun had a chance to grab her arm. 'I just came in here dressed like a fool and – '

'But you look pretty, you don't look like a fool!' Alexis turned to Athrun. 'She doesn't look like a fool, she looks like a bride!'

'Okay okay!' Cagalli raised her hand up in the air, slinging the duffle bag over her shoulder before Athrun could open his mouth.

'You made it Cagalli.' Lacus smiled. 'The kids were worried that you wouldn't come, they were complaining the whole day.'

'Yeah, you always come with Athrun!' Devon said.

'Where have you been Cagalli?' Athrun asked quickly before she opened her mouth.

Cagalli sighed and shot him a glance. 'I had to go to one of those stupid cocktail parties.'

'In that?' Shinn muttered.

Cagalli turned and looked at him with narrowed eyes. 'Excuse me?'

'I presume you know them!' Kira said quickly. 'They're – '

'The crew from Minerva, I know' Cagalli said softly, clutching onto her bag. 'If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be standing here. I owe them a lot.' She smiled at the three and set her eyes on Meyrin. 'Especially Miss Hawke.'

Meyrin shook her head violently. 'No, I – '

'Are we going to play bride and groom?' Alexis cried, pulling at Cagalli's dress.

Devon rolled his eyes. 'That's such a girly game. Do you have a present for me Cagalli?' he asked when Alexis stuck her tongue out at him.

'Right here in my bag.' Cagalli reassured. 'And no I will not play bride and groom or whatever you call it.'

'No?' Alexis pouted her lps.

'No.' Cagalli said firmly. 'I really need to take off these heels and this ridiculous dress, I need to turn back into the Cagalli you guys know, I mean, can you picture me running around the house in this?'

'That's true.' Devon and Alexis giggled. 'Cagalli hardly ever looks like a girl.'

'Why you two – ' Cagalli made a move to kick them as they all went squealing and dashed back into the kitchen.

'Careful!' Lacus called.

'No wonder they know the word "bastard".' Kira smirked, crossing his arms.

Cagalli put her hands on her hips. 'I'm not Cagalli Yula Attha for nothing, I'm the Cagalli Yula who fought in a guerilla before you came along with Strike.'

'Strike?' Shinn's ears perked up. 'The Strike?'

'Let's all gather in the kitchen shall we?' Lacus said quickly. 'Lunamaria, Meyrin, would you like to help me set up the table?'

'Of course Lacus-sama!' Meyrin said quickly, pulling her sister along. 'Come on Shinn.'

'Me?' Shinn pointed at himself. 'Why me?'

'Because you're going to eat too!' Lunamaria countered.

'I'm going to change.' Cagalli called after Lacus. 'I'll help later okay?'

'Are you staying for the night?' Kira asked when the crowd left the foyer, leaving only Cagalli, Athrun and him.

Cagalli shook her head. 'Can't do, I have a very important meeting announcement tomorrow.'

'What announcement?' Athrun asked in an alarmed voice.

Cagalli just gave him a smile. 'It's a secret. Political secret. You'll see.' With that, she dashed up the stairs and disappeared.

'Give her some time.' Kira said, giving Athrun a pat on the shoulder. 'She's been… busy.'

Athrun frowned and turned to Kira. 'That doesn't explain why she doesn't want to see me Kira, believe me.'

Kira cocked his head. 'Then what?'

Athrun sighed and looked away. 'I don't know, and that is what bothers me. I, I just…'

'You two have been through a lot.' Kira said quietly. 'You're enlistment, the wedding… there are holes that need serious mending in this relationship of yours.'

'The problem is if there still a relationship to mend.' Athrun murmured.

Kira's eyebrows furrowed. 'Don't say that, you know you mean the world to Cagalli.'

Athrun looked at Kira in the eye. 'You really think so?'

Kira nodded deeply. 'I really do. Now get in there and help set the table or Lacus will have a hard time.'

Athrun stared at Kira. 'You two really do know each other inside out.'

Kira shrugged. 'I take that as a compliment.'

* * *

Pausing at the corner of the hallway, Lunamaria cocked her head at her sister who was nervously pacing the door in front of her, twirling a strand of hair from her pigtails. Sighing, she walked up to her soundlessly.

'What are you doing here?' Lunamaria asked.

Gasping at the voice, Meyrin jumped and glared at her sister. 'A little heads up would have been nice! You scared the bejsus out of me!'

Lunamaria rolled her eyes. 'Yeah, like me coming up from behind is so much more scarier than following Athrun into a mobile suits and escaping with him, not to mention getting beat up in the process, and then deciding to betray ZAFT and following Archangel, risking a death penalty from PLANT.'

'It's not like that onee-chan!' Meyrin protested weakly. 'Everything happened so fast then! I, I didn't have time to think and when I realized what I did, it was already too late and I was too scared! I didn't want to be left alone at Orb!'

'Right, the fact that you really like Athrun Zala has nothing to do with all the stunts you've pulled.' Lunamaria said nonchalantly.

'Onee-chan…' Meyrin's voice trailed as she lowered her head.

Laughing, Lunamaria gave her sister an encouraging pat on the shoulder. 'Go for it, you've gone this far.'

Meyrin shot a glance at her. 'But…'

'I'm over him.' Lunamaria declared. 'Trust me.'

Meyrin bit her lip. 'But still…'

Lunamria sighed. 'What can possibly be in your way now? Mia Campbell's dead.'

'Cagalli-san.' Meyrin said in a low voice.

'Right.' Lunamaria crossed her arms. 'Are you sure they're together? I mean, she was supposed to marry Yuna Roma if it weren't for Freedom and frankly, I don't see a chemistry between them at all, _that _kind of chemistry, you know?'

'Well, they haven't actually seen each other until now after we returned to Orb.' Meyrin said in a small voice.

'There you go!' Lunamria exclaimed. 'You still have a chance so grab it and use it before someone else swoops in, like Cagalli Yula Attha!'

'Onee-chan!' Meyrin hissed. 'Don't be so loud, she might hear you somewhere!'

'Right.' Lunamaria sneered. 'The bottom line is, even if they were somewhat a couple, they have their issues now and they're back to square one, no one says that a guy has to be with the same girl for the rest of his life, he's just eighteen, he has choices and has a very nice choice here.'

'What choice?' Shinn walked up to them with a soda in hand. 'What are you guys talking about?'

'How Meyrin should tell Athrun how she feels.' Lunamaria said.

'Oh.' Shinn took a gulp from his soda. 'So you're really into him, good choice, you guys can make fairly decent match, better than him and Attha.'

'Exactly!' Lunamaria exclaimed.

'Don't be mean!' Meyrin cried.

'Hey, you've met her.' Shinn sneered. 'Come on, she's the princess, the representative of Orb? I mean, come on, like she's done a good job at all. Besides, Athrun's better off without her, she's too much of an idealist, they'll never make it.'

'The question is, if they are still it.' Lunamaria muttered.

'I say go for it.' Shinn said curtly. 'You've risked your life for him, he's a good guy, he'll figure out who's best for him and that will be you Meyrin.'

Meyrin blushed. 'You think?'

Shinn was about to open his mouth again when a loud ring echoed from the other side of the door. 'Are you waiting for the bathroom?'

'Uh, yeah.' Meyrin said absently. 'And wondering whether not to tell Athrun that I…'

'Do it.' Shinn scowled. 'Seriously, I would really puke if Athrun was really with Attha.'

'Okay, we get it.' Lunamaria raised her hand up in the air. 'We get that you hate her and think that she's a waste with Athrun, no need do any serious character bashing.'

'I was just – '

'Shh!' Lunamaria hissed, glaring at Shinn. At the sudden silence between the three, they realized that someone was talking in the bathroom. When it clicked open, Cagalli came out, with her cell phone to her ear.

'Everything's ready? Good, I'll be looking forward to the morning news tomorrow.' Cagalli said, giving them a smile while holding the door open for Meyrin, who stared at her. 'Yes, I know it's huge, I'm sure, the parliament already passed the act and the resignation, I'm sure.'

'Shit.' Lunamaria muttered, watching as Cagalli walked down the hallway with Devon running up to her. 'You think she heard?'

Meyrin sighed heavily while Shinn just shrugged. 'I don't care, I hate her and I'm not going around with it being a secret anyway, she knows I hate her.'

'Right.' Lunamaria nudged him the ribs. 'Shut up Shinn.'

When Cagalli reached the corner of the hallway, she cut the connection and snapped her phone shut, shooting a glance at the trio who had their backs facing her. Sighing, she looked down at Devon who was tugging at the sleeve of her hoodie.

'You want to see the new model I built?' He asked excitingly.

'I will Devon,' Cagalli said as they continued their way down the hall until they reached the huge living room, 'you know I'd love to, but I have to talk to Kira.'

'You want to talk to me?' Kira asked, looking up from the tea he was sipping from. He was just hanging out with Athrun, the crew from Archangel and Mwu La Fllaga who had arrived later with Murrue Ramius.

'What's up kiddo?' Mwu asked, looking over his shoulder .'Can't say it in front of us?'

Cagalli smirked and punched him lightly in the shoulder. 'Are you a twin of mine?'

'Thank God no.' Mwu rolled his eyes.

'Then you don't get to participate in our sibling talk.' Cagalli concluded.

'Is something wrong?' Athrun asked, his eyebrows furrowed as Kira stood up.

'Nothing, nothing is wrong.' Cagalli said softly. 'In fact, something is finally going right for once in my life.'

'You want to talk outside?' Kira asked, noting Athrun's deepened frown.

'Sure.' Cagalli kneeled down and ruffled Devon's short red hair. 'I'll see you a bit champ.'

'Athrun!' Devon turned to his next target.

'What's up sis?' Kira asked as he closed the balcony doors behind him.

'Is it going to rain tonight?' Cagalli asked, looking up at the starry sky.

'I don't think so, nothing about precipitation from the weather report.' Kira replied.

'That's good.' Cagalli said absently, the wind blowing up her shoulder length blonde hair.

Frowning, Kira walked up to her. 'Are you okay Cagalli? You seem…'

'I seem what?' Cagalli asked, leaning against the rail. 'I seem like I'm distancing myself from all of you, from all of the merriment?'

Kira looked at her briefly before sighing. 'Athrun's been asking about you for the last two months, he's worried about you.'

'I'd be disappointed if he wasn't.' Cagalli said softly, smiling.

'Really, Cagalli, what's wrong?' Kira asked in a bear whisper. 'It's not like you to be this secretive and hard to get.'

Cagalli nodded. 'Sometimes I still have a hard time believing that we are siblings, twins.'

'Cagalli, don't change the subject.' Kira said shortly. 'What is wrong?'

'You want to know what's wrong?' Cagalli looked at Kira briefly before sighing. 'Kira, I'm breaking.'

Kira's eyebrows furrowed. 'What?'

'I've reached breaking point Kira.' Cagalli whispered. 'I can't do it anymore, I need a break, I need to get out of here.'

'You want to take a leave from the government?' Kira asked carefully. 'You want to go on vacation?'

'Yeah.' Cagalli nodded deeply, looking out at the sea. 'I'm taking very a long leave, I've resigned.'

Kira's eyes widened in shock. 'What? You've resigned from the government?'

'I handed in my resignation four weeks ago.' Cagalli said softly. 'The past months have been busy for me because I've been working on the handover. My resignation was approved a week ago along with the passing of a structural reformation act of the government.'

'Why?' Kira asked in a whisper. 'Are you planning to abandon your country? To leave your duties behind? To let your Father down?'

Closing her eyes, Cagalli took a deep breath. 'Kira, sometimes, you have the face the fact that you are not suitable. I've been struggling for three years and I know that I can't do it, it's not in me and I know that someone else, someone who loves this country as much as I do, will make a better leader. I know my limits Kira, and it's my time to step down.'

Kira looked at her silently. 'You feel betrayed?'

Cagalli gave herself a bitter laugh. 'I feel suffocated, every time I think about the war… it's too complicated, everything just sort mixed up together and now… I just feel like I've reached my limits and my limits are not good enough for this country, for the people around me.'

'What are you going to do?' Kira asked softly.

'I'm going to leave.' Cagalli said after a few moments of silence. 'I'm leaving this place, I need to leave this place before this complicated feeling turns into hate. I don't want to hate my country, I really don't… you understand me don't you?'

'I do… I do understand you.' Kira said nodding. 'It's like me and Athrun. We know that we can do so much more but we don't, we can't because of circumstances… I do know that feeling.'

'Lacus makes a better politician then me.' Cagalli smiled. 'If only I can be more like her.'

'You've done your best Cagalli.' Kira said, giving her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. 'We all know that, Orb knows that.'

'You think Orb will understand?' Cagalli asked, turning to look at Kira.

'In time, they will.' Kira whispered, nodding.

Reaching into her pocket, Cagalli took out a velvet box and held it up to Kira. 'Last time I asked you to give it back to him, you failed me, so I've decided, to give you another chance.' Taking his hand, he put the box into his palm and closed it.

'Are you sure?' Kira asked, looking down at his sister. 'Are you sure it's… over?'

Sighing, Cagalli turned. 'It hurts to think about it at night when I'm trying to sleep, but it's something that you have to deal with quickly, decisively, to ease the pain. Maybe… maybe I'm just not good enough for him, or maybe… maybe our chances have passed. Either way, I can't, I just can't….'

Taking a deep breath, Kira turned Cagalli around and enveloped her in his arms, stroking her back. 'It's okay, you can cry Cagalli, it's me.'

Biting her lip, Cagalli held onto his shoulder. 'I promised myself no crying, but somehow, you just make want to…'

'It's okay…' Kira whispered as she sobbed quietly into his neck, tightening her grip around his neck, as if wanting to relieve the stress and tension that has built up for so long but couldn't be released completely.

She needed time. Everyone needed time. It wasn't something a bandage could fix, some wounds just need time to heal.

* * *

'Kisaka!' Lacus opened the door wide open while Ledonir Kisaka stepped in full Orb military uniform.

'Lacus-sama.' Kisaka nodded his head. 'Is Cagalli here?'

Lacus nodded with a smile. 'She's in the living room with the kids, everyone's just hanging out.'

'I see.' Kisaka's voice trailed as they walked down the hallway.

'How's it been?' Lacus asked. 'The parliament, Cagalli.'

'She's fine.' Kisaka said with a small smile. 'Everything's under control.'

Lacus looked at him in the eye briefly. 'Good, that's always good to hear.'

'Kisaka! It's Kisaka!' At the sight of the burly tanned man, the kids rushed forward to him, laughing.

'Happy birthday Devon.' Kisaka smiled down at the little redhead.

'Are you here to take away Cagalli?' Devon asked.

'I'm afraid so.' Kisaka said. 'The princess still has some work to do.'

'No! I don't want Cagalli to leave!' Devon dashed into Cagalli's arms. 'Cagalli, stay here for the night!'

'Devon, you know I can't.' Cagalli coaxed.

'But it's my birthday!' Devon protested. 'I never get to see you! I never get to see you and Athrun!'

'Devon…' Cagalli sighed and knelt down.

'No!' Devon threw his arms around Cagalli's neck.

'Devon, come on, it's not like Cagalli's leaving Orb.' Lacus knelt down beside them. 'She's always around and now that we don't fight anymore, she'll come more often, right Cagalli?'

Cagalli managed a smile at Lacus after shooting a brief glance at Kira, not realizing that Athrun was looking at them closely.

'I'll stay.' Cagalli said finally.

'You'll stay?' Devon threw his hands up in the air. 'Yeah! I got Cagalli to stay!'

'Are you sure?' Kisaka asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

Cagalli nodded, standing up with Devon's hand in hers. 'I'll make the calls here, it's really no big deal.'

Kisaka sighed. 'Well then, I'll see you tomorrow morning at Morgenroete Princess.'

Cagalli nodded. 'I'll see you there tomorrow.'

Nodding at Athrun, Kisaka turned and caught Meyrin's eye, who scrambled and bowed her head quickly at him, startling Lunamaria and Shinn who were standing next to her.

'It's getting late.' Athrun opened his mouth after the kids pushed Cagalli into the kitchen, turning to the three. 'You want me to give you two a ride? You took the cab right?'

Shinn shrugged after exchanging glances with Lunamaria. 'I don't see why not.'

'Will you come back?' Kira asked.

Athrun blinked. 'I don't know, probably, probably not, it's late.'

'Have a safe ride then.' Lacus smiled. 'I'll see you guys later then.'

Meyrin smiled back and motioned for Lunamaria and Shinn.

'Is everything okay Kira?' Lacus asked as they watched the group disappear down the hallway. 'I don't know, but Cagalli seems…'

'She's okay.' Kira took her hand and gave it a squeeze. 'She's going to be okay, give her some time.'

Lacus looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. 'Give her some time? Are you sure everything's okay?'

Kira just nodded. 'I'm sure, dessert?'

Outside, Athrun turned to Meyrin and gave her the keys to his convertible. 'You guys head over first, I want to talk to Kisaka.'

'Okay!' Meyrin said quickly.

'It's another sign sis.' Lunamaria smirked, wrapping one arm around her neck. 'You so have to tell him tonight.'

'Tonight?' Meyrin's eyes bugged out. 'You are crazy!'

'Better tonight then never.' Shinn muttered as they headed towards Athrun's grey convertible.

At the other end, Athrun caught up with Kisaka just as he started the engine of his military jeep. 'Kisaka!'

'Athrun?' Kisaka's eyebrows furrowed. 'Is something wrong.'

'You tell me.' Athrun said shortly, holding onto the windshield as if he'd step on the gas and drive away any minute. 'Is something wrong?'

'Why would you think there's something wrong?' Kisaka asked back.

Athrun looked down at the man for a while. 'If there's something wrong, if something is going on with Cagalli, you will tell me, right?' He frowned at the silence. 'Right Kisaka?'

Kisaka smiled. 'Of course Athrun, of course will tell you but I assure you that nothing is wrong, Cagalli is perfectly fine at this moment.'

Athrun exhaled loudly. 'Good, good, I just needed to hear that.'

'What is she to you?' Kisaka asked out of the blue, catching Athrun by surprise.

'Wha – what do you mean?' Athrun stammered.

Sighing, Kisaka released the hand break. 'Think about it Athrun.' With that, he reversed his jeep. 'Have a good night Athrun.'

'You too.' Athrun said before the jeep disappeared around the corner. He stood there for a while before turning, heading towards his own convertible. Climbing in, he stared at the steering wheel, totally oblivious of the three other people until Meyrin called him.

'You're keys.' Meyrin said softly, holding it out for him.

Blinking, Athrun turned and gave Meyrin a smile, taking the keys from her, his hand brushing against hers. 'Thanks.'

'No problem.' Meyrin brushed and looked away shyly.

Totally oblivious of Meyrin's reaction, Athrun stuck his key into the jack and gunned the engine. Narrowing his eyes, he looked up at the brightly lit mansion briefly before releasing the breaks, reversing the car with one arm extended behind the passenger seat. At that, Shinn couldn't help but snicker at Lunamaria who in turn shot him a glare.

Pausing, Athrun shift the gear and gave Meyrin a smile. 'Let's get you guys home.'

* * *

The drive was in complete silence as the convertible cruised along the shore. Athrun would shot a glance at the sea where the dock extended until they turned the corner and headed towards the city center.

'Are you going to stay here Athrun?' Shinn suddenly asked.

Athrun was silent for a while, looking at Shinn in the rear mirror before he pulled into the parking lot of the government guest accommodation located downtown. Killing the engine, Athrun took a deep breath. 'Why the question Shinn?'

Shinn looked back at him in the mirror. 'Because, I want to know where you're loyalty lies.'

'You're trying to ask me where my loyalty should lie Shinn.' Athrun said quietly.

'You can put it that way too.' Shinn said flatly. 'So? Are you staying? Or are you going back to PLANT? Back to ZAFT?'

'I'm staying.' After the curt reply, he climbed out of his convertible.

'Why?' Shinn asked, jumping out as well, slamming the door shut. Lunamaria couldn't help but sigh while Meyrin looked down at her lap, still sitting in the passenger seat.

Sighing deeply, Athrun turned to him. 'Will you be willing to stay in Orb Shinn?'

'No.' Shinn replied immediately. 'I can never live in Orb again, never.'

'That's with me.' Athrun said quietly. At that, Meyrin looked up with wide eyes.

Shinn stared at him. 'You hate PLANT?'

Athrun looked away. 'I don't hate PLANT, but PLANT is no longer my home.'

'You fought for PLANT!' Shinn argued. 'How can you just throw your loyalty away like that?'

'It's war Shinn.' Athrun replied in a low voice.

'Then why did you reenlist?' Shinn demanded, his hand in a fist.

'Lapse in judgment.' Athrun replied promptly. 'Or to be more specific, I wasn't firm enough, I didn't know how I could use my powers. I used it in the wrong way, I trusted the wrong person and I paid the price, I made other people pay the price. Orb is where I belong now, is where I _want_ to belong.'

'Is it because of Attha?' Shinn scowled.

'Leave her out of this!' Athrun snapped, much to Shinn's surprise. 'You have been nothing but hostile to her. I know your reasons but it doesn't give you the excuse. She has done all she could and sometimes, circumstances just get into the way of everything so don't blame her for what happened to you!'

Shinn gritted his teeth. 'She knows nothing about war! She knows nothing about politics! Nothing!'

'Stop it!' Athrun snapped. 'You're not the only person who lost a family in the war, you are not the only one who went through the agony of fighting, of killing! Don't judge her when you know nothing about her!'

Athrun and Shinn glared at each for a long while before Lunamaria stepped up and held Shinn back, wrapping one hand over his trembling fist. 'We're not here to have argument Shinn, it's not worth it, we're in peace now.'

'With Cagalli Yula Attha around, I doubt that Orb will be in peace!' Shinn snarled. Turning, he stomped up the stairs and into the lobby with Lunamaria following him, bowing her head apologetically at Athrun.

'He hasn't changed one bit has he?' Meyrin said with a weak smile, closing the door.

'I just hope he gets through this soldier's transition.' Athrun muttered, sighing deeply.

'He's hot headed, but he has his own reasons for…' Meyrin's voice trailed, 'for behaving this way to the princess.'

'I guess.' Athrun said quietly, looking down at his feet. 'It's late, you should go in as well.'

'Athrun-san!' Meyrin grabbed his arm. She looked into his eyes intensely, the conversation she had with Shinn and her sister still ringing in her head. Biting her lip, she threw her arms around him.

'Meyrin!' Athrun tensed up, holding onto her shoulder with one hand.

'You know I didn't risk my life for nothing!' Meyrin cried into his chest. 'I like you! I really do!'

They stayed like that for a while, both silent until Meyrin pulled away slightly. She stared up at him for a while and to Athrun's surprise, she suddenly grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him.

He didn't kiss her back.

When they parted, Athrun pushed Meyrin back gently, both hands on her shoulder.

'You don't like me?' Meyrin whispered, her eyes trembling.

'It's not that Meyrin.' Athrun sighed. 'I like you, but it's because I'm grateful.'

'I can wait!' Meyrin cried. 'I really can! I can wait until you, you get over…'

'Until I get over Cagalli?' Athrun asked quietly. At that, Meyrin looked down, biting her lower lip hard. 'Meyrin, this is not just because of Cagalli. Do you really want a relationship to be based on gratitude?'

'I understand.' Meyrin nodded quietly. 'I guess I'm just not good enough – '

'You're a wonderful girl.' Athrun interrupted, giving her shoulders a squeeze. 'It's just… we will never be that way.'

Taking a deep breath, Meyrin looked up with tears streaming down her face. 'I guess. You don't know what you're missing out.'

'I'm sure there's another man out there who will appreciate you, give you the appreciate you deserve.' Holding the side of her head, Athrun hesitated briefly before pressing a light kiss on her forehead. 'I'm sure.'

Nodding, Meyrin let go of Athrun and turned abruptly, her hands flying over her mouth. She took a few seconds to calm down before looking over her shoulder. 'Goodbye Athrun-san.'

Giving her a smile, Athrun nodded. 'Goodbye Meyrin.'

**  
End of Chapter 1**

**A/N:** After a fairly successful GS trilogy and another YS fic in progress, I figured I'd take it to the next level and write a fic that involves main characters from the series, and my conclusion? It's so hard. There's just so many things that you have to consider when writing these characters because they've been developed so much in the original series. I despise OOC characters and I spend a lot of time trying to eliminate any OOCness there is, though I would not doubt that people will not see zero of it. It's a challenge, and this challenge has given me writer's block.

Anyway, for those who have known me from GSA and Mr and Mrs. Jule, sorry but I don't have a schedule for this fic because it's not even half complete, which is kind of rare for me. Writer's block got in the way and I made a promise to post it today. Oh well, we'll see what happens.

For my previous readers, welcome back, for new readers, please enjoy.


	2. Silent Goodbyes

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter 2: Silent Goodbyes**

'**_She's needs a break Athrun. A well deserved break, away from Orb, one more push and she'll fall apart Athrun, you know that better then anyone.' _**

Gritting his teeth, Athrun added pressure to the gas, the needle on the meter slowly rising to one hundred and fifty kilometers per hour as his convertible flew down the deserted highway. Resting one elbow on the side of the door, he felt his heart wrench as memories flooded back. The past year was an unfortunate encounter with women for him and not only did he hurt Meyrin, he also killed Mia.

He'd never forget the sight of Mia falling onto the ground, blood oozing out of her chest. The desperation on her face was still printed in his mind and he unconsciously felt the weight of her dead body still in his arms. Why?

Making an abrupt stop in front of the mansion, Athrun tried to calm himself down, gripping the steering wheel and counting to ten. Leaning back, he reached out one hand and gripped his fringes.

Stepping out of his car, he slammed the door and walked up the stairs. Realizing that it was already one in the morning, he opted to enter from the back where he had the code. When he stepped into the kitchen, he found Mwu and Murrue sitting at the counter stools with two cups of hot chocolate, a game of chess before them.

'Hello Athrun.' Murrue smiled after making a move. 'It's late, I thought you left the house at eleven.'

'The kids wanted to wait but Lacus made them go to bed.' Mwu said. 'Checkmate.'

'Oh no you don't.' Murrue muttered, rubbing her chin.

Mwu sneered. 'Try me.' He turned to Athrun with raised eyebrows. 'Did someone get a little action?'

'Captain Fllaga, don't toy with me, it's really late.' Athrun muttered, rubbing the side of his head.

'Then why are you even here? Should you be back at your dormitory?' Murrue asked absently.

'Isn't that obvious?' Mwu shook his head. 'Looking for Cagalli?'

Athrun looked down at Mwu's cocky smile. Sometimes he still couldn't believe that he was standing in front of him, alive, with scars, but alive.

'Yes.' Athrun replied after a pause. 'I was wondering if she was around but if she's asleep, then I'll just leave, I can find her tomorrow.'

'If you can.' Mwu muttered.

Athrun frowned. 'What do you mean?'

'She's busy, right?' Mwu raised his eyebrows. 'With parliament, government stuff.'

'Yes.' Athrun nodded with a sigh.

'Don't test him.' Murrue turned to Athrun after making her move. 'Actually, Cagalli went out after the kids were put to sleep.'

'At this time of the night?' Athrun's frown deepened.

'She's a big girl, she knows how to protect herself.' Mwu muttered. 'Not that the girl really needs any protection, she can kick anyone's ass, even that Shinn kid I bet.'

Athrun sighed louder. 'And to think that after the war, Shinn would change his attitude towards Cagalli.'

'Can you blame him?' Mwu asked, shooting a glance at Athrun. 'I mean, he lost his family to Orb's decision at what? Fourteen? He's just a kid, an angry kid and he has every right to be angry. Come on Athrun, you're a soldier too, you were angry when your comrades died in the war, died because of Kira.'

Athrun looked at him silently until Murrue said 'checkmate'.

'Try getting out of that.' Murrue smirked before turning to Athrun. 'Give him some time. To be honest, grudges like this can last forever, you can't expect yourself make him change, he has to change on his own.'

'I'm going to find Cagalli, do you know where she went?' Athrun asked, changing the subject.

'Probably outside, taking a walk, clearing her mind.' Mwu said absently, scratching his head.

'I guess I'll take a walk too and try my luck.' Athrun said. 'Have a great game.'

'Oh we will.' Mwu sneered, making his next move.

When Athrun closed the door behind him, he couldn't help but smile when Murrue cried out loud from the other side of the door. Buttoning one button of his black blazer, Athrun made his way down the stairs and before he knew it, he was walking down the beach. Stopping, he looked up at the stars briefly, vaguely making out the lines of PLANT among the thin strips of clouds. He still remembered the breathtaking view of PLANT during his first MS training four years ago, it seemed like forever, yet also like yesterday.

Taking a deep breath, Athrun strolled down the breezy beach, taking in the quiet scenery before him. Two years ago, Kira was the one standing here, mourning for everything that had happened in the war. A sense of déjà vu washed over him, but this time, it was him. He was the one who felt that there was still a load of responsibility, of guilt, of remorse on his shoulder. It was worse then the first time despite the experience.

And the first time, Cagalli was there. Now? He didn't know.

Squinting his eyes, Athrun made out a flicker at the far end of the shore where there was a cliff. His eyebrows furrowing, he made his way quickly across the beach, feeling the nocturnal breeze whip through his hair. He wasn't that surprised to find Cagalli inside the cave at the base of the cliff, a bonfire lit. She was lying her head on her duffle bag towards the exit, her arms behind her head, her legs crossed at her ankles, a blanket and a thermos beside her.

It was Cagalli, the Cagalli he first knew.

'What are you doing here?' Athrun asked.

Cagalli paused for a moment before turning her head. She knew he was coming, she heard his footsteps. 'Watching the stars, it's a quiet night.'

'Yeah, when the kids go to bed.' Athrun said, still standing at the entrance.

They stared at each other for a while before Cagalli motioned her head. 'Come in, sit, it's getting cool outside.'

'Well, considering it's already November.' Athrun said absently, sitting down beside her crossed feet, leaning his back against the wall. Crossing his own legs, he looked at Cagalli. 'Are you okay?'

Frowning, Cagalli perched on her elbows. 'You ask that question so many times, seriously.'

It was meant to be a joke, but Athrun failed to find it as funny as it should. 'Are you okay?'

Cagalli stared into his emerald eyes for a moment before nodding. 'I'm okay Athrun, you worry too much.'

'I'm entitled worry, since you refused to see me for the last two months.' Athrun said nonchalantly, brushing his knees. At that, Cagalli fell silent, making Athrun's frown deepen. 'What's going on Cagalli?'

'I was busy.' Cagalli shrugged, lying back down. 'A lot was going on after the Messiah fell and I just thought I wouldn't be able to concentrate with you around, you had duties to perform, I just thought it would be for the best, until everything was settled.'

'Is everything settled?' Athrun asked.

'Yeah.' Cagalli smiled up at the sky. 'I have to say, in my three years of governing, things have not gone better.'

'That's a good thing… right?' Athrun asked quietly.

Rolling her eyes, Cagalli sat up, her face slightly flushed. 'Gods! Of course it's a good thing! Jesus Athrun!'

'Sorry.' Athrun apologized, sighing heavily. 'You know me.'

'I know you.' Cagalli smiled, nodding to herself. 'How can I possibly not know you? Or… at least I think I do.'

At that, Athrun couldn't help but frown again. 'Cagalli?'

Cagalli shook her head quickly and crossed her legs. Unscrewing the cap of her thermos, she poured some steaming hot chocolate into the cap and handed it to Athrun. 'What some? It's my homemade special.'

'I wouldn't say no.' Athrun smiled and took the cap, taking a sip. 'Gods this is unbeatable.'

'Hey? What do you think you're doing?' Cagalli asked sharply when Athrun held the cap to his mouth again.

'Weren't you the one who gave it to me?' Athrun asked innocently.

'Yeah, for a sip.' Kneeling on the ground, she crawled over and plopped beside Athrun, snatching the cap from him. 'The first serving is the best, even if it's from a thermos, you think I'd you get away with all of it?'

'Well, I'm happy to share.' Athrun said absently as he watched her drain it down.

'Hot chocolate like this can just make my day.' Cagalli sighed.

'You can be easily pleased sometime.' Athrun commented.

Cagalli turned to Athrun, smiling. 'I believe I can.'

They sat there in silence, the only sound being the flickering bonfire and the quiet waves outside.

'You remember how we first met Athrun?' Cagalli suddenly asked.

'Yeah.' Athrun said in a coarse voice, feeling an uncomfortable rush inside him. Somehow, he didn't like how their conversation was going, where it was heading.

'You thought I was a boy.' Cagalli sneered. 'I was so pissed, seriously. You know Kira thought I was boy when I first met him on Heliopolis?'

'Are you serious?' Athrun turned to Cagalli with wide eyes.

'Oh yeah.' Cagalli made a face. 'That's why I yelled at you, and you tied me up and tossed my gun into the sea.'

'Well, serves you right.' Athrun muttered. 'You screamed so loud you almost made me deaf.'

'Hey, seriously, you got your revenge.' Cagalli smirked.

Athrun smiled. 'And you got yours.'

Cagalli couldn't help but laugh. 'I still can't believe I pulled the trigger and let go of the gun. That was the worst move I have ever done in my entire life when it comes to firearms.'

'I still have the scar.' Athrun said.

'Yeah, a way to remind me of my stupidity.' Cagalli scowled.

'And understandable kind of stupidity.' Athrun agreed. At that, Cagalli gave him a light punch on the shoulder. 'Come on, you know that it was bad move.'

'We've gone through a lot haven't we?' Cagalli said a soft voice.

'Yeah.' Athrun responded, looking away.

'You know…' Cagalli's voice trailed. 'Sometimes I can't help but wonder what it would be like if I had done things differently, if… if I had convinced you to not go to PLANT.'

At that, Athrun fell silent.

'I know I wouldn't have agreed to marry Yuna.' Cagalli said lightly.

'Really?' Athrun looked at Cagalli sideways.

'Or maybe I would have made a better struggle.' Cagalli said. Filling the cap again, she took a sip. 'Tell me what happened Athrun, tell me about your encounters in ZAFT, about Mia Campbell, Lunamaria, Meyrin.' She turned and gave him a grin. 'I heard you had some girl trouble.'

Athrun couldn't help but frown. 'Cagalli… I don't think – '

'Come on, I missed all the action.' Cagalli insisted. 'Give me some details.'

Athrun shot a glance at her before sighing. 'Well… I guess Lunamaria, she just admired me for being Athrun Zala. She was a nice girl, cherry, brought a lot life to the squad, decent MS pilot, can't really complain with her limited experience back then.'

'How about Mia, that impersonator?' Cagalli asked softly.'She died, in front of you, right?'

Feeling his heart wrench, Athrun gripped his shirt. 'Yeah, she died saving Lacus. Ironic huh? She was there to kill Lacus and replace her completely but in the end, she died saving her, and I blame myself for being unable to save her.'

'Did you cry?' Cagalli asked. At that, Athrun looked up abruptly. 'Did you?'

'Yeah…' Athrun nodded. 'I did cry, it was first time I shed tears during the war. You're right.'

'She must have meant a lot to you then.' Cagalli said softly, without the slightest hint of sarcasm. She was never known for sarcasm.

Athrun shot her a glance before pulling one knee to his chest. 'I just… I just pity her. She was lonely, she's always been lonely and she's just… just being someone else to fulfill this loneliness of hers. She's a sad person, a person who just… just lost herself.'

'She likes you, doesn't she?' Cagalli asked.

'More like admired me.' Athrun replied. 'She doesn't know what she wants, she just admires me because I was Lacus' fiancé.'

'How about Meyrin?' Cagalli asked in a whisper. 'She must really like you to risk her own life.' At Athrun's silence, Cagalli couldn't help but bite her lip.

'You've asked me that question before Cagalli.' Athrun said quietly, looking at her sideways, watching as she lowered her head. 'You really want to know?'

Cagalli looked up and smirked. 'Try me.'

'She kissed me tonight.' Athrun said promptly, looking at Cagalli closely. 'She said she liked me, said she'd wait.'

Cagalli had to muster all her strength and will-power to stop the tears that were threatening to well up. Turning away from him, she pulled her knees to her chest. 'That's… good. She seems like a sweet girl, I asked her to take care of you before Archangel launched, she kept her promise, she brought you back in one piece. You owe her a lot.'

Reaching out one hand, Athrun turned Cagalli's face towards him by the chin and looked into her eyes. 'Liar, you've always been a bad liar.'

Cagalli smiled. 'It's because you see through me Athrun.'

'Do I?' Athrun whispered, his lips inches from hers.

Cagalli could only nod slightly before Athrun pressed his lips onto hers in a gentle kiss. When they parted, Athrun covered his hand over hers that had made it's way up to his face, fingering her fourth finger. 'Do you know who I was thinking ofthe whole time?'

Cagalli smiled while biting her lower lip. 'Can I say me?'

Reaching out both hands, he cupped her face and kissed her again, this time more deeply, more intense and more desperate then he had ever kissed her. Their relationship had always been an ambiguous one, one that was not exactly pure friendship yet not really lovers. They started out as enemies and ended up as comrades, as two people who held onto each other because they were lost in the midst of war. They kept each other alive, but when war was over, did their relationship still have the basis to continue on?

Gripping Athrun's shoulder, Cagalli felt the tears that had built up in the past two months suddenly just overflow like a dam. 'They – they say it hurts the first time, I always laughed.' She whispered between her tears while smiling.

'The pain will be over soon, trust me.' Athrun said through gritted teeth, trying hard not to move. After a few moments, Cagalli held his face with both hands, guiding it down so his forehead leaned onto hers.

'Be gentle with me okay?' Cagalli whispered with a smile.

Athrun just smiled back. 'When have I ever been rough?'

It was true, he was never rough, except for the first time they met, when he thought she was a guy. He was always gentle, he never yelled at her but she always did. During the past three years, she'd always wondered why he was interested in her when he had Lacus Clyne to compare her with. She wasn't exceptionally pretty, she wasn't gentle, she wasn't smart, she only knew how to use brute strength, she never really learnt the beauty of negotiation and diplomacy, she'd blindly adhered to her Father's belief of absolute neutrality and in the end plunged the country she loved so much into warfare and ruins…

She was just another person, just another girl, a girl who was put into circumstances that in the end she had proven that she could not deal with.

Could never deal with. It only took her three years to come to this realization.

'It's getting cold.' Wrapping his arms around Cagalli, he held her close to him and kissed her on the forehead. Closing her eyes, she buried her face into his neck, trying desperately to feel the warmth of his body, to remember what it was like to be in Athrun Zala's arms, to be kissed by him, caressed by him, to be loved by him. Love?

'Athrun.' Cagalli whispered into his ear, fingering the red stone that was dangling from his neck.

'Yes?' Athrun opened his eyes slightly, staring at the dying fire.

'If you had to, would you wait, like Meyrin?' Cagalli asked. She didn't get an immediate answer. In fact, it wasn't until the fire completely die out did Athrun open his mouth again, thinking that she had fallen asleep.

'I don't think I have to wait anymore Cagalli, I'm back.'

Smiling, Cagalli snuggled closer to him unconsciously and they both started relaxing against each other. When sunrise came, it would be another day, another story, a new beginning for her, for him, for the both of them.

* * *

'Unfortunate.'

Whirling around, Shinn gritted his teeth at the sight of Cagalli.

'What are you doing here?' Shinn demanded.

Giving him a brief look, Cagalli walked past him and knelt down, placing a single lily onto the memorial stone with brown gloved hands. She knelt there for a few moments before standing up again, the strong coastal wind blowing into her face.

'The last person they'd expect to be here is you, is someone with the name Attha.' Shinn spat, glaring at Cagalli's back.

Turning around, Cagalli looked at Shinn. 'You really do hate me don't you?'

'Yes.' Shinn sneered. 'You're not going to make me change.'

'Did I say I want to make you change?' Cagalli asked, raising her eyebrows. At that, Shinn widened his eyes, startled. Sighing, Cagalli turned sideways. 'You and I aren't really that different Shinn Asuka. We both like to put the blame on others.'

'I don't – ' His voice caught in his throat when Cagalli turned and glared at him.

'Don't judge someone you don't really know because it's going to come back and bite you in the ass.' Cagalli warned.

'Like I'd take your word.' Shinn scowled. 'You are partly blamed for what happened to this country in the last few months, don't deny it!'

'I don't.' Cagalli said promptly, startling Shinn again. 'I really don't want to deny the fact that I'm just one person, one person who is trying hard but not really achieving anything. I know that, I know perfectly well.'

'Then why are you still here?' Shinn muttered. 'Do what you have to do.'

'That's exactly why I'm here.' Cagalli countered, giving Shinn a small smile.

'Excuse.' Shinn sneered.

'You lost your family to Onogoro?' Cagalli asked softly. 'All of them?'

It was the first time someone asked him that question so bluntly, Cagalli Yula Attha indeed knew how to surprise him with questions. 'Yeah, my father, my mother and my sister Mayu.'

'Right.' Cagalli nodded her head. 'They died right before you?'

'Yes.'

Cagalli sighed. 'You would think that after losing someone, you'd hit rock bottom, climb back up, make yourself stronger, take revenge… and then what? I've been trying to find that answer for so long… you're not the only one who watched the ones you love die, you're not the only one who blames yourself for not having enough power, enough strength to make a difference, to change history.'

Shiinn stared at her. 'You lost your Father?'

Cagalli smiled. 'I lost my country.'

Shinn widened his eyes at her.

'You want to know the ugly truth?' Cagalli asked, turning to him.

'What?' Shinn asked weakly.

'_It's true… it's true… how can you Father? How can you do this? You traitor!' _

'There isn't a time that I don't blame my Father for everything.' Cagalli said, looking into Shinn's red orbs. 'From the fall Heliopolis to the fall of Orb… everything.'

Not waiting for him to respond, Cagalli turned and walked past him, picking up the duffle bag that she had dropped on the dock.

'Where are you going?' Shinn asked quickly.

Cagalli stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder, smiling. 'I'm done here, it's my turn to find place where I can heal and get over everything that has happened. I hope I can, wish me luck.'

'You're leaving?' Shinn asked with wide eyes. 'What about Orb? What about Athrun?'

'You have to do what you got to do.' Cagalli said. 'Ask Miss Hawke to take good care of Athrun.'

Shinn was left alone, watching Cagalli walk down the long dock. Jumping in the jeep she drove in, she started the engine. Before releasing the breaks, she looked up and smirked at him. 'Don't hate this country because of the war, because of the Atthas, it's not worth it, it's a country that's worth being loved. Giving him one more nod, she reversed quickly and steered into the wood. Turning on the radio, the time check was seven forty five, fifteen minutes until the first morning news.

Ten minutes later, she drove through the security gates of Morgenroete's number six factory and parked the jeep. Climbing out, she hauled the duffle bag out from the back seat and walked up to Erica Simmons and Kisaka who were waiting for her at the control panel in front of Akatsuki.

'Hey kid.' Erica smiled.

'Hey.' Cagalli returned the smile and looked up at Akatsuki. 'You think my Father will… you think he'll slap me again if he knew?'

'He'd probably be rolling in his grave right about now.' Erica joked quietly.

Cagalli took a deep breath. 'I'm doing the right thing.'

Erica nodded. 'Yeah, you are, and no one can judge you but you.' Reaching into her Orb jacket, she took out a pouch and handed it her. 'Everything you need, your new identity has already been entered into Orb's database.'

'Thank you.' Cagalli whispered. Opening the pouch, she took out the passport that had the emblem of the Kingdom of Scandanavia printed in gold.

'Take care kid.' Kisaka said softly. 'It's your chance now, to start all over, don't regret.'

'No regrets Kisaka.' Cagalli looked up. 'I promise.' Sliding the duffle bag off her shoulder, she handed it to Kisaka. 'Tell Mana that I'll miss her dresses. I'll miss her nagging me.'

Kisaka nodded. 'I will.'

Giving them a huge smile, Cagalli closed her passport and slipped it back into the pouch. 'Take care.'

Taking a step back, Erica and Kisaka gave her a salute. Returning it, Cagalli turned and walked away, picking up her pace. Jumping into the jeep, she steered out of the factory without another look. When she reached the shuttle port, she parked the car at the farthest car park she could possibly find. Reaching for a black duffle bag that was at the foot of the passenger's seat, she unzipped it and took out a red cap and shades. Tucking her hair under the cap, she checked herself in the rear mirror before putting her shades on. Tying a scarf around her neck, she gave herself a smile and was about to turn away from her reflection when she caught sight of a bluish mark on her neck that was still peeking out. Reaching up one hand, she fingered it unconsciously.

Turning away abruptly, she reached into the duffle bag and took out a wind breaker, zipping it up to her neck. Hopping off the jeep she slung the duffle bag over her shoulder and made her way to the terminal. It was still pretty quiet considering the fact that it was still seven forty five in the morning.

Fifteen more minutes.

Staring at the screen behind the stewardess at the counter, she watched as the clock at the corner of the screen ticked.

'Good morning Orb, today is 2nd of November, C.E. 73. It is currently 22 degrees Celsius with a forecast of occasional showers.'

'Miss?'

Turning to the stewardess, Cagalli handed her the passport.

'Miss Caitir is it?' The stewardess asked with a bright smile.

'Yes.' Cagalli nodded.

'Did you enjoy your visit here?' The stewardess asked absently.

Cagalli smiled. 'Absolutely.'

After a few moments, the stewardess handed back her passport and ticket. 'Have a nice trip.'

'Hey, there's special news.' The stewardess on the other counter hissed.

'What news?'

Sticking her passport back into her pocket, Cagalli made her way down the bridge before she had the chance to catch the conversation between the two stewardesses. When she reached her seat, she leaned back and stared out the window. Placing her right hand over her left one, she unconsciously rubbed her fourth ring finger where a beautiful ruby ring used to sit.

Past tense.

It was all over.

Closing her eyes, Cagalli leaned back and relaxed. When she woke up, she would be in a totally different world, totally different country and start a totally new life. She would.

Goodbye Orb...

Goodbye Athrun.

* * *

His eyes suddenly flew open at the sound of a huge wave crashing onto the shore. Feeling his heart beat in his ear, Athrun took a few deep breaths and sat up.

Cagalli? Turning, he found that she was nowhere to be seen and he was sitting in on the ground with his clothes discarded in a pile beside him, the blanket thrown over his lap. Where was she?

Pushing the innate fear behind him, Athrun threw on his clothes quickly and folded the blanket while convincing himself that Cagalli had just gone back to the mansion or to her house near the parliament building. Noting in disturbance that Cagalli's duffle bag was gone, Athrun racked his hand through his hair violently and stepped out of the cave, making his way down the beach back to the mansion as quickly as he could. When he reached the back doors, he heard some noises from the other side of the door.

'Athrun!' Lacus opened the door wide open and motioned for him to come in quickly. 'We've been looking all over for you!'

'I'm sorry.' Athrun rubbed his forehead while tossing the blanket over the chair. 'I left my cell in the car.'

'Have you seen Cagalli?' Lacus asked quickly.

'I was with her last night but now I can't find her.' Athrun said, his eyebrows furrowed. 'I thought she came back, what's going on?'

'It's coming.' Murrue said at the entrance of the kitchen, motioning for them to go into the living room. Gulping down a lump in his throat, Athrun followed them and found that the eight o'clock news was on, reporting that the representative of Orb, Cagalli Yula Attha will be making a very important announcement.

'What announcement?' Athrun asked, his frown deepening, turning to Kira, who just looked back at him, shaking his head.

'Good morning everyone.' Cagalli appeared on the television screen in her office. 'I am Cagalli Yula Attha, daughter of Uzumi Nara Attha and current representative of Orb.

'This is the 23rd time I have spoken to you from this office where so many decisions have been made to rebuild and reshape the history of this Nation. In all the decisions I have made in my public life, I have tried to do what was best for this Nation. Throughout this long and difficult period of struggling in the international scene, Orb has achieved mutual agreement with PLANT and the Earth Alliance.

'As representative of Orb, I strongly feel that this country is a strong one and the people are willing to fight for what we believe in, our strong sense of neutrality. In the past ten months, I have clearly made bad decisions in attempts to save this country's neutrality and although much of this country's agony was brought by the pressure of the international scene, I am not prepared to elude the responsibility I bear. The damage that has been done to this country due to the government's indecisive actions is prominent and without a doubt, I should be ultimately responsible.

'Therefore, I have resigned my position as representative of the Orb Union, effective immediately approved by the parliament. Prime Minister Owayne Raphayil shall continue on with all the duties that have been carried out by the Atthas, including the initiation of a government reformation that has been passed by the congress.

'As my Father Uzumi Nara Attha has always advocated, Orb Union is a country of neutrality and I pledge to you that as long as I have a breath of life in my body, I shall continue in this spirit in hopes of eliminating conflict. I understand that the prolonged problem existing between PLANT and the Earth Alliance can not be solved in the blink of the eye, but I strongly believe that Orb's neutrality will do nothing to harm the currently improving relationship between PLANT and Earth and I believe that with the new government and leader in place, they will continue on the spirit of my Father and the ideals of this country the people believe in.

'In the past months of fighting, I have done my very best to be true to Orb's ideals and I am confident that the world is a safer place today, at this very moment and with the continued efforts of other leaders and Lacus Clyne who will serve as the honorary chairperson of PLANT's senate, I believe the world will be nothing but safer in the future. I hope that this will be my legacy to you, to our country as I leave this office and in serving this country, I have felt a very personal sense of kinship with each and every citizen of Orb. In leaving this office, I do so with this prayer: May Haumea's grace be with you all and in the days to come, and may peace be with each and everyone who seeks peace.

'Good bye, and good luck.'

They were all silent as the reports continue to flood through the screen. Athrun was speechless as he stared at the screen blankly, trying to interpret what he just heard on the news, what he just heard from Cagalli through a screen.

'She really resigned?'

They all turned and saw Shinn standing there with his eyes wide open.

'You saw her?' Athrun demanded.

'She… she was just at the dock, at the memorial half an hour ago.' Shinn said softly, still in awe.

'It's not live, it must have been recorded.' Athrun said, racking his hand through his hair. 'I've got to go talk to her.'

'There's no use.' Kira said quietly, looking at Athrun.

'What?' Athrun frowned.

'You know something Kira?' Lacus asked.

'She left.' Shinn said before Kira could open his mouth. 'She said she was leaving when I saw her.'

Gritting his teeth, Athrun charged up and hauled Shinn by the collar. 'What did you say to her? What?'

'Nothing!' Shinn shouted, trying to prey his grip away from him. 'I didn't say anything! She was the one who said she was leaving! You think my words can drive her away?'

'He's not lying Athrun!' Kira pulled Athrun away, holding him back by the shoulders. 'I talked to Cagalli last night, she told me.'

Athrun struggled away from Kira's grip. 'She told you? What did she tell you? She told you that she was resigning?'

'And that she was going to leave Orb.' Kira said in a bare whisper.

Gritting his teeth, Athrun gripped his fringes so hard he was about to pull his hair out. He started pacing the room. 'No, she can't just… leave. She can't…'

'I thought you went looking for her last night.' Mwu said.

'I did.' Athrun snapped. 'I found her and…'

'She might be at Morgenroete.' Murrue reminded gently. 'I remember Kisaka saying that he was going to meet her there this morning.'

Without second thought, Athrun flew out of the door with Kira following him.

'Calm down Athrun.' Kira said as he steered out onto the road with a sharp turn.

'You knew about this so don't tell me to calm down.' Athrun muttered, adding pressure to the gas.

Kira shut up and ten minutes later, he could barely catch up with Athrun as he ran down the hallway until he reached Akatsuki's hanger where he found Erica and Kisaka sitting at the working station, watching the news.

'Where is she?' Athrun shouted across the hanger.

Turning, they watched Athrun charge forward and to their surprise, she hauled Kisaka by the collar. 'Where is she? Tell me!'

'Athrun!' Kira hissed, trying to restrain him.

'She's gone, she left.' Kisaka said bluntly, looking down at Athrun.

'No…' Athrun's voice trailed as he let go of him and turned to Erica. 'She can't be gone, she can't be.'

'She's leaving Orb Athrun.' Erica said softly.

Gritting his teeth, Athrun turned around abruptly.

'Don't bother finding her.' Kisaka said quickly. 'You won't, even if you hack Orb's database, you won't find her.'

Athrun looked over his shoulder. 'What do you mean?'

Kira widened his eyes. 'She's changing her identity?'

Erica nodded. 'Yes, I've changed her identity already, she's a new person now, her new identity is no longer a citizen of Orb, she no longer holds the name Cagalli Yula Attha. Don't bother finding her through her finances, she's not living on her family's resources anymore, she took her mother's insurance that she left her when she died five years ago.'

'She's cutting everything off?' Athrun asked in a coarse voice. 'Everything?'

'I'm afraid so.' Erica said quietly.

'Why didn't you stop her?' Athrun demanded quietly. 'Why? Why did you let her go? You're the rational one Kisaka, why?'

'She's needs a break Athrun.' Kira put a hand on his shoulder. 'A well deserved break, away from Orb, one more push and she'll fall apart Athrun, you know that better then anyone.'

Feeling himself short of breath, Athrun looked up and squeezed his eyes shut. Gritting his teeth, he suddenly raised both his fists and slammed them onto the work station before him, his whole body trembling as he faced the floor.

'How can you do this to me?' Athrun whispered. 'How could you?'

'Give her some time.' Erica said softly as Athrun looked up. 'You're just going to have to wait.'

'_If you had to, would you wait, like Meyrin?'_

'_I don't think I have to wait anymore Cagalli, I'm back.' _

He was back, and he took it for granted that Cagalli would be there, but she wouldn't be. She left.

'I'm the world's biggest idiot.' Athrun muttered. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Kira. 'Did she…'

Kira sighed and nodded, taking the velvet box out of his pocket. He watched as Athrun reached out a trembling hand and took out from him. 'I'm sorry Athrun.'

Without another word, Athrun turned and left.

**  
End of Chapter 2  
**_Next Update: 1st July, 2006_

A/N: Thank you for the reviews, one in particular made me realize that OOC is, on some levels, a very personal feeling. Anyway, enjoy.


	3. Pushing Through

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter 3: Pushing Through**

_**Sometimes, he'd wish that she was actually dead so he could really get over her. Knowing that she was somewhere beyond his reach was just a torture. **_

_24th, December, C.E. 75 _

_Scandanavia Athletic Training Academy / Kingdom of Scandanavia_

Letting the double door's swing behind him, Orsic Natan crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, wincing at the pounding music that filled the deserted gym. Sighing, he watched as the blonde slim figure before him continued punching the bag hanging from the ceiling mercifully with only wrist guards to protect her hands. Sweat dripped down her fair skin and her loose tank top was already drenched in sweat as she jumped against the beating music and gritted her teeth with every punch she threw, her long waist length hair that was pulled up in a ponytail bouncing up and down behind her.

It still surprised him that she was the minority of students at SATA who wasn't an athlete.

Shaking his head, Orsic walked up to the bag and held it still. When he peeked from behind it, he gasped and dodged the punch that was directed to him.

'What the hell was that?' He cried.

'For sneaking up on me.' Narrowing her eyes, she took a few steps back and without warning, did a full turn with her leg raised, giving the bag a full kick with her calf.

'Now that's not fair Yula.' Orsic grabbed her ankle, preventing her from standing still. 'You had the music on so loud I didn't even want to yell.'

Rolling her eyes, Cagalli twisted her leg, making him loose his grip and snatched her ankle back. 'I had the music on for a reason Orsic.'

'No interruptions, I know.' Orsic rolled his eyes. 'Dude, there's more to life then working out and studying.'

'Like?' Cagalli asked absently as she continued her boxing, adding momentum to her throw punches, sweat dripping down her face.

Exhaling loudly, Orsic went to the counter and without another thought, turned the stereo off.

'What do you think you're doing?' Cagalli asked, stopping.

'Getting you to talk to me.' Orsic said. Turning around, he grunted in surprise when she suddenly lunged forward and wrestled him to the floor. Smirking, he gripped her arms and rolled around, pinning her to the ground. 'You know you're no match for me.'

Glaring up at him, Cagalli tried to free herself from his strong grip. 'Let go of me!'

'Hey, you guys!' Ulrika Keefe barged in but stopped in her tracks at the two entangled figures on the floor. 'Oh, uh… am I interrupting?'

'No, in fact – '

Narrowing her eyes, Cagalli hooked her leg behind his and tugged, making him fall onto her and at the same time, rolled over and raised her arm. Seconds later, her elbow was inches from his nose.

'Woah, that was harsh!' Orsic cried, staring up at her. 'Where in God's name did you learn that?'

Cagalli stared down at him for a while before climbing off him, sitting on the ground. 'You don't want to know, it's just… self-defense.'

'God, I am so glad that you two are not going out yet.' Ulrika muttered, crossing her arms. 'I mean, you guys can seriously kill each other in bed, or worse, tear the house down!'

'Shut up Ulrika.' Cagalli muttered, standing up. 'We're just housemates.'

'Uh, hello, just for the record, I've been trying to get you to go out with me.' Orsic protested.

'And you know it's not going to happen Orsic.' Cagalli sneered. 'Two years, you know that it's been two years already right?'

'Doesn't stop me from trying.' Orsic shook his head.

'What did you want to talk to me about?' Cagalli asked, ripping her wrist-guards off. Walking to the bar, she grabbed her towel and whipped her face.

'To make you go to Sigtuna with us.' Orsic said.

Cagalli rolled her eyes and leaned against the bars, her water bottle in hand. 'I told you guys I'm not going!'

'But Yula!' Ulrika put her hands on her hips. 'It's Christmas, you're in Scandanavia, you _have _to embrace Christmas!'

'I've spent two Decembers here and I have functioned well without embracing this holiday.' Cagalli muttered. Pushing herself from the bars, she grabbed her duffle bag and walked across the gym to exit.

'Yula!' Ulrika ran after her with Orsic. 'Come on, it'll be fun! The whole house is going to Sigtuna, the Christmas village. So you don't believe in Santa Clause, big deal, everyone knows it doesn't exist and – '

Stopping at the changing room, Cagalli whirled around and crossed her arms at Orsic. 'Do you want to see me change?'

Orsic shrugged. 'I wouldn't mind.'

Rolling her eyes, Cagalli swung the door open.

'I'll take care of it.' Ulrika said, then dashed in behind Cagalli. 'Come on, loosen up for once!'

Ignoring Ulrika, Cagalli tossed her bag on the bench and wiped out a big towel. Taking off her loose tank top, she wiped herself and pulled a hoodie over her head before changing into her jeans.

'Yula…' Ulrika whined. 'You could use a little fun, we've busted our asses for the last semester, you deserve it. Christmas is about being with your family and friends! You know not everyone has family and friends after the war, you should feel like, grateful. Gratitude is part of what this holiday is all about!'

'Shouldn't that be thanksgiving?' Cagalli asked bluntly, pulling her waist length hair up in a high ponytail.

Ulrika rolled her eyes. 'It's almost the same thing, why do you think we have the tradition of giving other people presents?'

'To get store credit?' Cagalli tried in a flat tone, wrapping a black headscarf around her head tightly.

'Yula!' Ulrika screeched. 'I'm trying to get you to spend the holidays with us! We're your family! Are you really going to do this to us again?'

Taking a deep breath, Cagalli zipped up her duffle bag and started her way for the door. 'Look, I appreciate you guys wanting to spend Christmas with me and all, I'm not big on holidays, you know that.'

'Don't use that because I'm Jewish excuse on us.' Orsic scowled as they walked out of the changing room. 'I mean, seriously, Hannakah, I didn't see you do anything, I didn't even see a Minoan around the house and Jeryn, well, whatever, she's Jewish and she's going too!'

'That's because her family is Jewish.' Cagalli said as they approached the cafeteria. Taking her card out, she swiped it. 'Double chocolate milkshake please.'

Ulrika's jaw dropped. 'That is no fair, why am I always on diet control?'

The cashier sneered. 'Because you're not controlling yourself outside the academy.'

'Because you're an athlete.' Cagalli muttered, leaning against the counter.

'Still…' Ulrika grumbled under her breath.

'Back to the point.' Orsic cleared his throat. 'Christmas and Scandanavia is like peanut butter and jelly, they're meant to be and as a part of this country, you should embrace this holiday.'

'I let you guys turn the living room into Santa's friggin' village.' Cagalli muttered as the cashier handed her the milkshake.

'Yeah, I think we kind of over did it.' Ulrika nodded her head. 'But that point aside, I don't want the holiday depression syndrome to hit you when the whole house is away for the week and… you know, it's going to be fun, I promise! My Mom makes the best smogasbords and she'll let us pick stuff free from her stall at the Christmas market.'

Whirling around as they stopped at the huge glass sliding doors of the academy's main entrance, Cagalli flashed them a big smile. 'Once again, I appreciate the efforts and your invitation, but as I've repeated endlessly for the past month, I, Yula Caitir, am not a holiday person and all this Christmas fever is not going to melt me, believe me. And I'm not going to kill myself in the house, I've spent two Christmases in there and you haven't seen a corpse lying around when you guys came back. I'll be fine, I just need some alone time and frankly I'm glad that you guys are leaving.'

'Don't you have enough alone time Yula?' Orsic asked, frowning. 'You make yourself a social outcast.'

'Genuine alone time.' Cagalli emphasized. 'Seriously guys, I'll be fine.' Stepping forward, she gave them brief hugs. 'You guys have fun okay? Don't let my absence ruin Christmas for you guys, and watch your diet Ulrika, last I checked you were on the border line.'

Ulrika rolled her eyes. 'Fine, although it's Christmas, I'll do it as my present to you.'

'Yeah right.' Orsic snorted. 'Everyone knows you're a pig Keefe.'

'Um, excuse me?' Ulrika turned to him. 'Last I checked, no one asked for your opinion Natan.'

At that Cagalli laughed. 'I'll see you guys next year.'

'See ya.' Ulrika waved her hand as the glass doors closed behind Cagalli. 'Wouldn't want to be ya.'

Hitting the cold air, Cagalli shivered slightly as she slung her duffle bag over her right shoulder. Hands in her pockets, she strolled down the long wide boulevard until she reached the first major junction. Surrounding her were excited people, awaiting for the biggest holiday of the year in Scanadavia.

It indeed was the biggest holiday, Scandanavians made sure everyone knew.

When she got to the ferry terminal, Cagalli swiped her card and got her ticket, sighing at her luck as she was the last to board the ferry before it departed. As SATA occupied the whole island of Sholmen, ninety percent of the ferry's passengers were SATA students. Most people prefer using the Sholmen bridge, but Cagalli didn't like to and wouldn't unless she really had to or was in a big rush.

Sitting on the deck cross legged, Cagalli leaned back and relaxed, enjoying the scenery before her. She was facing the Scholmen bridge and it was decorated with Christmas lights. With the cars rushing past the lights, it was like the whole bridge was moving.

Christmas… she never really had a big Christmas though her Mother was from Scandanavia.

Leaning her head back, Cagalli closed her eyes and sighed loudly. Indeed, her Mother, not her birth Mother of course, was one of the reasons why she had asked Erica to get her a Scandanavian passport, a Scandanavian citizenship, and a plane ticket to the Kingdom of Scandanavia. Her Mother was the reason she went by the name Yula Caitir for the past two years, trying to start a new life and remotely succeeding.

Wanting to leave Orb was not an impulse, it was an option she had serious considered when Lacus had announced that she would take over as the provisional chair of PLANT's senior council and later the honorary chair. She had definitely decided to step down from the government, but it wasn't until she saw Athrun and Meyrin come out of his dormitory when she was doing rounds at the military base did she decide to leave Orb once and for all.

They looked good together. That was the first impression. Not jealousy, just… self-bitterness. She remembered how she had been by Athrun's side during the first war, and now, she had to face the fact, accept the fact that she wouldn't, couldn't always be there for him and that some day, she'd be replaced.

Replaced. It was a harsh word.

Draining down the last of her double chocolate milk shake, she tossed it into the garbage bin sitting five feet away from her, giving herself a small cheer when she aimed the small hole.

She had learnt to entertain herself with small successes.

Standing up, Cagalli walked forward and leaned against the railing, wisp of escaping hair blowing into her face.

In that year of the second war, she had never felt more like a failure. A failure. She was a political failure, she knew it. She knew she wouldn't have the ability to lead the country like her Father, which was why she left in the very first place when intelligence told her that Orb was developing the G Series on Heliopolis for the Earth Alliance. She was a fighter, she wasn't the type of person to just sit in an office and sign off papers that could turn the whole country upside down. Those tow years after the first war had been like that to her and she was, inside, sick of it.

She was sick of sitting around, she needed something to happen, and that something did happen. The fall of Junius 7 had triggered off a series of events that led to another bloody war and the same thing happened during the last war. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't defend her Father's belief, Orb's belief. She was too weak, too weak to even say no to a marriage she had disgustingly refused from day one.

She was a failure. Even Athrun managed to find the courage and take the road that he knew he would be blamed by Kira and her and even Lacus. Thinking back, she couldn't blame him for making a firm decision and sticking by it. Of course he realized in the end that he trusted the wrong person but in the end, he knew what he was doing, knew what he was going after and most importantly, knew he had the power to do so.

She didn't. She pathetically relied on other people, relied on them, on Archangel to prevent Neo-Genesis from destroying earth. Never in her life had she felt so powerless and out of control. She was waiting to die. She knew it.

Just the thought of that made tears well up and every time, she had to fight them back. Even if they were just tears.

She asked herself if stepping down was the best choice, if leaving was the best choice. It was and for once in her life, Cagalli Yula Attha had done something right for her country and ironically… ironically, it was the worst feeling. She'd push through, she promised herself she'd push through the lonely nights and brutal holidays. And she did.

She had become an expert in pain management, physically and mentally.

Departing the ferry with a handful of the other passengers, Cagalli breathed out the cold air, watching as the white mist floated in front of her. Sighing, she made her way down the dock.

The house she shared with three other friends from the Scandanavian Athlete Training Academy was a walking distance from the dock on the mainland. When she had arrived Scandanavia, she had, without second thought, enrolled into Earth's most prestigious sports training institution. She had always been interested in physical training and with her Mother being one of the top Athletes there, the more reason she had to be here.

She had yet to make it feel completely like home, but it was close enough for now. With her Mother being from Scandanavia, she had always felt that it was a part of her that belonged here and ironically enough, it started off with every Scandanavian's favorite holiday, Christmas.

'Christmas.' Sighing to herself, Cagalli walked through one of the little local Christmas markets quickly. The street was usually deserted until December came and it was turned into a temporary market. It was a pain to have to walk through it every day for a month but she really didn't have a choice and with Ulrika, she was never given a chance to forget about this holiday.

She really liked her housemates, but they could sometimes be really annoying and a pain in the ass. She was just glad that she didn't do any training with them or she'd lose her mind.

Her eyes trained on the exit that was a few meters away from her, Cagalli gritted her teeth and made a move to quicken her steps when she suddenly felt a tug on the hem of her hoodie. Sighing loudly, Cagalli looked down and saw a little boy looking up at her with huge blue eyes, holding up a small bottle.

'Do you want to buy some homemade Gluhwein?' The little boy asked. 'It's for charity.'

'Uh, I – uh, I don't know…' Cagalli's voice trailed. She was this close.

The boy frowned slightly. 'Not even a little bit? It's Christmas! And it's for charity! Have a heart.'

Cagalli was sure that he was just reciting a line. She had heard the same line last year.

Shaking her head, Cagalli knelt down and gave the boy's hair a playful ruffle. He reminded her of Devon. 'For charity. How much?'

'Thirty.' The boy broke into a huge smile.

'Thirty.' Nodding, Cagalli fished into the side pocket of her duffle and handed him a forty dollar bill. 'Keep the change, for charity.'

'Thank you, having a Merry Christmas!' Jumping up, he dashed into the crowd and disappeared into a stall.

Shaking her head to herself, Cagalli stood up and made her way quickly out of the market. A few minutes later, she walked up the porch of the townhouse at the corner of the first junction in the quiet neighbourhood she lived in. Unlocking the door, she quickly turned off the alarm and slammed the door shut. Walking past the living room, she couldn't help but stop and stare at the huge Christmas tree.

'It's like Santa threw up in here.' Cagalli muttered. Leaning against the doorframe, she looked down at the bottle of gluhwein in her hand. Exhaling loudly, she tossed her duffle bag into the living room and kicked off her shoes. She could be a slob for the night, no one would be here, no one would care if she ran around the house naked.

Taking off her hoodie and throwing it onto the couch, Cagalli padded across the carpeted room and lied down, her head below the base of the fresh Christmas tree. She had to admit that the lights were pretty nice.

_'I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas.' _

_'I don't.' _

_'Then… why do you have a miniature Christmas tree on your couch?' _

_'I don't know…' _

_'Cagalli…' _

_'I swear, I don't Athrun, let it be.' _

_'Cagalli!' _

Shaking her head, Cagalli unscrewed the bottle and raised it to her lips, draining the red alcoholic liquid down her throat. It was indeed homemade.

Setting the bottle down on her side, Cagalli stared up at the lights again. Closing her eyes, she couldn't help but smile as a single tear slid down the side of her cheek.

'Merry Christmas Athrun.'

* * *

'Athrun.' Pushing the balcony doors open, Kira walked out into the warm breeze and closed the doors behind him quietly, looking at his best friend's back.

Looking over his shoulder, Athrun smiled, a champagne glass in hand. 'Hey.'

'We lost you after the presents.' Kira said, walking up to him.

'Needed some fresh air.' Athrun said quietly, looking up at the starry sky.

'It's hard to feel Christmassy when it's still twenty something degrees.' Kira commented lightly. 'Let alone no snow.'

'Yeah.' Athrun nodded.' Well, what can say, we're right smack in the middle of the Pacific, blessed with fine whether all year round. Give and take.'

'Right.' Kira nodded. 'People around here still manage to make themselves Christmassy.'

Athrun leaned against the balcony sideways. 'So, I take that Lacus dragged you out to buy that huge Christmas tree again.'

Kira nodded, laughing. 'Like always, like every year.'

Athrun shook his head. 'It's still amazing how Lacus finds the time to come back here every Christmas.'

Kira smiled. 'That's because she misses the kids, she misses Orb.'

Athrun looked down. 'If only Cagalli felt the same.'

Sighing, Kira gave Athrun a pat on the shoulder. 'It's been two years, don't stretch yourself, just… let things take it's natural course.'

Exhaling loudly, Athrun turned and leaned his back against the balcony. 'It's Christmas.'

'It's Christmas.' Kira repeated. 'How long are you staying?'

'A few more days.' Athrun replied, nursing his champagne. 'I've been back for a month already. All my office work is almost finished and I'll have to head back to Aprillius One to make the final preparation and supervise the opening of the Olion Games in July.'

'The Olion Games…' Kira shook his head. 'I can't believe you actually made it happen, after two years… proud of you.'

Athrun smiled. 'I'm proud of myself too, I finally feel a bit useful.'

After the governmental reformation act was passed by the parliament that was initiated by Cagalli before she left, Athrun was appointed as the Ambassador of Orb Union stationed in Aprillius One, which was an unbeatable choice and supported by both the Orb government and the supreme council of Aprillius One. He had at first wanted to reject the offer, but after serious consideration and Lacus' encouragement, he took it and relocated to Aprillius One.

The relocation wasn't easy for him. It was the biggest change yet for him, having to serve his adopted country in his birth country. The first six months was hard too, since both countries were undergoing recovery from the war and as the leader of the Earth Alliance, Orb was the ultimate spokesperson of EA and this made his responsibility as a diplomat even bigger.

He never considered himself a politician, but he found his job much more easier with Lacus' help and position in the supreme council, along with Yzak Jule's influence and former councilmen like Ted Elthman, Yuri Almarfi and Eileen Canavar. There had been hostility and objection towards Athrun's appointment since he was, after all, the son of the late Patrick Zala who was the advocator of an all-Coordinator policy, not to mention the fact that Athrun was the appointed member of FAITH and also had the record of treason in both the first and second war.

To his surprise, he survived his appointment and after careful consideration, had proposed to revive the Olion Games which had stopped two years prior to the Bloody Valentines Day when tension between PLANT and EA had started to intensify. His proposal received wide support among PLANT's supreme council and EA. He was immediately appointed as the Director General of the International Olion Movement Committee and after a year of planning, the 87th Olion Games would due to open in Aprillius One sixth months from now.

'You will come with Lacus in June right?' Athrun asked, draining down the rest of his champagne. As honorary chairlady of PLANT's supreme council, Lacus was no required as often as before now that things have taken a solid ground.

'Yes.' Kira nodded. 'Lacus wants a break and spend time with the kids, you know her first priorities are always the kids here.'

'Are you jealous?' Athrun teased.

Kira laughed. 'A little, sometimes.'

'Well, at least you get to spend Christmas with her.' Athrun said quietly.

'Do you realize that this is the first Christmas you're spending with us after the war?' Kira asked.

Athrun nodded. 'Yeah. I uh, I had to spend my Christmas at Aprillius One last year, so I went to Meyrin's family for dinner. I saw Shinn and Lunamaria too, it was a nice evening we had, better then the year before where I…'

'You spent the whole month looking for Cagalli even when we told you not to.' Kira finished for him, sighing.

Athrun gave himself a bitter laugh. 'Yeah, I came to my senses when New Year came, thanks to your girlfriend slash my ex-fiancée.'

Kira paused before opening his mouth again. 'Do you miss her?'

Athrun sighed. 'It's been two years Kira.'

'Do you hate her?' Kira asked carefully.

'How can I possibly hate her.' Athrun said quietly. 'I just… I just don't know what I am to her anymore. She's left me in the complete dark.' Reaching up one hand unconsciously, he gripped the stone pendent beneath his shirt. 'I do sometimes blame her though.'

Kira smiled. 'I blame her too.'

'Kira, Athrun!' Lacus opened the doors to the balcony. 'Time for Christmas pudding!'

'Coming!' Kira called back.

'I have to go.' Athrun said as they entered the manor.

'So fast?' Lacus frowned and shot a glance at the wall. 'It's only ten.'

Athrun smiled. 'I know, but I still have some business to attend to.'

'On Christmas Day?' Lacus sighed. 'You work too much Athrun. You know, sometimes people need a break and just be with their family and friends. We're your family now, stay.'

Athrun just smiled. 'You know you are my Goddess Wisdom, right?'

Lacus nodded. 'Yes I do, and your Goddess of Wisdom begs you to stay.'

'I'd love to, but I can't Lacus, seriously.' Athrun replied. 'At least I made it to Christmas this year.'

'That is true.' Lacus sighed. 'I guess I shouldn't be asking too much of you.'

'I'll try to drop by before I leave in the weekend, I promise.' Athrun said. Giving her a brief hug, Athrun went to the den to say goodbye to the kids.

'Call me before you leave.' Kira said as he walked him to the doors.

'Yeah, I will.' Smiling, Athrun gave Kira a pat on the shoulder. 'I'll see you later.'

He wasn't the type of person to lie, but in the last two years, he had learnt that sometimes lying could save you a lot of explanation. He didn't have work, he just didn't want to stay in the house with all the merriment, merriment didn't suit him.

He had always been more or less a loner, and silence suited him just fine.

With one hand on the steering wheel, Athrun rested his other arm over the window and cruised down the deserted coastal highway that led to the city center of Onogoro. He always enjoyed these late night cruises, it made him feel calm.

When Athrun's cell phone rang, he couldn't help but frown but answered it, knowing perfectly well that it might be an urgent call from work. He was, after all, technically working twenty four seven.

'Athrun Zala.' Athrun answered shortly.

A familiar female voice laughed. 'It's been two years and you still can't change that blunt answer of yours Athrun.'

Athrun smiled at the voice. 'Meyrin, Merry Christmas.'

'Merry Christmas to you too.' Meyrin responded. 'I take Christmas isn't the same without me.'

'A quieter Christmas.' Athrun said. 'Not that I didn't enjoy having dinner with your family and Lunamaria.'

'My Mom said something was missing during dinner.' Meyrin said. 'She misses having you around, you haven't come by for dinner in a while, six months to be exact.'

'I'm sorry, but I've been pretty busy, with the Olion Games opening in a few months, it's going to be crazy.' Athrun said absently.

'Well, at least come by sometime, you must need some family and friends at PLANT.' Meyrin said. 'That's why you came to Christmas with us last year anyway.'

'Well, I sort of got an invitation.' Athrun reminded.

'Right, you are never really that pro-active when it comes to personal emotions.' Meyrin said quietly.

'I'll see if I can come by after the Olions start, I'll be less busy then.' Athrun said after a short pause.

'Really?' Meyrin's voice lightened up.

'Yes, just, remind me.' Athrun said.

'Then it's a deal, a date.' Meyrin responded.

'Yes…' Athrun sighed.

'Maybe you can come on my granny's birthday, she really misses you' Meyrin said.

'When is it?' Athrun asked, smiling.

'July the seventeenth.' Meyrin said.

'Well… you do realize that that's the day of the closing.' Athrun said dryly.

Meyrin shrugged. 'Come during or something, it's going to be fun. We're going to watch Shinn in his marathon.'

'He hasn't even gone to qualifying.' Athrun muttered.

'Oh he will qualify.' Meyrin said.

Athrun laughed shortly. 'Fine, I'll see what I can do, it's a long way though, we still have six months.'

'You know how busy you can be, it's better that I book you now then later.'

'Sorry.' Athrun's voice trailed. 'I'll be coming back to PLANT in a few days, maybe we can have lunch or something.'

'Great, I'll see you then Athrun.' Meyrin smiled. 'Merry Christmas.'

'Merry Christmas Meyrin.'

Cutting the connection, Athrun found himself stopping at a deserted junction. Ripping the headset off his ear, he tossed it onto the dashboard and exhaled loudly, waiting patiently for the traffic light to turn green. At the corner of his eye, he saw the pedestrian light flashing and at the same time, a little boy running across the long crossing with his Mother chasing after him, giving him an apologetic look. Shaking his head, Athrun just smiled, his eyes trailing to boy. That was when he realized that the boy had a miniature Christmas tree held up high above his head.

_'Then… why do you have a miniature Christmas tree on your couch?' _

_'I don't know…' _

Athrun almost jumped in his seat at the sound of a sharp honk from behind him. Holding his hand up in apology, he turned right before his mind could comprehend instead of going straight which he was suppose to. Before he knew it, he was at the suburbs of Onogoro where the Attha Manor was located.

'ID please.'

'Athrun Zala.'

'Please enter, have a nice evening Mr. Zala.'

Taking a deep breath, Athrun drove into the long boulevard and around the manor until he reached the shed. Parking his car in the driveway, he stepped out and closed the door shut as quietly as possible. When he entered the kitchen through the back doors, he was surprised to find Mana at the stove.

'Athrun-sama.' Mana smiled, bowing her head slightly. 'What brings you here?'

'I uh… I was just in town… and I thought…' Athrun's voice trailed.

Mana sighed. 'Well, I'm taking the liberty to say that you aren't here to find Cagalli-sama.'

'How can I be?' Athruns aid quietly, looking away. 'I know she's not here.'

'It's Christmas, why aren't you with Kira-sama and the others?' Mana asked, still stirring the pot.

'I was there, they had a Christmas party.' Athrun said uncomfortably. 'What uh, what are you doing?'

'Jul skinka and Janssons frestelse.' Mana said shortly. 'I was at the community center, like last year, after Cagalli-sama left. She always loved my smorgasbords dishes, they were recipes passed down by her Mother. I figured I'd let other people have a taste of it, it was so popular that the kids wanted more. I actually made extra but didn't bring it, that's why I'm back.'

'Right…' Athrun nodded his head.

'Do you want some Athrun-sama?' Mana asked, looking over her shoulder. 'I bet you haven't tried it before.'

'Uh, sure.' Athrun stammered. 'A little would be fine, I've had a lot at Kira's.'

Nodding, Mana took out a plate and put some of the ham, meatballs and potatoes onto the smooth surface neatly. 'You need to eat a bit more Athrun-sama, you've been loosing weight for the past two years.'

Athrun sighed heavily. 'Yeah, well.' Walking up to the fridge, he peered in and found a red bottle. 'I see you still make gluhwein.'

'It's a tradition, it's this household's tradition.' Mana said quietly, setting the plate onto the counter. 'Gluhwein was the only thing related to Christmas the master allowed, the Lady, of course, took full advantage.'

'Do you need some help with that?' Athrun asked after pouring himself a small glass. 'I drove, I could…'

Mana shook her head, wrapping the huge tin foil dish. 'I've already called my cab, but thank you.'

'Have a Merry Christmas.' Athrun said as Mana shrugged on her coat.

'You too Athrun-sama.' Giving him one last smile, Mana opened the door and disappeared into the breezy night.

Left alone in the kitchen, Athrun stared down at his plate of food. He wasn't exactly hungry after the big dinner he had at the orphanage, but he wasn't the type to waste food, nor the type to let down someone. Mana hadn't looked this happy since Cagalli left.

'It's Christmas.' Sighing to himself, Athrun took the plate in one hand, the glass of gluhwein in the other and left the kitchen, flipping the lights closed with his elbow on the way. Stepping into the dim foyer, he looked around before stopping at the base of the huge spiral stairs. Taking a deep breath, he walked up the marble stairs one at a time, his feet heavy. When he reached the room at the end of the hallway, he gulped down a lump in his throat before reaching for the knob. Turning it slowly, he pushed open the door silently.

'Athrun!'

Athrun blinked rapidly at the sudden vision of Cagalli sitting on her bed with a laptop perched in front of her, looking up at him with a pen in her mouth, her hair pulled up loosely, wearing an oversized white T-shirt and boxer shorts.

Gritting his teeth, Athrun turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the familiar ache that he felt every time he thought of Cagalli, only this time, it seemed to have worsened ten times.

Taking another deep breath, Athrun walked across the empty room and sat at the desk, putting down his plate and glass. He used to nag Cagalli all the time for not using the table and instead hunching on her bed, she'd always retaliate by saying that she never got enough precious quality time with her bed.

'You know your bed is for sleeping, not for working.' He had muttered.

'I know, but still, it makes my bed feel less neglected.' Cagalli had smirked.

Crossing his legs, Athrun leaned his shoulder against the back of the chair and stared at the empty bed. Despite Cagalli's absence, Mana had made kept it clean and tidy, as if its mistress had never left.

To him, it was more painful. Sometimes, he'd wish that she was actually dead, so that he could really get over her. Knowing that she was somewhere beyond his reach was just a torture.

Lifting the glass to his lips again, Athrun stared at the miniature Christmas tree Mana had set up on the bedside table. It started blinking a few moments ago with Cagalli's favorite Christmas lights. She'd always decorate it herself after her Mother died. He remembered walking into her room once, seeing the Christmas tree lying on the sofa.

'I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas.' Athrun had commented with his eyebrows raised.

Cagalli had looked at him briefly before turning away. 'I don't.'

'Then… why do you have a miniature Christmas tree on your couch?' Athrun muttered.

Cagalli shrugged. 'I don't know…'

Athrun narrowed his eyes. 'Cagalli…'

'I swear, I don't Athrun! Let it be!' Cagalli rolled her eyes and got off the bed, the very same bed he was staring at right now.

'Cagalli!' Athrun crossed his arms. 'What is going on?'

'Gods!' Cagalli threw her arms up in the air. 'Lighten up Athrun! It's Christmas!'

Athrun narrowed his eyes. 'I thought you were Jewish.'

'I am.' Cagalli sighed and sat herself on the couch. 'It's just… my Mom's from Scandanavia and…'

'Your Mom?' Athrun sat down on the bed. 'You never mentioned your Mom before.'

Cagalli shot a glance at him. 'It's because she died, five years ago, a year before the Heliopolis raid.'

'And you had no idea…' Athrun's voice trailed.

'She has blonde hair.' Cagalli said softly. 'I thought I inherited it from her.'

Crossing his legs, Athrun leaned against the headboard. 'Tell me about her.'

'What?' Cagalli blinked. 'Why?'

Athrun shrugged. 'Because, I want to know more about you. Don't you want me to?'

Cagalli stared at him for the longest moment before sighing. Lifting the Christmas tree up, she set it down on her lap and fiddled with the fake branches. 'My Mom… she's the most beautiful woman in the world.' Looking up, she gave Athrun a small smile. 'She smiles all the time, she made my Father happy, she made this household happy. She's Scandanavian so Christmas was like bigger then her birthday. My Father's Jewish, as you know, and we never celebrated Christmas. My Mom had pact with him and uh… we'd get a little Christmas tree and make gluhwein. When I came to the family, we had a small smorgsbond every Christmas, it made my Mom so happy and it made my Father happy too although he hated Christmas.'

'So you like Christmas?' Athrun asked.

'Are you kidding me?' Cagalli said. 'Ironically, it was our private festival.'

Nodding, Athrun put his arms behind his head, watching as Cagalli started wrapping the Christmas lights around the tree. 'So how did they meet?'

'My Mom and Father?' Cagalli asked, looking at him briefly. 'My Mom's actually the royal kinsman of Scandanavia. They met when my Father was an exchange intern there. He was already working in the government actually, but had an opportunity to exchange. Anyway, they ended up marrying before my Father's internship ended and my Mom decided to come to Orb with him. There was opposition, but my granny, who was the biggest supporter, made sure that my Mom would be a happy person. She made the choice, and even before my Mom died in the hospital, she made it clear that she was the happiest woman in the whole world.'

Athrun could only smile. 'I had no idea.'

'And you know what's more unbelievable?' Cagalli asked, smirking.

'What?' Athrun raised his eyebrows.

'That you're the only one I've talked to about my Mom, not even Kira knows.' Cagalli said, smiling.

Athrun could only smile back. 'I guess I'm the lucky one.'

'I guess you are…' Cagalli's voice trailed.

Sitting up from the bed, Athrun sat down on the couch beside Cagalli and with slight hesitation, wrapped one arm around her shoulders. 'So… you have any plans for Christmas?'

Cagalli had paused before leaning her head on his shoulder slowly. 'Not that I know of at this point.'

'So… you want to do something this Christmas.' Athrun suggested.

'Maybe…' Closing her eyes, Cagalli smiled. 'What do you have in mind?'

Opening his own eyes, Athrun found himself lying on the very same bed, staring at the ceiling of Cagalli's room. Turning his head, he saw that the clock read eleven fifty nine. One more minutes before Christmas Day ended. Smiling, Athrun felt his heart aching as he struggled to keep his cool. Looking away, he stared at the ceiling again briefly before closing his eyes.

It was painful without her, but he was going to push through.

'Merry Christmas Cagalli.'

**End of ****Chapter 3  
**_Next Update: 14th July, 2006_


	4. Looking Back

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter**** 4: Looking Back**

_**'I hate everything here, I hate the fact that wherever I go, I'm reminded of the past I've been running away from for the last two years!'**_

'Oh my God! Oh my God!' Flying down the hallway, Jeryn Kalik had her arm in the air as she rushed towards Orsic who was standing in front of the huge panel that looked into the dark Cruzball stimulator. 'You will not believe it!'

'Believe what?' Orsic asked flatly, still staring into the stimulator.

'I got into the qualifying round!' Jeryn cried, throwing her hands into the air. 'Can you believe it? I'm going to the Olion Games! The Olion Games baby!'

'Yeah, great.' Orsic muttered absently.

'Hey!' Jeryn gave him a big slap on the back. 'Just because you got into the qualifying without actually having to compete doesn't mean I'm no better than you! Give me some enthusiasm here man! Where's the energy? Give me some energy!'

'Let me partner…' another voice slurred from behind Jeryn. 'Someone you like is in the stimulator.'

At that, Orsic turned and glared at his cruzeball partner Alix Hodgekins. 'Shut up.'

Alix rolled his eyes. 'Oh come on, everyone knows that you like Yula, everyone except probably Yula. I doubt that though dude, she's smart, she's probably playing dumb.'

'One more word and I'm gong to change partners.' Orsic threatened before turning back to the panel, just in time to catch Cagalli scoring a bull's eye.

'Wait a second.' Alix's blue eyes narrowed slightly.

'What?' Jeryn looked back and fourth in confusion and watched as Alix faced the panel completely.

'Oh yeah.' Orsic muttered.

'It can't be!' Alix's eyes widened. 'She's using our program!'

'And you know what's even more scary?' Orsic sneered, turning to Alix. 'She's beating our program.'

Alix sighed. 'I don't understand, why isn't she in the Athlete's program?'

'Oh, you think I don't want to know?' Orsic muttered. 'You think people want to see her bury this talent in sports?'

'Well, she is a very good sports physician.' Jeryn argued. 'In fact, rumors say that she's going to be the Olion team intern physician.'

'You ever wonder why she always has a cap or headscarf?' Alix asked, turning his back to the glass panel. 'I mean, I always imagine her being a hot chick, but uh, I also fear she's actually bald on the top of her head.'

'Pervert.' Jeryn muttered. 'And she's not bald on the top of her head.'

'Hey!' Orsic held his hand up when the doors slid open with Cagalli stepping out, a towel wrapped around her neck.

'What are you guy's doing here?' Cagalli asked, whipping her face.

'You got some speed and power there dude.' Alix shook his head. 'You can easily beat anyone on the girl's cruzball team and qualify. Why… just why are you not in the athletics division? We can use one or two more golds in the Olion Games.'

Rolling her eyes, Cagalli turned around and headed down the hallway with the three following her. 'I get that you three have qualified?'

'Oh yeah.' Jeryn nodded with a big smile on her face. 'If I win, I'm going to be rich and famous and be the heroine.'

'Yeah, you barely made it.' Alix sneered. 'You do know you were almost listed as a backup right?'

'Okay, did I hurt you in some way?' Jeryn demanded, grabbing his shoulder. 'Why do you always have to diss me?'

'Because you're an airhead?' Alix suggested in a taunting voice.

'Okay, that was just mean.' Orsic laughed.

'Hey, if I'm not mean I'm not me.' Jeryn sneered, giving Orsic a high five.

'Yula!' Jeryn cried.

'Stop it!' Cagalli suddenly turned around, making the group stop in their tracks. 'Why do you guys have to argue all the time? For once, can I have a little peace and quiet around you guys?'

'And for once will you open up to us?' Orsic suggested. 'It has been two years. You do know that we've been roommates for two years right?'

'Yeah.' Alix reached out one hand and fiddled with the rim of her headscarf. 'Are you like bald at the top or something?'

Narrowing her eyes, Cagalli grabbed Alix's wrist and gave it a hard squeeze, making him yelp in pain. 'Don't tempt me.'

'Okay, you really should change divisions.' Alix muttered, snatching his hand away. 'And ouch!'

Cagalli sighed just as the elevator doors behind her opened. Stepping in, she quickly held her hand out when the trio followed her. 'What do you think you're doing?'

'We're with you.' Jeryn said.

Cagalli crossed her arms. 'Where? This is the restricted elevator.'

'Oh yeah.' Alix nodded, then paused. 'Then why are you in it?'

Cagalli flashed her student card out and swiped it through the indicator. 'Because I've been summoned.'

'Ooo…' Alix muttered.

Cagalli shook her head. 'Congratulations on qualifying, and now will you excuse me, I'm almost late.' With that, she closed the elevator doors before the three could make another noise.

Leaning against the wall of the elevator, Cagalli shook her head and sighed heavily. Sticking her index finger under her headscarf, she scratched her forehead in frustration..

'Why is running away so frustrating?' Cagalli muttered, grabbing at the huge bun at the back of her head. When the elevator doors opened, she sighed heavily and pushed herself from the walls and trudged down the hallway until she saw the double doors that were labeled 'Armon Matope – Sports Director'.

'Come in.' Cagalli heard a deep voice call from the other side of the door.

'You wanted to see me Mr. Matope?' Cagalli asked, stepping into Matope's huge office.

'Ah yes, of course.' Taking off his bifocals, Matope smiled up at her. 'Have a seat Yula.'

'Yeah, have a seat Yula.' Another voice snarled. Blinking, Cagalli watched as the chair facing her turned, revealing a woman in her early thirties with orange eyes that were identical to Cagalli's.

'Why Ms Quint, how nice to see you.' Cagalli muttered, flashing her a big smile before sitting down on the empty chair beside her.

'Well, I get to the point straight.' Matope said, leaning back. 'Yula, you are an exceptional student of sports medicine and from the information that I have gathered, you are extremely trusted by our athletes.'

Cagalli shrugged. 'Well, I do my job and I do it well. I'm on scholarship, I'm a poor kid and I need it.'

'Because of this exceptional talent you have,' Matope continued, 'I have put on the Team Scandanavia list for the upcoming Olion game.'

At that, Cagalli couldn't help but widen her eyes. 'What?'

Matope nodded. 'Yes.'

Gritting her teeth, Cagalli sprang up. 'How could you? I don't have a full medical license yet!'

'You will be listed as intern.' Renya said quietly, looking up at her. 'A much needed intern since we are an educational institution and the Olion committee has already approved it. In fact, a lot of other teams have registered an intern as well. It's a great opportunity to gain experience.'

'No.' Cagalli shook her head.

Matope raised his eyebrows at that. 'No? Do you know what you're saying? Do you know that this is an opportunity of a lifetime and if you don't do it, tones of people out there are waiting for this chance to come.'

'Then pick them!" Cagalli snapped. 'I'm not going, I'm not going to Aprillius One.'

'I'm afraid you don't have a choice Yula.' Matope said, narrowing his eyes.

'What do you mean?' Cagalli demanded.

'If you refuse, the academy reserves the right to withdraw your scholarship completely.' Matope said flatly.

'What?' Cagalli cried. 'You can't do that! How could you do that?'

'She'll go.' Renya said quickly, standing up. 'I'll make her Armor, she is, after all, my pupil.'

'Of course.' Matope said after a pause. 'We will head for Aprillius One in April, the details will be sent to you soon through Professor Quint.'

Cagalli shook her head. 'There's no way I'm going to – '

'Let's go!' Renya interrupted, giving Matope a smile. 'I'll take care of her.'

'You better.' Matope muttered, eyeing Cagalli. 'It's a one in a life time opportunity, it's an honor, embrace it.'

'I can't believe you!' Cagalli cried as Renya pulled her out of Matope's office. 'What the hell was that?'

Ignoring her, Renya dragged her down the deserted hallway and pushed her into a conference room. Slamming the door shut, she gritted her teeth and didn't even bother to turn on the lights, the rich sunset rays shining through the blinds. Turning around, she found herself staring into angry orange eyes that were often seen in herself during the war.

'What?' Cagalli spat. 'They can't do this, no way will I let them force me by taking away my scholarship!'

'You're going.' Renya said in a dangerously quiet voice. 'Cagalli Yula Attha is going to leave this god damn friggin' place and face her past.'

Starring into Renya's eyes briefly, Cagalli threw her hands up in the hair and gripped at the headscarf on her head, ripping it off. 'You were the one who suggested that they put me on the intern list.'

Renya nodded. 'Yes.'

Putting both hands on the shiny conference table, Cagalli took a deep breath. 'Why? Is it not enough that I left everything behind, my life, my family, my country to forget about him, to forget about the past… why are you making me do this Renya?'

Sighing loudly, Renya took her glasses off and sat on the armrest of the chair. 'It's been two years, two years Cagalli. Are you honestly telling me that running away has worked for you?'

'I – '

'No it hasn't.' Renya interrupted sharply. 'I understood your pain and your past and the pressure you've been put into. When you came to me two years ago telling me that you were my sister's birth daughter and my best friend's adopted child, I was more than happy but at the same time, my heart was aching for you. You dragged yourself around like a rag doll, not wanting anything, not wanting anyone… you were not the Cagalli Yula Attha I knew from television, you were the not leader of a Nation that had to go through the painful process of growing up during the war. You were the result of constantly blaming yourself for not doing better. I gave you a chance, you took it, you did well here. I thought you'd get another life, away from Orb, I thought you succeeded but I was wrong. If you had, then you would have agreed with Matope right off.'

'I have another life now.' Cagalli said through gritted teeth. 'I have another life away from Orb, away from Cagalli Yula Attha's past.'

Renya shook her head. 'Screw you Cagalli, oh no, wait, Yula Caitir. If you've built yourself another you then you wouldn't be living like a corpse now! Face it! If you don't go to Aprillius One and face your past, never are you going to know if you have indeed made a new life away from the past you've been running away from for the last two years!'

Taking a deep breath, Cagalli shook her head. 'I'm scared Renya, I don't know if I can…'

'You've got to take chances Cagalli.' Renya said quietly. 'You have to realize that nothing is for certain, but either way, you've got to face them.'

'What if I can't?' Cagalli whispered. 'What if I fail? I'm too weak now I – I don't know if I can stand another hit, another blow.'

Giving her a small smile, Renya walked up to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. 'If you get shot down, you attend your wounds, wrap em' up and let them heal over time again.' Sighing, Renya ran one hand through Cagalli's soft blonde hair that had grown past her mid back over the past two years. 'You'll just have to keep trying and eventually, you'll get glued back together.'

'Really?' Cagalli whispered, biting her lower lip.

'Yeah…' Renya whispered back. 'And don't forget, you're cool Aunt Renya's going to be there too.'

Raising her eyebrows, Cagalli pulled back. 'Cool Aunt Renya? Seriously?'

'Hey!' Renya put her hands on her hips. 'I'm not that old. You're birth Mom Via was ten years older than me.'

Cagalli laughed shortly and sighed. 'If you see Kira, will you…'

Renya shrugged. 'I don't know, he seems like a moody fellow though.'

Cagalli couldn't help but laugh. 'Yeah, he was… moodier then him.'

Looking at Cagalli, Renya threw one arm around her shoulders. 'Come on, today, we celebrate our future trip to Aprillius One eh?'

Cagalli couldn't help but give out a snort of laughter. 'On some levels, you are my cool aunt Renya.'

Renya winked. 'You see? Oh by the way, those yahoos you call roommates came to me again for the cabin. Are you ever going to tell them that it's actually yours from your Mom?'

Shaking her head, Cagalli let her aunt lead her out of the conference room, knowing that in two months, she'd be stepping on a shuttle and head to Aprillius One where all media will put focus on the Olion Games and it's initiator Athrun Zala.

* * *

'Good morning everyone, this is Eneta Toulon and welcome back to APN Specials. The most anticipated event of the years is probably the revival of the Olion Games since C.E. 68. Tonight, we have invited the Directing chairman and initiator of the Olion Games to talk to us about this event and why he had insisted on reviving the games. Please welcome Mr. Athrun Zala, also a war veteran of the previous two wars and the son of the late chairman Patrick Zala.' 

Sitting on the comfortable white sofa with his legs crossed elegantly, Athrun gave Eneta a polite smile. 'Thank you very much for inviting me.'

'Thank you for taking your time.' Eneta smiled. 'With the Olion Games opening in four days, you must have a lot on hands.'

'Well, planning's have started long ago and everything is well rehearsed for the opening ceremony.' Athrun replied. 'Our biggest issue now is not the programs itself, but security.'

Eneta nodded. 'So, tell us about the Olion Games. The last one I believe was twelve years ago, C.E. 76.'

Athrun smiled. 'It's been some time and surprisingly, no one ever thought of reviving the Olion Games after the first war.'

'Why were you so keen on doing so then Mr. Zala?'

Athrun sighed lightly. 'I used to be a huge Olion fan, especially the track and field events. I was never an athlete but former ZAFT training has done me good. I remember it was the four months after the agreement was signed and I was appointed the ambassador of Orb in Aprillius One. I was flipping through the channels in my hotel room in Aprillius One, wandering what I could do as an ambassador. I knew achieving peace was my ultimate goal, but how was the tricky question. That was when I saw this old documentary about the Olion Games history.' Athrun paused briefly. 'It was the C.E. 36 games and it was the marathon. This athlete was in the lead the whole time and at the last check point, two kilometers away from the finishing line, this crazy man comes out from the crowd and pushes him off the track. How absurd. Of course the athletes from the back caught up and this athlete finished third.'

Eneta nodded, willing for Athrun to continue.

'The presentation ceremony was at the closing ceremony.' Athrun said. 'He held no grudge and even kissed his bronze medal. He looked happier than the guy who came first. He said later that it wasn't about winning, it was about reaching the finishing line and knowing that he had done his very best and all his training had paid off. He didn't care about wining and he was grateful. I was soldier and I knew that in battles you aimed to win, it wasn't about sportsmanship, there was no sportsmanship. It hit me how precious that kind of spirit was and it was lost ever since the war…'

'And you want to revive it through the Olion Games.' Eneta finished for him.

Athrun nodded. 'In a way, yes, and in a way, building relationships through friendly competition between regions and nations has proved in the past to have worked, we just never had the chance nor ever thought of doing so in the past.'

'Very insightful indeed Mr. Zala, it's really hard to believe that you are just twenty.' Eneta said.

'Well…' Athrun's voice trailed. 'It's a weird thing, sometimes I wish I could actually act like a twenty year old and not have to grow up so fast, on the other hand, I treasure my experience the wars gave me.'

'I'm sure that goes for all who have participated in the war.' Eneta said. 'You mentioned about security, do you expect anything happening?'

Athrun shrugged. 'You never know, I mean, it is probably the first international event that will be executed on such a large scale involving so many people from different backgrounds with different ideals.'

'Do you expect any terrorist attack attempts?' Eneta asked.

Athrun shook his head. 'I personally don't think it will happen though I doubt terrorist groups not wanting too. However, I have appointed one of my former comrades during my ZAFT days and I believe he is the best of the best and is most suitable and capable of protecting the Games.'

'About Lacus Clyne, she will be the special guest performing in the opening ceremony, correct?'

Athrun nodded. 'Of course, she is, after all, the modern symbol of peace.'

'Please don't mind me asking some questions that are slightly personal oriented.' Eneta said carefully.

Athrun shook his head. 'Go for it.'

Eneta nodded, scanning the notepad on her lap briefly. 'It's a known fact that you and Miss Clyne were engaged, at the age of fourteen, correct?'

Athrun nodded. 'Yes, that is correct, our Fathers Siegal Clyne and Patrick Zala arranged it for us.'

'Was it a pure parent decision?' Eneta asked. 'Please don't mind me saying this, but did you two have any affection towards each other during your two year engagement and now that everything is in relative peace and your Father has passed away, are you two together at last? We do know that you spend half your time at Orb where Clyne currently resides.'

Looking up, Athrun paused briefly. 'Lacus is a very special person to me, she's a very special person to everyone in PLANT, I'm sure no one will deny that, even after her apparently betrayal four years ago when my Father was still alive. I don't know, it's possible that I really liked her back then, who wouldn't? Lacus Clyne was everyone's dream girl, unbelievably beautiful, has the voice of a nightingale. She's just… everyone's dream and probably just a dream to me.' Shifting, Athrun leaned forward. 'You want to know a secret?'

'What?' Eneta asked eagerly.

Athrun gave out a short laugh and reached for the cup of tea on the elegant white coffee table in front of him. 'When I first met Lacus, I blushed like an idiot. I really didn't expect much from our first meeting, after all, we were just two people who've never met each other but seemingly bound for life. Imagine my surprise when she said "Athrun has blue hair, our children are going to have purple hair then, right?"'

At that, Eneta laughed. 'Really?'

Athrun nodded. 'She was so innocent back then, like a blank piece of paper. She looked fragile too, always talking softly, great with kids, very polite, graceful, elegant… everything a man could dream of in a woman, including me. Imagine the shock I took when I knew she was the commander of Eternal back then. She's extraordinary woman, she possesses the mental strength greater than any soldier out there fighting for their life. She's collected even gun point, my gun point.'

Eneta looked at Athrun. 'But…'

Athrun laughed softly. 'Things change. To her, I guess it's more of admiration now than affection. She knocked a lot sense into me when I was in despair, when I didn't know what to do. She'll always be my friend and will always have my blessing. In a way, she calms me down a lot, makes me think, makes me collect myself, even now.'

'It does seem like a very intimate yet innocent relationship between you two.' Eneta smiled. 'Is there anyone else then?'

Athrun looked blankly at Eneta, blonde hair and sharp orange eyes flashing through his mind. After a long pause, Athrun managed a smile and shook his head. 'No, unfortunately.'

'Unfortunate for you, but fortunate for a lot of hopeful souls out there.' Eneta said lightly. 'Okay, another question.'

'Please.'

Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, Dearka Elthman couldn't help but yawn loudly as the interview drowned on. He was about to fall asleep when he suddenly heard clapping. His eyes flying open, he watched as Athrun and Eneta stood up and shook hands. Rolling his eyes, he pushed himself from the wall as Athrun walked up to him with a bunch of people trailing him.

'Thank you so much, this program will be aired in two days.' Eneta said, a big smile on her face.

'And the unedited copy…' Athrun's voice trailed.

'It will be sent to your office and soon as possible.' The producer said quickly, a handkerchief in his hand.

'Excellent.' Giving the crew one last nod, he turned and walked past Dearka, who gave them a curt nod before following him. They stood in front of the elevator in silence and stepped in quickly, letting the doors close behind them.

Once safely inside the lift, Athrun sighed and pulled at his tie.

'Yeah.' Dearka snorted. 'That was one hell of an interview.'

'I don't do a lot of those, whatever.' Athrun muttered.

'Why do I get stuck with you?' Dearka muttered, gritting his teeth.

Athrun eyed Dearka. 'Because you're in Yzak's team, that's why.'

Dearka made a face. 'You are total liar Athrun Zala.'

Athrun raised his eyebrows. 'How so?'

Dearka held his hands up. 'It does seem like a very intimate yet innocent relation between you two. Is there anyone else then?' he lowered his voice. 'No, unfortunately.'

Narrowing his eyes, Athrun turned his back towards him. 'Leave me alone.'

Crossing his arms, Dearka leaned back against the wall of the elevator. 'Is there really no one now?'

Athrun paused and watched as the elevator doors opened. He stood there for a split second, as if contemplating an answer before opening his mouth.

'Just leave me alone.'

* * *

Slapping a towel across her shoulder, Ulkrika squirted water all over her face as the doors to the lounge slid open. Blinking, she saw a figure with long blonde hair lying on the couch. 

'Yula?' Walking up, Ulkrika gave Cagalli's stiff figure a poke on the shoulder. 'You okay?' Looking up, she cocked her head at the TV. 'Is that Athrun Zala? Wow, he's really young.'

'Yeah.' Sighing, Cagalli rubbed her left eye. Sitting up, she twisted her hair in a loose bun and put on her cap. Reaching for her glasses she had set down on the coffee table, she put them on carefully.

Watching Cagalli, Ulrika couldn't help but roll her eyes. 'What is it with those ridiculous hats and pulling your hair up and all that crap? Sometimes I wonder if you really need glasses, it makes you look so nerdy.'

'Thanks.' Cagalli said. Looking up, she stared at Athrun on the screen.

'Wow, he's cute.' Ulrika said, leaning over the sofa. 'It's a shame he and Lacus Clyne didn't get married. With their genes, their kids are so going to get laid…'

Looking over her shoulder, Cagalli raised her eyebrows. 'That's an interesting theory.'

'But seriously.' Ulrika sat down. 'Look at them, they just look good together, it's a shame really. They're smart too, and have a very successful career, plus, Lacus Clyne is just beautiful, flawless.'

'Do you like her?' Cagalli muttered, glaring at Ulrika.

Shrugging, Ulrika eyed Cagalli. 'If I were a guy I would.'

Rolling her eyes, Cagalli sat up and stalked out of the lounge with Ulrika following her.

'What is it with you?' Ulrika asked. 'I've barely seen you smile since we got here two months ago.'

'I'm just under a lot of stress taking care of you yahoos.' Cagalli muttered.

Ulrika sighed. 'Yeah right. What is wrong with you?

Stopping in her tracks, Cagalli turned around abruptly and ripped off her glasses. 'Do you honestly not think I look like someone?'

Ulrika's eyebrows furrowed. 'Who could you look like? You look like Yula Caitir, who else could you look like?'

Cagalli narrowed her eyes under the cap. 'Really? You don't think I look like a certain someone who was on television a lot during the last war?'

Ulrika cocked her head and was about to say something when someone suddenly called her name. Looking up, her face lit up. 'Asuka!'

At the name, Cagalli's eyes widened and she scrambled with her glasses. Pulling the cap further down, she turned, gulping as Shinn came down the hallway.

'Please, call me Shinn.' Shinn smirked and cocked his head. 'Who's this? I've never seen her before.'

Grinning, Ulrika wrapped one arm around Cagalli's shoulders. 'This is my bud, Yula Caitir, our sports physician intern.'

Nodding, Shinn held out one hand. 'Nice to meet you Miss Caitir.'

Lowering her head, Cagalli ignored his outstretched hand and kept her mouth shut.

'Don't mind her.' Ulrika said. 'She's a little compulsive when it comes to meeting strangers.'

'I'm sure she is.' Shinn said, his eyebrows furrowed as he lowered his head slightly, trying to catch a good glimpse of her face. 'Have I seen you somewhere before?'

Cagalli shook her head, lowering her voice. 'I don't think so.'

Shinn nodded and turned to Ulrika. 'How's it going? Ready for Saturday's big opening?'

'I'm ready dude.' Ulrika said. 'Second day man.' She turned to Cagalli. 'We met during one of our morning runs, Shinn's in the marathon.'

Cagalli nodded. 'Good for him.'

'Well, hope I'll see you during the opening then.' Eyeing Cagalli, Shinn gave them a wave and headed down the hallway.

'You could be a little more open.' Ulrika muttered.

'I'm compulsive around strangers.' Cagalli sneered, looking up at Ulkrika.

'I don't get you gal.' Ulrika sighed. 'Don't think I ever will.'

'I'd make that conclusion if I were you.' Cagalli muttered.

'Hey, where are you going?' Ulrika asked, grabbing Cagalli's arm.

'I still have some reports to finish.' Cagalli said.

'Oh no you are not.' Ulrika said, dragging her down the hall. 'We're going grocery shopping with Alix and Orsic.'

'What?' Cagalli's eyebrows furrowed. 'You do know all of you have diet control now.'

'I know.' Ulrika gave Cagalli a sweet smile. 'That's why our diet petrol has to come and check out what we buy.'

'Yeah, nice excuse.' Cagalli muttered.

'Oh, so you really won't care if I buy a big fat chocolate bar?' Ulrika asked smugly.

Cagalli exhaled loudly. 'You guys will never let me rest in peace and quiet will you?'

Ulrika shrugged. 'You need to get out of your shell gal.'

'Right.' Cagalli muttered, pulling her cap down again.

For the first time since they arrived Aprillius One, Cagalli was dragged out of the Athletes village by the three to the city center where people actually hung out, a place Cagalli had been avoiding for the past two months. She didn't want to see anyone, just wanted to do her job, survive the next four weeks as an invisible person and leave as soon as possible. She didn't want anything to do with Aprillius One, of PLANT. Most importantly…

'She's just beautiful…' Alix sighed as they looked up at the huge screen. They were just passing Lolklore square where people were gathered.

'Why are there so many people over there?' Ulrika asked, motioning her head towards the crowd.

'Lacus Clyne is giving a speech here today with Athrun Zala.' Orsic rolled his eyes. 'That's why we're here in the first place.'

'What?' Cagalli grabbed Orsic's arm. 'You said nothing about watching a speech by Lacus Clyne.'

'Hey, don't be so touchy, so we forgot…' Alix rolled his eyes. 'Come on Caitir, don't be so uptight.'

Gritting her teeth, Cagalli turned on her heal. 'I'm getting out of here.'

'Hey! Wait.' Rushing forward, Orsic grabbed Cagalli by the arm and turned her around. 'What is wrong with you Yula? Two whole months you've been nothing but cold and distant towards your friends and the other people on the team, you're making us very uneasy and you are making your friends worry! You won't get out of the village, you hide in your room whenever you can, you don't come with us to the city… what is wrong with you?'

'Let go.' Cagalli whispered.

Orsic was about to open his mouth again the crowd afar erupted in an applause. At that, Cagalli flung his arm away, almost hitting him in the face as he backed off a few steps.

'It's none of you're business!' Cagalli shouted over the noise as Orsic stared at her. 'It's none of your business but I"ll tell you why, I'll tell you why I hate this place so much, why I want to leave, why I just want all this to be over with! I hate seeing that woman on the screen! I hate seeing Lacus Clyne's face wherever I go! And I hate seeing Athrun Zala whenever I turn on the fucking TV!' Taking a step back, Cagalli glared at Orsic's bewildered face, her eyes watery. 'I hate everything here, I hate the fact that wherever I go, I'm reminded of the past I've been running away from for the last two years!'

Closing her eyes, Cagalli bit her lip, trying to calm herself down over the noise. When she looked up again, she saw Orsic staring at her. Just staring at her.

He was trying to piece her out, trying to match her with someone he had seen before on TV during the bloody war.

'Help!'

Gulping down a lump in her throat, Cagalli looked past Orsic and saw Ulrika and Alix rush towards them.

'What's wrong?' Orsic asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

'Someone's gone into an epileptic fit!' Ulrika cried, pulling Cagalli forward. 'You've got to help him.'

'What?' Cagalli tried to pull back as Alix and Ulrika dragged her towards the crowd. 'I'm not doctor!'

'Well I'm thinking you're more of a doctor than all of us here since you are an intern!' Alix snapped.

Cagalli couldn't help but protest as she was pushed through the crowd and found a man in his mid-thirties lying on the ground thrashing.

'Oh God what happened?' Cagalli demanded.

'I – I don't know, he just…' the lady who was with him stepped back, her hand over her mouth.

'Give me something soft!' Cagalli shouted. Turning around, she pointed at a man who had a thick coat on. Rushing towards him, she made him take it off. Oblivious of the surrounding crowd, she yelled for Alix. 'Come over here and grab his legs!'

Reacting quickly, Alix slide forward. 'What do you want me to do?'

'We need to roll him over.' Cagalli said while folding the coat and sliding it under his head. 'If discharge comes out of his mouth, let it drip. Are you ready?'

Nodding, Alix rolled the man over at Cagalli's count of three. 'Dude, he's still…'

'It's already been three minutes.' Cagalli muttered, turning around. 'Has anyone called the paramedics?'

'They have Cagalli.'

'Good.' Turning back, Cagalli couldn't help but grit her teeth. She gasped when the man's arm suddenly swung forward, knocking her glasses and hat over, letting her long golden locks flow over her shoulders.

'You okay dude?' Alix asked.

'Yeah.' Cagalli muttered, rubbing her red face briefly. She looked up at the sound of an ambulance.

'How are we doing here?' A paramedic asked with his team carrying a stretcher.

'Seizure.' Cagalli said breathlessly, still holding onto the man's shoulder. 'My guess epilepsy, regurgitation.'

'You a doctor?' the paramedic asked.

'An intern.' Cagalli said.

The paramedic shrugged. 'Good enough, we'll take it from here.'

Letting the team of paramedics take over, Cagalli took a deep breath and let it go. Reaching one hand over her head, she widened her eyes as she felt for her hat and then touched her face, realizing that her glasses were gone. 'What the hell?'

'You got great hair, why hide it?' Alix asked, handing her the cap and glasses that were tossed on the ground a few moments ago.

'Mind your own business.' Cagalli said. Snatching the hat from a smirking Alix, she was about it pull it on when a voice made her freeze in her tracks.

'It's you! You are Cagalli! Cagalli Yula Attha!'

**  
End of ****Chapter 4  
**_Next Update: __12th August, 2006_

**A/N:** Very very sorry for the late update, I mixed up the updates with 'Mr. and Mrs. Jule' which will be updated, by the way, this coming Friday. If you've been kind of following my fanfics on Gundam Seed, I'm happy to announce that two more fanfictions will be launched after 'Breaking Point' ends in late October 2006. They're both side stories of 'Breaking Point' by the name 'Fools in Love' and 'When Parallels Meet'. For brief synopsis, you can go to my authors page.

On another note, I'm in the process of planning a sequel for 'Breaking Point', what kind of a sequel? It will be announced when 'Breaking Point' ends since I don't want to reveal any details of the story right now. 'Breaking Point' has 9 chapters by the way, so you can do the math.

Enjoy.


	5. Violent Revelations

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter**** 5: Violent Revelations**

**_'See you guys laughing and talking and living like normal people… you know I can't even remember the last time I actually felt happy, I actually laughed…'_**

'How long has it been since Lacus Clyne has come to Aprillius One?' Yzak Jule asked, crossing his arms.

Dearka shrugged. 'A year probably? You and Shiho were probably the last to see her before she left for Orb again.'

Yzak seethed. 'I still remember those old coots wanting me to convince her to stay at PLANT.'

'Did you?' Dearka asked, looking at him sideways.

Yzak rolled his eyes. 'No, when did I ever listen to them?'

Dearka sneered. 'That's why you resigned in the first place.'

'Hey,' Yzak turned to Dearka, 'did you watch that APN special?'

It was Dearka's turn to roll his eyes. 'Are you kidding me, you were the one who told me to escort Athrun to the recording.'

'Oh, right.' Yzak shrugged sheepishly. 'Been too busy, sometimes I just can't keep track of things.'

'I'm sure.' Dearka sneered. 'What about the program.'

'Can you believe Athrun said Lacus Clyne was every guy's dream?' Yzak muttered.

Dearka snorted. 'Yah! Dude, do not tell me you didn't have a crush on her.'

'No I didn't.' Yzak murmured. 'Besides, you think he's really over her?'

'Over who?' Dearka asked quickly.

'Lacus Clyne.' Yzak said impatiently. 'Who else would I be talking about?'

Dearka shrugged. 'I don't know, and besides, were they really a couple when they were engaged, I don't think so, he said so himself on the program, they're just friends.'

Yzak snorted. 'What is he thinking? It's Lacus Clyne… _the _Lacus Clyne.'

Dearka snorted. 'If you ask me, Athrun Zala has bad taste in women.'

'You think?' Yzak sneered.

Standing in front of them, Athrun couldn't help but twitch his eyebrows as his two former comrades continued talking about his personal life as if he was invisible. Looking over his shoulder, Athrun glared at them. 'Do you two mind talking about my personal life another time, another place out of my earshot?'

'Sorry.' Dearka raised his hands up in the air briefly while Yzak shrugged.

Exhaling loudly, Athrun put his hands behind his back and looked up at the sky.

'What's taking so long?' Dearka asked.

'They're coming.' Athrun said, nodding his head as a black chopper approached.

'I don't understand why she has to give a speech in public.' Yzak muttered. 'She just arrived.'

'She wants to do as much as she can before she leaves.' Athrun said.

'When is she leaving again?' Dearka asked.

'Two days after the opening ceremony.' Yzak replied quickly, squinting his eyes as the chopper landed, blasting wind against the crew lined up to welcome the princess of PLANT.

'Still beautiful.' Dearka muttered as the doors opened.

Shooting and glare over his shoulder briefly, Athrun walked up and took Lacus' hand, assisting her down the ramp. Stepping her foot down elegantly, Lacus smiled at Athrun. 'It's been a while.'

Nodding his head, Athrun led her down the path.

'Yzak!' Lacus smiled.

Yzak bowed his head. 'Lacus-sama.'

'And Dearka.' Lacus turned to him.

Dearka followed suit. 'Lacus-sama.'

'Dearka will be in charge of your security at Aprillius One and Yzak is the head of the security unit for Olion Games.' Athrun explained.

'A fine choice.' Lacus said gently.

'We have a limo waiting for you Lacus-sama.' Dearka said. 'It will take you to Lolklore Square for your speech.'

'Excellent.' Lacus smiled.

'Yeah, I don't see any sparks between them.' Dearka murmured to Yzak as they followed the two.

Yzak nodded. 'Did he say there was another person?'

Dearka smirked. 'He said no, but do you believe him?'

Climbing into the limo after Lacus, Athrun sat across from her as a ZAFT soldier closed the door for them.

'You look tired Athrun.' Lacus said, smiling.

'Shouldn't you be the one tired?' Athrun asked back. 'It's been a long flight.'

Lacus shrugged and leaned back, her hands folded elegantly on her lap. 'I can sleep on shuttles. Besides, I really want to see the people of PLANT, I miss them.'

Athrun nodded. 'I'm sure they miss you too.'

'How are you Athrun?' Lacus asked.

'I'm fine.' Athrun said.

'How are you Athrun?' Lacus asked again, her smile fading.

Athrun looked into her clear almost transparent blue eyes briefly before sighing. 'You're right, I'm tired.'

'How long has it been?' Lacus asked.

'Two and a half years.' Athrun said quietly. 'It's been two and a half years since I've seen her.'

'I watched the program, the APN special.' Lacus said softly. 'It it true, there's no one else now?'

Looking at Lacus briefly, Athrun sat back and reached out one hand, gripping his fringes. 'Two and a half years Lacus, it's been two and a half years… how can she do this?'

'Have you given up?' Lacus asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

Taking a deep breath, Athrun looked down. 'At first I told myself she needed to think, she needed time to believe in herself again and I thought she'd come back but now… I'm just scared, I'm scared that she'll be able to actually leave everything behind, I'm scared that she's already built a whole new life without me in the picture. I'm angry Lacus.'

Lacus shook her head. 'You have very right to be, but why?'

Atrhun looked at Lacus. 'She lost faith in me, she lost faith in herself and it hurts me to think that she's no longer the Cagalli I admired. I'm scared that… that I've really given up.'

Leaning forward, Lacus covered one hand over his. 'If you are really Athrun Zala, then you won't give up.'

'I get tired too Lacus.' Athrun whispered. 'And now… I'm just tired searching and then waiting for a miracle to happen. They don't happen a lot you know.'

Lacus gave his hand a squeeze. 'You both need time because what you two have been through is complicated. Do you really think that if she was still the princess, you'd still have a chance to be with her? One of the reasons your relationship is so rocky was her identity and what made her life complicated was her identity too. You know she made a right decision or there'd be a good chance you two would… would never heal properly.'

Athrun looked at her. 'The last time I saw her, I thought there was hope. Never in a million years did I even expect it to be a good bye. I dream about her, all the time, but now… I can't even picture her face in my dreams anymore.'

'Athrun.' Exhaling softly and gave his hand a pat.

'I'm talking like a girl.' Athrun muttered, giving out a short laugh.

'The kids miss you.' Lacus said. 'They miss you and Cagalli. They've been asking when you'd bring her back. Don't let them down.'

Athrun smiled. 'We'll see.'

Lacus just smiled back in response as the limo pulled up and a few moments later, Dearka opened the door for them.

'It's been a long time.' Lacus murmured.

'You ready?' Athrun asked.

Lacus nodded and watched as Athrun stepped out. She hesitated briefly before taking his hand, letting him help her out. As she stepped out of the limo, she couldn't help but look up at Aprillius One's sky.

'This way Lacus-sama.' Dearka said, his head bowed slightly as the crowd lined on either side of the carpet screamed and shouted.

'Lacus-sama!'

'We love you Lacus-sama!'

Walking down the carpet slowly, Lacus took her time and waved at the crowd. She couldn't help but feel a rush as she stepped on the stage that overlooked the whole square where thousands of people were cheering on.

'Lacus.' Athrun nodded his head.

Nodding back, Lacus was about to open her mouth when a wave of gasps could be heard. She couldn't help but furrow her eyebrows and turn to Athrun after seeing a crowd back off. 'What's going on?'

'I don't know.' Athrun turned to Dearka. 'Go see what's going on and alert Yzak.'

'Yes sir.' With that, Dearka hopped down the stairs three at a time and squeezed through the crowd of people after giving direction to a few ZAFT soldiers.

'I think someone's having a fit!' Lacus cried in a worried tone.

'I think Dearka's calling the paramedics.' Athrun said. They watched as a girl with a blue cap and huge black framed glasses dash up to the seizing man. Turning around, he started giving direction to a few ZAFT soldiers whom were standing behind them until he felt Lacus pull at his arm.

'Athrun…' Lacus's voice trailed as she raised one trembling hand.

'What?' Athrun followed her finger and paused for a split second before widening his eyes. A few moments later, he turned to Lacus abruptly and before she could open her mouth, he whirled around and flew down the stairs. Pushing past the crowd, he found himself staring at a back with long golden locks sprawled all over.

'As anyone called the paramedics?' She cried, still trying to steady the man who was seizing.

'They have Cagalli.' At the voice, Athrun looked up and saw Dearka nodding. He wasn't dreaming, it was really her.

He didn't dare breath as he watched Cagalli at work, instructing another man with black hair and blue eyes. He kept still as the paramedics came and took over the scene. When she turned around, he could clearly see her face, her eyes… it was her, it was Cagalli Yula Attha.

'You got great hair, why hide it?' The man with black hair asked while handing the cap and glasses to her.

'Mind your own business.' Cagalli muttered. It was her, it was the same voice, the same attitude. It was Cagalli! Cagalli…

Opening his mouth, Athrun tried to find his voice but found himself unable to make out a word. Gulping down a lump in his throat, he reached out one hand and took a step forward just as another woman pushed him aside roughly and dashed towards Cagalli.

'It's you! You are Cagalli!' A woman in her mid-forties with tousled hair and bloodshot eyes pointed a finger at her. 'Cagalli Yula Attha!'

Alix rolled his eyes. 'You are clearly out of your mind woman.'

'I am not!' The woman screamed.

'Let's go.' Cagalli murmured.

'Oh no you don't!'

'Yula watch out!' Alix shouted.

Turning around, Cagalli widened her eyes as the mad woman lunged forward and grabbed the ends of her hair.

'What are you doing? Let her go!' Orsic shouted.

The mad woman ignored her. 'You think you can hide away from the world? You think you can run away form your responsibilities by growing out your hair and wearing a pair of glasses?'

Cagalli winced in pain and gripped the roots of her hair as the woman gave her locks hurtful tugs. Tripping over her feet, she fell to the floor and could do nothing but let the mad woman drag her along the ground.

'You useless bitch.' The mad woman seethed into her ear. 'You let you' let your country self destructed, you let my son and my husband die in foreign place… look at me now… look at me!'

Gasping for breath, Cagalli squeezed her eyes shut, praying that she'd let her go.

'Say something!' The mad woman screamed, shaking her by the hair. 'Aren't you the great leader of Orb? Aren't you supposed to make all the ground breaking decisions? You're useless! You are the one who let everything fall apart during the war! You! You and your Father Attha!'

Gritting her teeth, Cagalli turned her head as the crowd gasped. She widened her eyes at the cutter in the mad woman's hand and held her forearm out as a reflex action.

'Cagalli!'

At the voice, Cagalli widened her eyes in shock and before she knew it, she was sprawling on the floor. She froze for a split second, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Looking up, she saw locks of her blonde hair flying in the air.

'Yula!' Ulrika cried, dashing up to her. 'You're bleeding!'

In a complete daze, Cagalli let Ulrika and Alix help her sit up.

'You okay?' Orisc asked, holding her bleeding forearm up.

'I heard his voice.' Cagalli whispered, her blurry eyes wandering.

'You okay there princess?'

Looking up, Cagalli widened her eyes at the tanned blonde who was holding the mad woman back. 'Dearka?'

Orsic looked down at Cagalli and frowned as he caught Dearka winking at her. 'You know him?'

Ignoring him, Cagalli bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes. She could only muster all her strength to prevent the tears from overflowing as her eyes met with familiar emerald green orbs. That was when she realized that for the last two and a half years, she'd been trying to run away from her past, but she failed. She could feel all her work falling apart at the sight of him, she could just feel it.

At the sight of Athrun Zala.

x-------x-------x-------x-------x

Gripping the pen tightly in his hand, Monroe Fonz stared at the blonde before him. 'Are you sure Miss Caitir, are you sure this is all you have to say to us? You do remember that the mad woman dragged you around by the hair and later cut it off.'

Gritting her teeth, Cagalli tried to keep her calmness in check. 'Yes Lieutenance Fonz, that is all I have to say.'

'The woman cut your hair off.' Monroe leaned forward. 'Your hair.'

'So?' Cagalli shrugged.

Sighing, Monroe leaned back again. 'Does this have anything to do with the fact that she called you Cagalli Yula Attha?'

Cagalli narrowed her eyes. 'What does that mean?'

Monroe gave her a small smile. 'You do resemble Attha, you know that, right?'

Cagalli paused slightly before turning her head, her blood boiling. 'If I remember correctly, I am the victim, not the victimizer and you have no right to use that tone on me nor falsify my identity. If you say one more thing that offends me, I will a make serious complaint and I promise you will be nothing but demoted.'

'That's kind of harsh Miss Caitir, don't you think?'

'Major Elthman.' Monroe looked over his shoulder.

'When can I get out of here?' Cagalli asked, shooting a glance at Dearka.

'I'll take it from here Monroe.' Dearka motioned for Monroe to leave.

'Yes Major.' Shooting a glare at Cagali, Monroe flung open the door and stomped out.

'Excuse him Miss Caitir, he's a rookie.' Dearka said absently.

Looking at him sideways, Cagalli kept her mouth shut and watched as he walked to the recorder and switched it off. He paused briefly before turning around. 'But… no offence, you do look like someone I know, someone by the name Cagalli.'

Crossing her arms, Cagalli looked down at her lap. 'If there's nothing else you need to ask me, I want to leave, I still have a lot of work to do.'

Smiling, Dearka sat himself on the side of the table and picked up her file. 'Yula Caitir, turned twenty one two months ago, on a scholarship and currently student at the Scandanavian Athletics Training Academy, sports medicine. Mother died at child birth and father died of liver cancer at the age of five…' looking up, Dearka smiled. 'You've had a rough life for a twenty one year old.'

'I've lived my life in peace.' Cagalli said quietly, eyeing Dearka.

'Really?' Pausing, Dearka narrowed his eyes. 'You have really nice glasses, can I take a look at them?' Reaching out one hand, his fingers were about to touch her glasses when Cagalli suddenly grabbed his wrist and glared up at him. Unfazed, Dearka just widened his smile. 'Nice grip you've got there Miss Caitir.'

'What do you want?' Cagalli asked in a low voice.

His smile fading, Dearka leaned forward. 'I want to know why. You are Cagalli Yula Attha, don't deny it, it won't work on me, nor Athrun for that matter.' His eyes softened as he felt her grip loosen. 'Why are you doing this Cagalli?'

Releasing Dearka's wrist, Cagalli leaned back and looked at him through her glasses. 'You really want to know Dearka?'

'Why?' Was all Dearka said.

'Why?' Cagalli gave herself a bitter laugh and took her glasses off. Closing her eyes, she reached out one hand and messaged the side of her head. After a few moments of silence, she shrugged and looked up at Dearka with dull orange eyes. 'I'm tired, is that good enough?'

They stared at each other for a brief moment before a knock on the door could be heard.

'Come in.' Dearka said, hopping off the table.

'Someone has come to pick up Miss Caitir Major Elthman.' Monroe said opening the door.

'Very well.' Dearka turned to Cagalli. 'You may leave Miss Caitir.'

Putting her glasses back and slowly, Cagalli stood up and brushed herself. When she walked into the foyer, she saw Renya standing there, shaking her head.

'What did you do to yourself girl?' Renya asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she raised her right arm.

'It's nothing.' Cagalli said quietly. 'It was just a minor cut.'

Renya paused and looked at her face. 'And your hair…'

Cagalli shot a glance at Dearka. 'My hair.'

'You are…' Dearka's voice trailed.

'Renya Quint.' Renya smiled and shook hands with Dearka. 'I'm the attending for Team Scandanavia. I'm also this girl's aunt.'

'Oh…' Dearka smiled. 'I'll make sure we get the results of investigation back to Miss Caitir as soon as possible.'

'Thank you.' Renya nodded. 'Let's go Yula.'

'Have a good night Yula.' Dearka bowed his head slightly before Cagalli turned.

'You too Dearka.' Cagalli said after a pause.

'Major, are you sure she's not…' Monroe walked up to him.

Watching Cagalli exit through the glass doors, Dearka shook his head. 'You got the files, they're legitimate, at least they seem legitimate.'

'I don't know Major, she's looks exactly like Attha, unless she has a twin sister.' Monroe muttered.

Dearka sighed, shaking his head. 'She does have a twin.'

Monroe widened his eyes. 'She does? It doesn't say anything about it in her file.'

Turning, Dearka put one hand on his shoulder. 'If I were you, I'd ignore that little detail.'

'Did it rain?' Cagalli asked as they stepped outside.

'A drizzle.' Renya replied, unlocking her car. Climbing into the car, Renya waited, watching sideways as Cagalli fastened her seatbelt. 'Are you sure you're okay?'

'Yeah.' Cagalli whispered, closing her eyes.

'Okay.' Gunning the engine, Renya steered out of the parking lot. She drove in silence, turning the wipes on when it started to drizzle again.

'It rains in Orb.' Cagalli murmured.

'What?' Renya shot a glance at her.

'It rains n Orb.' Cagalli repeated. 'Every time it snows in Birger Jarl, I miss the rain in Orb. You know they get most of the rain in December and January?'

Renya kept quiet.

'I loved going to beach back then.' Cagalli continued, smiling. 'It was the best place to watch the sunset, it was beautiful. I just loved strolling down the beach barefoot, wearing a sundress. Mana would laugh so hard if she knew I liked wearing dresses. I don't mind comfortable ones but hate the really fancy ones she makes wear to those stupid cocktails and balls. I even had to bring dresses to diplomatic meetings, just in case… Athrun always bugged me about proper attire.'

Sighing, Cagalli leaned her head back. She stared at the wipers, the rain sliding down the windshield. 'I hated heels, I couldn't run fast in heels. Mana made me wear my first heels at my Mother's funeral, that was the first time I actually wore a decent dress. It black, but it was a nice dress.'

'Cagalli…' Renya turned to her at a red light.

'I grew my hair Renya.' Cagalli turned to her. 'I had to get rid of the Cagalli Yula Attha look. You know I did at one point consider shaving my head, but I thought of how windy in was in Birjer Jarl and how I'd have to wear a hat or something all the time.'

'You wear hats all the time despite having long hair.' Renya muttered.

'I wanted to be pretty.' Cagalli whispered, looking away. 'I wanted to look like someone, someone who was engaged to him before…' Cagalli suddenly burst out laughing, catching Renya by surprise.

'Cagalli.' Renya pulled the car in front of their complex. 'Are you okay.'

'Yeah, I'm okay.' Cagalli nodded her head violently, fanning herself with one hand. 'I shouldn't be laughing. You want to know something funny?'

'Yeah…' Renya's voice trailed, 'and you should know that you're starting to freak me out.'

'I was jealous, I felt jealous when he talked about his ex-fiancee on TV.' Cagalli laughed while shaking her head. 'Isn't that stupid? I mean, who am I to be jealous?'

'Cagalli…' Renya sighed. 'If you want to cry, just cry.'

Cagalli shook her head. 'I don't want to cry, I just want to laugh.'

Reaching out one hand, Renya ruffled her now shoulder length hair. 'Get some rest, it's opening tomorrow.'

Cagalli nodded, a small smile on her face. 'You too.'

When she reached her room, she said goodbye to Renya, the smile still on her face, making Renya extremely uncomfortable.

Staring at her clinically empty room, Cagalli gave herself a bitter smile and threw herself onto her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she shook her head and leaned to her side. After a few seconds she sat up.

'This is ridiculous.' Cagalli murmured. Standing up, she paced her small room, shooting a glance at the papers and reports on her desk. Turning around, she opened a drawer and took out a white track suit. Throwing it on, she pulled her now shoulder length blonde hair back and put on her hood. She needed a run, something physical to clear her mind.

Taking the stairs instead of the elevator, Cagalli ignored the drizzle and dashed out of the complex. The place was deserted since all the athletes needed their rest for the big opening tomorrow. It was nice, but it was also too quiet and quietness made frustrating thoughts enter her mind.

Gritting her teeth, Cagalli jogged faster, her hood falling off, the rain beating against her face. She couldn't help but lean her head back as it started pouring. How she wished the water would wash out all the thoughts that were eating her alive.

Soaked, Cagalli stopped under a bridge that connected the main complex and one of the bigger resident buildings. She breathed heavily as the rain dripped from her fringes. When her breath finally slowed down, she heard music coming from behind her. Turning, she realized that she was standing in front of huge double doors. Opening them, she saw another set of doors and tried to open them but found that they were locked. Though poorly lit, Cagalli saw a flight of stairs.

'It's non of your business, you better get your ass out of here.' Cagalli muttered. Turning she tried to open the doors she came in from but found that they were looked. 'Damn.'

Sighing, she knew that her only option was to walk up the stairs. She started to shiver slightly as she left a path of water behind her. When she reached the top of the stairs, she saw light seeping through the doors.

Pushing the door open, she coughed at the dust, squeezing her eyes shut. When the door closed behind her and she opened her eyes again, she found herself on a balcony that overlooked a brightly lit banquet hall. Elegantly dressed men and women were dancing on the floor and mingling at the tables while waiters in crisp suits walked around with silver trays that held cocktail glasses.

Cagalli suddenly found herself looking back into the past, into a world where she used to belong. Used to, past tense.

Taking careful steps forward, she wiped some of the water that was dripping down her face. Leaning against a pillar, she looked down again, her eyes searching. When a figure in a black suit with shoulder length blue hair turned around, she couldn't help but hold her breath.

It was Athrun. Athrun Zala.

It was a familiar face, yet it seemed so far away and she was struggling to remember his face. Not much changed when it came to Athrun Zala, a little more mature, he seemed to grow an extra inch yet he still had the shoulder length blue hair and bright green eyes.

The first two months, the face kept floating in her dreams, haunting her, but now… it was just a feeling, she could barely picture himuntil she came to Aprillius One where the news kept showing his face.

Hiding herself further behind the pillar yet giving herself a generous view of the banquet hall, Cagalli saw him talking to Lacus who was as beautiful as usual In a simple yet elegant blue evening gown. She widened her eyes as Shinn and Lunamaria walked up to him. That was when she realized that Meyrin was behind Athrun all this time, her hair pulled up in an elegant bun and dressed in a champagne colored dress.

They looked nice together, Athrun and Meyrin looked really nice together.

'What did you expect?' Cagalli whispered. She could see their mouths moving yet she couldn't hear what they were saying. There was an invisible barrier between them. She no longer belonged to this world, she no longer belonged to his world.

She knew that, she knew that when she left two and a half years ago, she knew that when Athrun left for PLANT to start with, leaving her behind, but why? Why did she feel miserable thinking about it, why did it feel like someone grinding a knife into her when she thinking about him, why?

She missed his eyes, she missed them staring at her intently. They were gorgeous and now, they would only exist in her memory, a memory she'd been trying to eliminate from her mind all this time. It was blurry, but it was still there…

'Blurry…' Cagalli whispered as she saw bright green eyes staring up at her. Looking away, abruptly, that was when she realized that Athrun had caught sight of her and that tears had already welled up in her eyes. Ripping her glasses off, she squeezed her eyes shut, not letting the tears overflow was she blindly found her way to the door opposite the way she came.

Dropping her glasses as she flew down the staircase, she didn't even bother to pick them up. When she burst into the brightly lit hallways of the complex, she couldn't help but curse. It was like a maze, all the corridors were the same color. She needed to get out of here, she couldn't…

'Cagalli!'

She widened her eyes at the voice and made a mad dash in the opposite direction.

'Damn it!' She cried, feeling her heart race as she turned corners. She couldn't help but feel relieved as the sight of huge glass doors and made a run for it. She was this close to getting out of the building, getting out of this world she had accidentally entered when she crashed into a body.

It was a familiar scent.

'Cagalli!" Grabbing her wrist, Athrun, pulled her close to him, not caring if her soaked body was wetting his new suit.

She paused for a split second before she realized that her fresh cut on her forearm was bleeding again. Putting one hand on his chest, she pushed him away with all her strength, making him stumble back.

'Athrun! Are you okay?'

Looking up from her bloodstained sleeve, Cagalli saw Meyrin holding Athrun by the shoulder.

'Cagalli!' Lacus cried. 'Why are you running away from us?' At this time, Shinn had also caught up with them.

Holding her arm, Cagalli stared at Athrun who looked back at her silently. Turning sideways, she looked up at the ceiling, letting her arm go. Lifting up her bloody arm, she gripped at her wet fringes. She felt like laughing and she did.

They all stood there in silence as Cagalli buried her face in her hands. Shaking her head violently, she turned to them. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing, it's totally inappropriate.'

She wasn't laughing, Athrun could see it. She wasn't laughing, she was crying, she was breaking down inside.

'Don't!' Cagalli suddenly yelled when Athrun took a step forward. Shaking her head, Cagalli looked into his eyes. 'Don't do this Athrun.'

'Why are you doing this?' Athrun asked back, feeling his hands shake.

'I feel so small, all of sudden.' Cagalli said quietly, s smile on her face. 'This is not the place for me, it's not my world, it's your world. I don't belong here, I'm not Cagalli Yula Attha anymore and you know it.'

'It's not true.' Athrun whispered.

Looking up, Cagalli took a deep breath. 'You're right in front of me, just looking at you and I know that all the work I've done in the last two years is just falling apart, all the work I've done, trying to forget about you, about the war…' Reaching up, she held onto her forehead. 'Seeing you, it makes realize…' She shook her head and bit her lower lip.

'Cagalli.' Lacus whispered in a desperate tone. 'You'll always be. – '

'No.' Cagalli shook her head. 'See you guys laughing and talking and living like normal people… you know I can't even remember the last time I actually felt happy, I actually laughed…' Gripping the roots of her hair, Cagalli laughed out loud and finally let the tears stream down her face. 'Seeing you has made realize that I've been friggin' miserable for the last two and a half years and feel even more miserable seeing you.' She laughed louder and held one hand out at them. 'Isn't that ridiculous? Isn't that most ridiculous piece of crap you've ever heard?'

Taking a deep breath, Athrun took a step forward. 'It's not like that Cagalli.'

Taking a step back, Cagalli wrapped her arms around herself and looked at him through blurry eyes. 'Please, don't make things harder than they are for me, I just want to get through this and…'

'Leave?' Athrun asked in a bear whisper.

'Please… ' Cagalli pleaded quietly. When he didn't answer, Cagalli felt her heart drop but she knew at the same time it was for the best, It was her chance.

Turning away, she walked slowly towards the glass doors and once they opened in front of her, she flew down the stairs and broke into a run, disappearing into the rainy night.

**  
End of ****Chapter 5  
**_Next Update: 2nd September, 2006_

**A/N: **Made you guys all look! Now you know who called Cagalli 'Cagalli' right? That was kind of sneak, I know, but I'm glad you all caught on. This is a depressing chapter, it made me tingle when reading it again. How it goes on? You'll have to guess and find out in September. I'm quite the evil author.

See you then! Enjoy.


	6. Beyond Reach

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter** **6: Beyond Reach**

'**_Why did you leave, because you felt that you could do something with Dullindal. You left dude, that's the fact, you left and on some levels, you betrayed her by reenlisting.'_**

'You look tired Yula.' Orsic said quietly as he watched her wrap his left knee.

Looking up briefly, Cagalli smiled. 'Yes, I am, thanks for asking.'

'Did you get any sleep at all dude?' Alix asked, shaking a water bottle.

'Yes, I did.' Cagalli grumbled.

'Is his knee going to survive?' Alix asked. 'I do want to win and we're already at the semi-finals.'

'It's an old injury.' Cagalli murmured, 'that's why I'm stationed here until the end of the tournament. I don't think you'll add a lot of stress to it as long as the ball doesn't hit your knee directly again.'

Alix made a face. 'Ouch.'

'That's how I got this.' Orsic muttered, glaring at Alix.

Alix just shrugged. 'You were ridiculous that time.'

'Way to make me feel better pal.' Orsic sneered, punching him lightly in the shoulder. 'Really.'

Cagalli looked up at the sound of the whistle. 'Half-time's over.'

'Let's kill em' bro!' Alix sneered, throwing the water bottle onto the floor.

Giving him a high five, Orsic hopped off the side bench and did a quick stretch before entering the court. When both teams had positioned themselves in front of the net, the referee held a black flag up. Seconds later, an invisible shield formed around the court as Zero Gravity was activated.

Up at the control both, Athrun leaned his back against the glass panel with his arms crossed, looking over his shoulder as the game started.

'They're the world champions last year.' Dearka said, walking up to him. 'Orsic Natan and Alix Hodgekins, they're this years Olion favorites for Cruzball.'

'You're into Cruzball?' Athrun asked, shooting a glance at him.

Dearka shook his head. 'Not really, tried it once or twice. You'd think that having so much zero gravity experience you'd be able control yourself in the court, but it's hard, trust me.'

'Why is she doing this?' Athrun asked quietly.

'Doing what?' Dearka asked, scribbling on his board.

'Leaving her country behind, leaving her life behind…' Athrun sighed. 'She's like a living corpse now.'

'Well, I'm glad you noticed.' Dearka sneered. At that, Athrun turned to him with a glare. Sighing, Dearka shook his head. 'Both of you have had different experiences and set backs during the war, they're different, but the magnitude is probably the same and you, of all people, should understand her decision in leaving.'

'I don't.' Athrun shook his head.

'Really?' Dearka asked. 'Why did you leave Orb?'

'When?' Athrun asked, eyeing him. 'After the fall of Junius 7?'

Dearka nodded, pointing his pen at him. 'Yes. Why did you leave, because you felt that you could do something with Dullindal. You left dude, that's the fact, you left and on some levels, you betrayed her by reenlisting.'

Athrun glared at him. 'Are you saying it's some sort of revenge?'

Dearka sighed. 'No, all I'm saying is, you've got to think of it on a different level. You felt that leaving Orb at that time was the right to do and maybe it was. It's the same thing for Cagalli. She left because she thought it was the right thing to do and it was. I hate to say this but Orb has been doing so much better since she resigned, not that I'm disregarding all her efforts that made the basis for Orb's current development. When it comes to the big picture, you know she did the right thing.'

'How about personally?' Athrun asked quietly. 'Care to enlighten me?'

Dearka laughed out loud. 'When did I become your shrink Athrun Zala?'

'You seem to have a lot of experience with this.' Athrun sneered.

Dearka just laughed and shook his head. 'I guess I do.'

'So?' Athrun raised his eyebrows.

'Let me ask you this,' Dearka tossed his clipboard on the table beside him and crossed his arms. 'Do you honestly think that if she stayed, she'd be able to face you? In the first war, you two went through the toughest together, but in the second…'

'We were apart.' Athrun whispered.

'Exactly'.' Dearka said. 'It easy to understand each other if you've actually been through the shit together, but when you guys were apart… she didn't understand why you reenlisted and you didn't understand why she caved and decided to marry Yuna Roma.' He paused and shrugged. 'It's not just that, there's Mia, Lunamaria and Meyrin Hawke… I have to say you had more girls than I've ever heard of.'

Athrun couldn't help but laugh shortly. 'Yeah, you do have a point there.'

'You're damn right I do.' Dearka muttered.

'So what do I do now?' Athrun asked quietly, looking down at the court again.

'What do you do?' Dearka paused briefly before sighing. 'She's tired and you know it. Give her some time.'

'Isn't two and a half years enough?' Athrun murmured.

'It's not enough if she doesn't come to a conclusion, if you two do not come to a conclusion.' Dearka said.

Athrun paused before laughing softly. 'You know it's usually Kira giving me the talk.'

'The next you know, it would be Yzak.' Dearka sneered.

At that, Athrun laughed out loud. 'Oh I would kill myself if that day came.'

'Think about it.' Dearka said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Athrun exhaled loudly and turned back to the court. 'Believe me, I've been thinking about it for two and a half years.'

'It's hard work buddy.' Dearka turned when one of his subordinates called him. Taking the phone, he paused before turning to Athrun. 'Really, are you just going to stand there and do nothing?'

Athrun shrugged. 'Maybe.'

Dearka snorted. 'Not in my control room. Go and buy coffee.'

Athrun blinked. 'Excuse me?'

'You're doing nothing!' Dearka sneered. 'Go, I don't want to see you moping about the love your life in my control room.'

Athrun widened his eyes. 'She's not – '

'Yeah yeah whatever.' Making a face, Dearka turned back to his phone while watching him sideways, making sure that he would leave the room.

'What was that all about?' Yzak asked on the other line.

'Lover boy troubles.' Dearka muttered. 'So, you got some information or something?'

Yzak sighed. 'Yeah, and uh, it's not that serious, but you should keep an eye on who enters the stadium.'

Dearka sighed and crossed his arm. 'I'm all ears Jule, spit it.'

Making his way down the stairs, Athrun found that the waiting area was deserted.

'Can I help you sir?' The lady at the counter asked.

'Six coffees.' Athrun said, fishing for his wallet. 'Can you send five up to the control booth?'

'Yes sir.'

Taking his coffee, he went to the stands and added some milk and sugar. He never really liked black coffee, it always made his stomach hurt.

Covering his coffee with a plastic cover, he smiled at the girl with the other five coffees in a tray. Sighing, he was about to turn when someone bumped into him hard. Blinking, he looked back and saw a man in a black wind breaker and a cap walking past him with a black backpack. Narrowing his eyes, he dug into his pocket and took out his cell phone. He was about to dial a number when he caught sight of someone sitting on a bench against the wall. She was sliding down the bench with a blue cap covering her face. A half finished coffee in hand, it was close to spilling.

Gripping his cell phone, Athrun couldn't help but stare at her. He'd imagine what he'd say when he saw her again a thousand times in his sleep, he had so many things to say to her but that night… nothing came out. It scared him, did they change so much that they couldn't even carry out a normal conversation anymore? Had their relationship been reduced to being mere strangers?

Seeing her like this… he was looking at a stranger.

Walking up to her, Athrun reached out one hand and pushed her tilting coffee cup upright. At that, Cagalli jerked up, the cap tumbling down her chest. Blinking, she looked up and found herself staring at Athrun's emerald eyes.

'It was about to spill Miss Caitir.' Athrun said softly.

Looking down, Cagalli nodded and set the cup down. 'Thanks.'

'Aren't you supposed to be out there?' Athrun asked, feeling his heart race.

Cagalli shot a glance at the screen in front of her. 'I should be.'

'I'm not – ' Athrun stopped short when she stood up abruptly, 'I'm not stalking you or anything, I just… you know, I'm a presenter today.'

Cagalli nodded. 'But it's the semi-finals.'

'Yeah…' Athrun nodded, his voice trailing.

'It's the ladies final though.' Cagalli said quietly.

Athrun nodded. 'You're right.'

'Yula!' Alix and Orsic's assistant coach motioned for her.

'Coming!' Cagalli called. Not looking at him, she turned and made her way towards the entrance. When the door closed behind her, Athrun paused for a brief moment before sitting down. Putting his coffee down with controlled force, he leaned his head down and gripped the roots of his hair.

This was ridiculous, this was just…

His cell phone ringing, Athrun grunted and picked it up. 'What?'

'Woah, what's gotten into you? Did you see her?' Dearka asked

'Okay, are you like psychic or something because you're starting to freak me out Elthman.' Athrun snapped.

'Okay okay, fine.' Dearka muttered. 'I can see you dude.'

'The CCTV, I should have known.' Athrun muttered, glaring at the lenses on the ceiling.

'Yup.' Dearka nodded. 'Thanks for the coffee by the way.'

'Like you didn't force me.' Athrun muttered

'Yzak just called.' Dearka said, changing the subject.

'And…' Athrun's voice trailed.

'The woman who attacked Cagalli, her name is Freda Gail. She's a patient with a mental record and was just discharged two days ago from Redvers.' Dearka paused.

'Okay, continue.' Athrun said carefully.

'She's had a record of attack people like that and what she said was true, both her husband and his older son died at Orb four years ago.' Dearka continued.

'And…'

Dearka sighed. 'She has another son who we believe was involved in a terrorist attack that almost got Armafi killed last month at Martius 2. He got away, but now, intelligence indicates that he is in Aprillius One right now.'

'Okay, let me get this straight – ' Athrun held his hand up.

'A guy crashed into you a few moments ago right?' Dearka asked.

'Yeah…' Athrun paused. 'You're not saying…' at a loud cheer, Athrun looked up at the screen and watched as Alix and Orsic jumped up in the air after the gravity system was turned on again.

'What's going on?' Dearka asked, frowning at the noise.

'Nothing.' Athrun said, covering one ear. 'Are you saying that this mad woman's son is here?'

'I'm not saying that, I just thought that the figure was a little suspicious that's all, I mean…'

'Dearka!" Athrun shouted. He widened his eyes and turned around at the sound of a gunshot.

'Oh my God…' Dearka's voice trailed and the connection was cut abruptly.

Phone in hand, Athrun stood there for a split second, watching numbly in the screen as Orsic fell onto Cagalli, blood gushing out of his right shoulder. It took a few moments before the screams and shouts inside the hall got him. Dropping his coffee onto the floor, he made a run for the door and flung it open.

'Who are you?' A security guard demanded when he tried to pass. 'This is a restricted area!'

'Get off me!' Athrun shouted as he was held back. His eyes scanned the spectator stand as he tried to make out the sniper's position. The man in black who crashed into him flashed through his eyes just as he caught his figure at the very top of zone C. Turning his head, he saw Cagalli sitting on the floor with a dazed look, holding onto Orsic with a pool of blood surrounding them. Turning back, he saw that the black figure was at a perfect aiming angle, aiming for Cagalli.

Gritting his teeth, Athrun, broke free from the two security guards and made a dash. He managed to push Cagalli and Orsic away just as another shot was fired. Opening his eyes again, he found that he was lying on the ground, blood staining his white shirt and the left side of his cheek.

'Athrun!' Dearka ran up to him after barking out a few orders left and right

'He was up there.' Athrun winced, standing up. 'He was aiming for Cagalli.'

'That's pretty obvious.' Dearka muttered. He motioned his head towards Cagalli was lying against a bench, staring into space as the paramedics transferred Orsic onto a stretcher with four ZAFT soldiers surrounding them. 'I've closed the area.'

'Good…' Athrun's voice trailed as he walked up to Cagalli. Kneeling beside her, he saw that her left arm was cut and bleeding.

'Why?' She whispered. Athrun felt his heart wrench as she closed her eyes, a single tear sliding down her cheek. Ignoring the rest who were surrounding them, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close for a brief moment before picking her up.

'I'm here.' Athrun murmured into her ear. 'I said I'd protect you, remember.'

'Protect me?' Cagalli whispered, looking up at him briefly.

'Yes.' Athrun whispered back.

Leaning her head against his shoulder, Cagalli bit her lip and nodded before passing out. 'I remember…'

------------------------------xxxx-------------------------------xxxx------------------------------xxxx-------------------------------

'Jeryn, stop pacing, he's going to be fine.' Renya muttered, crossing her arms.

'He got shot!' Jeryn cried, throwing her hands up in the air. 'Shot! How can you be so calm?'

'I need to be calm or you guys will freak out even more.' Renya said flatly, shooting a glance at Alix who was standing against the wall with his arms crossed, his eyes trained on the floor. 'The doctor's are doing their best, it's not like we can do a lot but wait so shush. Your event may be over but you should not be this freaked out, it's not good for you.'

'What the hell happened?' Jeryn whispered, sliding onto the seat beside Renya.

'It was Yula.' Alix spat, turning his head and glaring at them. 'No, Cagalli Yula Attha.'

'Don't start.' Renya said sharply, returning the glare.

Alix continued staring at her until the light box of the operation room turned off.

'How is he doctor?' Jeryn asked, rushing up to him.

The doctor shook his head. 'We have to keep him in the ICU for the night, if he gets through, he'll be fine but he's lost a lot of blood. Another thing is, the bullet that hit his right shoulder has hit some of the nerves. We did all the repairs we could but there's a chance that he might not regain one hundred percent function of his right arm.'

'Not even with intensive physiotherapy?' Renya asked quietly.

The doctor shook his head. 'Not even with intensive physiotherapy.' He paused and looked at Alix who had his fist gripped tightly against his thigh. 'I know this will be hard on his career as a professional athlete, but don't give up on him completely until we get him steadied. He still has a chance.'

'Thank you doctor.' Renya said.

'You're welcome.' Nodding his head, he shook Renya's hand before leaving.

'Well, we shouldn't give up on him yet.' Renya said, sighing. 'He's going to make it.'

'Yeah.' Jeryn nodded, smiling.

'We were this close…' Alix whispered. Growling, he slammed one fist into the wall and looked up. He narrowed his eyes at the blonde figure standing in front of him. 'What are you doing here?'

'I wanted to see if Orsic's alright.' Cagalli said quietly. The sleeve of her left arm was ripped and her arm was bandaged. 'And I… I wanted to apologize.'

'Apologize?' Alix narrowed his eyes. 'For what? For being Cagalli Yula Attha?'

'Alix.' Renya shot a warning glance at her. 'You know it's not her fault Orsic was shot.'

'You know what? I don't care.' Alix spat. 'You can continue on pretending to be someone you're not, do whatever you want for all I care, just don't mess things up for me again. No wait, you already have!'

'Alix!' Jeryn pushed him back. 'Don't, you know you're going to regret what you say.'

Cagalli looked away. 'I'm sorry.'

'He's lying on bed, in tubes and all because of a bullet that was aiming for you.' Alix sneered, pushing Jeryn away. 'Don't be sorry, just don't show yourself in front of me ever again, you standing there right now, you disgust me.'

When Alix disappeared around the corner with Jeryn running after him.

'You know him.' Renya muttered, sighing. 'I'll have to call the psychiatrist, it'll be hard on him, this close to winning the world Olion title and his partner of five years in there, not knowing if his heart will still be beating the next minute.'

'It's all my fault.' Cagalli whispered, leaning against the wall.

'No it's not.' Renya said quietly. 'Stop thinking about it, you have a long day tomorrow. Want me to give you a ride home?'

Cagalli stared down at the floor for a while before shaking her head. 'No, I just want to wander around a bit. I'll take the bus, don't worry about me.'

Renya shrugged. 'If you say so.' She gave her an encouraging pat and a wink before turning around.

The halls were dead quiet as Cagalli took a deep breath. Pushing herself form the wall, she walked down the silent hallway until she reached the back exit. Pushing the heavy doors open, she stepped onto the concrete floor and stood there as the doors closed behind her. Taking a few steps, she sighed again and sat down on the stairs, holding her forehead with the heel of her palm.

She couldn't help but give herself a bitter laugh as she closed her eyes.

'It gets cold sometimes at night.' A familiar voice rang from above her. 'You'll catch a cold with a wound like that.'

Lifting her head up slightly, Cagalli stared up at Athrun with one eye covered. 'Who cares?'

Athrun narrowed his eyes. 'A lot of people care, you just don't care yourself.'

Sighing, Cagalli dropped her hands onto her lap. 'You're right, I'm the one who doesn't care.' She paused and looked up at Athrun's shadowed face. 'I left you, it hurt, didn't it?'

Athrun just looked at her. 'It hurts even more seeing you hurting yourself.'

Cagalli laughed shortly and looked down again. 'I've made so many bad decisions in my life. For once, I thought I did the right thing in leaving, when I see the news about Orb, I feel that I've done the right thing, but now… Orsic's in the ICU, he was shot because of me. He's just a civilian, doing his best in training, aiming for perfection on the court, living a life, a normal life that I've always wanted. Sometimes I don't understand why he likes me… I'm just a girl who has a dark past, who goes to bed waiting for morning to come, waking up and waiting for night to come…' She looked up at Athrun whose eyes were barely trembling. 'I'm pathetic Athrun, you know that? Pathetic… sometimes I wonder why I'm still here, why I'm still… still here. Why couldn't I have just died on the battlefield?

'It's been a long day, I'll give you a ride.' Biting his lower lip, he grabbed her arm and forced her to stand up. Feeling all energy draining, Cagalli let Athrun drag her across the parking lot like a rag doll, her eyes on the floor the whole time. Grunting, Athrun unlocked his car and pushed her in, slamming the door shut. He paused and stared into the passenger seat for a while before walking to the driver seat and climbing in.

When he reached a major intersection, Athrun shot a glance at Cagalli who was still staring out the window with blank eyes. Sighing, he closed his eyes briefly. 'Don't do this to yourself Cagalli, just don't.'

'I don't want to go back to the village.' Cagalli whispered after a few moments of silence.

Athrun frowned, tightening his grip around the steering wheel. 'It's not going to work Cagalli, you can't run away from some problem all the time, life doesn't work that way and you should be the first to know it.'

Cagalli closed her eyes and sank further into the leather seat. 'Please… this once?'

Sighing, Athrun reversed his car, making sure no one was behind him and switched lanes, turning a sharp right corner, a little too sharp. When he steered his car into a parking lot in front of a sky high residential building, Cagalli turned her head and opened her eyes slightly.

'Where are we?' She asked quietly.

'You said you didn't want to go home.' Athrun said flatly. 'I want to.'

Cagalli paused for a moment before climbing out of the car. 'Are you sure? It's late. I remember you hated people coming to your apartment back at Orb and – '

'So you still remember things from the past.' Athrun muttered, stepping into the elevator. At that, Cagalli stood there, staring at him. Sighing, he looked away. 'I'm sorry, come in.'

Hesitating briefly, Cagalli stepped into the elevator. The brief ride was in dead silence until the elevator stopped at the fifty second floor.

'This apartment used to be my parents.' Athrun said quietly as he opened the door. 'My Father bought it when he entered the council. I didn't know about this place until I came back two years ago.' Taking his shoes off, he flicked on the floor lamp and kitchen lights. 'Sorry, the bulb of the ceiling lights died a few days ago, I haven't had the time to replace it.'

Looking around, Cagalli sighed. 'I should go.'

'You're here already.' Athrun said shortly. Walking around the kitchen counter, he opened the refrigerator and took out a glass decanter and two glasses. Sitting down on the black and white swivel arm chair beside the television, Cagalli watched as he poured the dark brown liquid into the two glasses.

'What's this?' She asked when Athrun handed it to her.

'Taste it.' Athrun said promptly, holding the glass to his lips. He watched as Cagalli stared down at it for a moment before taking a sip. 'Remember it?'

Cagalli smiled and nodded. 'My Mom's special Christmas gluhwein.'

'Yeah.' Athrun sat down on the sofa across from her. 'I spent the last Christmas at Orb and Mana gave it to me.'

'You went to the Attha manor?' Cagalli asked quietly.

'Yeah.' Athrun replied. They both fell silent, Cagalli staring into her own cup while Athrun stared at her. This was the silence he was afraid of. They weren't exceptionally chatty in the past, they kept things to themselves and…

'We didn't really know each other all that well, did we Cagalli?' Athrun suddenly asked. He smiled when Cagalli looked up. 'When you left, I tried looking for you. Kisaka said he didn't know where you were, he just said Simmons made a new identity for you. My last stop was Tassil, I couldn't find you there, so I gave up. Scandinavia… I should have known. You told me before that your Mom was from Scandinavia, right?'

'My aunt, my birth Mom's aunt…' Cagalli looked down and sighed, 'Renya's my aunt, she lives in Birjer Jarl too.'

'At least there's someone to take care of you.' Athrun said quietly.

'Yeah…' Cagalli's voice trailed. He shot a glance at the Colonist magazine on the coffee table with Athrun as the cover. 'Any girls?'

Athrun narrowed his eyes briefly before shaking his head. 'Nah, been too busy going back and fourth.'

Cagalli managed a small smile. 'Really? No raging hormones?'

Athrun shook his head. 'I've learnt the word self control during the war, unlike other soldiers.'

'How's Kira?' Cagalli asked quietly.

'Shouldn't you have no interest in their affairs anymore?' Athrun asked, a little bit too sharply. When Cagalli looked down, he looked away and sighed. 'I'm sorry – '

'No, you're right.' Draining the rest of the gluhwein and set the glass down again. 'I made a decision, a drastic one, cutting everyone out of my life, cutting my past out, changing my name, moving to another place, taking up a new profession. You're right, I shouldn't have interest in their affairs… you're right, you don't have to apologize.'

'They're fine.' Athrun said quietly. 'Kira wants to ask Lacus to marry him.'

Cagalli smiled. 'That's nice, they're always good together, they're a wise couple.'

'We never were, weren't we?' Athrun said quietly.

'Were we ever a couple?' Cagalli asked quietly.

Athrun sighed. 'Cagalli, I – '

'Are you sure no girls?' Cagalli asked, looking up quickly. 'New interests?'

Athrun eyed her briefly. 'How about you?'

Cagalli laughed shortly. 'Do you want the long version or the short version?'

'The version I want?' Athrun tried.

Cagalli shrugged. 'Been too busy.'

Athrun looked down at his glass. 'Fair enough.'

'How about you?' Cagalli asked quietly, 'not even Meyrin?'

Athrun shook his head. 'Not even Meyrin, she's into me though, still is, I can tell.'

'Are you not into her?' Cagalli asked, a little bit too carefully, clutching her glass tightly. 'She's a nice girl, responsible, brave, I know you two will make a good match if you gave it a shot.'

'Is this really how it works?' Athrun asked after a brief pause. 'Give it a shot, see if it works… why didn't it work for us then?'

Cagalli looked into his eyes. 'Don't you think we gave it too many shots?'

Athrun laughed bitterly and leaned back, drapping one hand across the back of the sofa. Looking down, he closed his eyes. 'I was angry Cagalli, you know that?'

'You had every right to.' Cagalli whispered.

Athrun opened his eyes slowly. 'I was angry for two and a half years. I never thought I'd see you here, I wasn't prepared. When I saw you… I didn't know what to say and… and it wasn't till now did I realize that we're totally different people now, we were after the second war and there's no changing things, no turning back. I blamed you for not trying, for not talking things over with me, for being cowardly, but… you made a right decision, leaving was the best, for Orb and for us.'

'Thank you.' Cagalli whispered, looking away. She dreamt that Athrun would understand her, would forgive. He has now, but why did she feel… why did it feel unreal?

'It wouldn't have worked. 'Athrun continued, now looking at Cagalli with narrowed eyes.

'It wouldn't have.' Cagalli agreed. She paused before looking up. 'But did you love me at all?'

Athrun too paused, staring into her eyes, her face half hidden by the dim shadows. 'No. It felt like I loved you, but you and I know that it was just because of circumstances, we needed each other then, even after that night… you never loved me either Cagalli.'

Cagalli nodded and set the glass down onto the coffee table. Taking a deep breath, she stood up. 'We've come to a conclusion that has been haunting me for the last two and a half years. Thank you Athrun.'

Athrun gave her a small smile. 'You're welcome, Cagalli.'

'I should go.' Cagalli said quietly. 'It's getting late, sorry for bothering you.'

Narrowing his eyes, Athrun watched as Cagalli walked to the door and put her shoes on, when she put her hand on the door knob and was about to turn it, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 'Cagalli.'

Cagalli paused. 'I should go, don't worry, I'll find my way back.'

'I may never have loved you in the past, during the war, even when we were physically together,' Athrun paused and looked up. No matter how much she changed, Cagalli was still Cagalli… 'if I was given another chance in another place, at another time… I would fall in love with you.'

Athrun stared at her back for the longest time until she turned around again, her face barely visible in the dim light. 'I really should go Athrun.'

Standing up, Athrun took a step forward.

'Yeah, you should Cagalli.'

------------------------------xxxx-------------------------------xxxx------------------------------xxxx-------------------------------

'Seriously, Matope, you're giving me a headache!' Renya screeched. 'I already have enough on my hands!'

'Why did you not tell me earlier?' Matope demanded, slamming both hands onto the table before him, glaring down at Renya. 'Yula Caitir is Cagalli Yula Attha?'

'You believe that?' Renya asked, raising her eyebrows.

'Can I not?' Matope asked back. 'They've been blaring over the media for almost twenty four hours already since the shooting!'

'Really, Matope, it's eight in the morning, it's too early for your shit' Renya muttered, rubbing the side of her head while picking up her cup of coffee.

'That aside, I have my best cruzball player who could have been an Olion gold medalist in a coma right now plus his partner missing!' Matope grunted loudly and threw himself onto a chair. 'Why is everything beyond reach? Why?'

They fell silent for a while before Renya's cellphone on the shiny black table rang and buzzed. As she picked up the phone, her eyebrows furrowed as Matope leaned close to her. Rolling her eyes, she turned in her seat and stood up, walking up to the window where the sun was shining in.

'How is he?' Matope asked anxiously as Renya clapped her cellphone shut.

'He's going to live.' Renya said, sighing, 'but they can't say for sure whether or not he'll regain one hundred percent function of his right hand and arm.'

'Damn.' Matope muttered.

'They can't say for sure, but there's a chance.' Renya said, opening her cellphone again. 'I better give Yula a call.'

'I thought she was on call last night.' Matope said.

Renya shook her head. 'After what happened last night? I told her to take the night off. I haven't seen her this morning which is kind of weird, she goes running every morning.'

'I've got to go wrap things up.' Matope said. 'Call me if there's any news about Orsic.'

'Yeah.' Renya raised her thumb up as she waited for the line to connect. She couldn't help but frown at the eleventh ring and was about to hang up when Cagalli's tired voice came through. 'Where are you? Did you just wake up?'

'No.' Cagalli said tiredly on the other line.

'Orsic's okay, he made it through the night.' Renya said.

'That's good to know.' Cagalli said quietly.

'Are you sure you're okay?' Renya asked, her frown deepening. 'Are you in your room?'

'No, I'm out.' Cagalli said shortly. 'I'll come by the hospital later today.'

'Sure…' Renya stared at her phone as Cagalli cut the line. 'Odd…' shrugging, she stuck her phone into her jean pockets and picked up her cup of coffee, draining the rest down her throat, hoping the caffeine would kick in soon after a tiring and stressful night.

Clapping her cellphone shut, Cagalli sat on the edge of the bed, her elbows leaning on her knees, staring out at the window, the sunlight shining into the room. She was never fond of the sunlight from space, it felt so surreal.

Holding her closed cellphone to the side of her head, Cagalli looked over her shoulder. Déjà vu. She remembered staring at him two and a half years ago, the water beating against the shore, sunlight seeping through. She was in a daze that morning, hesitating. She never thought they'd have sex before she left, it was a pleasant surprise, a bittersweet one too.

She left in the end, and everything changed.

'You're awake, right?' Cagalli asked.

'Yeah.' Athrun said quietly, eyes still closed, the sheets pulled halfway down his chest.

'You didn't sleep at all?' Cagalli asked.

'No.' Athrun replied, still with his eyes closed. 'I did two and a half years ago and that was a mistake.'

'It wasn't, trust me.' Cagalli said, turning away again.

Opening his eyes, Athrun looked at her bare back sideways. 'You're right, maybe it wasn't a mistake.'

They fell silent for a brief moment before Cagall stood up. Her bare skin bathing in the sunlight, she started picking up her clothes and tossed them on the bed. Ignoring Athrun's stare, she clasped her bra and pulled her panties on. Dressing herself silently, she pulled her now shoulder length hair out of her hoodie.

'You're windbreakers is outside.' Athrun said, turning onto his side, away from her.

'Thanks.' Cagalli muttered. Grabbing her cellphone again, she turned and made her way towards the door of his bedroom.

'I meant what I said last night Cagalli.' Athrun said quietly as she opened the door.

'And?' Cagalli whispered, her back towards him.

'I'll be here, waiting for you.' Athrun said in a bare whisper.

Pausing, Cagalli looked over her shoulder, watching as Athrun closed his eyes. Without another thought, she stepped out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her.

Was she worth the wait, after what she's done to him? He said he'd love her if she gave him a chance, gave them another chance.

Would she?

**  
End of ****Chapter 6  
**_Next Update: 23rd September_

**A/N:** This chapter is especially for my new beta** Komilla.** Some of you might know her from her YxS fics that are kicking around which by the way are pretty cool. With Komilla doing the editing for me, I think it's time to say bye bye to some of my typos. Also, the new semester is starting in three days, but fear not, I will still have this story updated and finished, I know how unbelievably annoying when stories or never finished, like some out there. I'm not here to point fingers and judge.


	7. Killing Me

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter** **7: Killing Me**

'**_Everyone's entitled to some degree uncertainty, of fear. It's okay to be afraid, to run away, as long as you know where to go in the end, as long as you figure out a path for yourself and do what you have to do.'_**

'What's up Plato?'

Looking up, Athrun blinked blankly at Dearka and Yzak who were standing before him in the Grand Stadium's best café that overlooked the athlete field.

'Plato?' Yzak made a face and sat down on the big easy chair in front of Athrun in full white ZAFT uniform.

Dearka shrugged. 'It was a little nickname Rusty gave him when he was thinking, he used to have his fist on his forehead remember?'

'Ah, yes.' Yzak nodded.

'You've never heard of it?' Dearka asked incredulously.

Rolling his eyes, Yzak turned to the waitress. 'Cinnemon Latte please.'

'Espresso.' Dearka ordered.

'Unlike you,' Yzak paused and sank down into the chair, 'I had more things to do then frolic around with other female soldiers and comment on other people's looks of frustration like you and Rusty.'

Dearka shook his head. 'Yeah, we were a team of bastards.'

Yzak snorted. 'Yeah.'

'What are you guys doing here?' Athrun finally asked, frowning. 'It's closing tomorrow, shouldn't you have a lot of stuff to do?'

'Relax boss.' Dearka said, crossing his arms. 'It's all taken care of, just relax.'

'You're telling him to relax when his girl is down there?' Yzak sneered, looking down at the field.

Dearka snapped his fingers. 'Good point Commander, good point.'

Athrun rolled his eyes and scratched his head. 'She's not my girl, okay? She's… we're nothing, yet.'

'Yet.' Dearka smirked as their coffee came. 'Seriously dude, sometimes you make me wonder if the two of you are meant to be together.'

'Maybe they aren't.' Yzak muttered, blowing at his steaming latte.

'Shut it Jule.' Athrun seethed.

Yzak shrugged. 'It's just a girl, whatever.'

'Are you here to give me relationship advice?' Athrun asked.

Yzak raised his eyebrows. 'Do you want me to?'

'Oh God.' Athrun leaned back down. 'I need to kill myself Dearka, I really need to.'

'Yeah.' Dearka snorted. 'You're getting relationship advice from a person who has been celibate for twenty-two years.'

Athrun choked on his ice coffee while Yzak grabbed the cushion from behind him and threw it at Dearka. 'I'm not a fucking virgin.'

'You're not?' Dearka widened his eyes. 'Dude, you actually did it with a guy?'

Athrun leaned forward, his eyes bugging out. 'You're gay?'

'I am not gay!' Yzak hissed, slamming his mug onto the coffee table before him. 'Where the hell did you get that idea?'

'Ah, you're hair?' Dearka sneered.

'And the rumors about you and Dearka.' Athrun said.

'Yeah, I was like the total victim.' Dearka muttered.

Biting his lower lip, Yzak counted to ten before opening his mouth again. 'Just because I keep my mouth shut about my private life does not mean I am gay nor does it mean I do not have a sexual life with a girl.'

'Oh, so you do get laid.' Dearka sneered. 'Are you sure it's not an imaginary girl?'

Athrun couldn't help but laugh shortly. 'I have to agree with him, I mean, Dearka has the reputation of being a womanizer and I, well… I have Cagalli, despite the two and a half year absence.'

Yzak raised his eyebrows. 'So you were celibate for two and a half years.'

At that, Athrun gritted his teeth. 'Yeah, I think she's imaginary Dearka.'

Dearka snorted. 'Hell yeah, maybe he just masturbates…' he made a face.

'I am this close to chucking this mug into your sorry face.' Yzak hissed.

'Then who is it?' Dearka taunted.

'Someone you and I know, but not Athrun.' Yzak muttered, sitting back.

Dearka narrowed his eyes. 'Since I've known you, you've done nothing but work and then go home and sleep, not even a night of clubbing and… no….'

'What?' Athrun looked at Yzak's smug face and then at Dearka's shocked expression. 'What? Who is it?'

'No, it can't be.' Dearka shook his head and started laughing to himself. 'Dude, you're better off masturbating.'

'Shut up.' Yzak muttered, punching him in the shoulder. 'She's not that bad, she satisfies me.'

Dearka laughed harder and pointed a finger at him. 'I can't believe he's saying that that tomboy satisfies him, he might as well be gay.'

'Who is it?' Athrun demanded.

'It's Shiho Hahnenfuss.' Dearka jeered. 'He's hooking up with his work wife.'

'Are you serious?' Athrun turned to Yzak wide eyed. 'You're dipping your pen into the company ink?'

Yzak shrugged. 'Just giving each other what we need. She's practically the only girl I have contact with and sometimes she's as horny as I am.'

'So it's a purely sexual relationship between you two?' Dearka shook his head and whistled when Yzak shrugged. 'Dude…'

'Well, we did say that if neither of us got married by time we're forty, we'd probably hook up or something.' Yzak muttered.

'So if she sleeps with another guy, you're cool with it.' Dearka said carefully.

Yzak shrugged. 'Whatever, she probably has.'

'Who would have known.' Athrun shook his head. 'I'm even more pathetic than Yzak Jule.'

'Hey, I don't like what you're implying there mister.' Yzak sneered pointing a finger at him.

'I don't know what I'm implying anymore.' Athrun muttered, pulling at his fringes. 'Seriously, I'm lost, like literally lost, in a maze or something.'

Dearka sighed loudly. 'Are you guys sleeping together or something?'

Athrun shrugged. 'Yeah?'

'Do you love her?' Yzak asked.

'I don't know anymore.' Athrun said quietly. 'But I'm sure that, what we had before was not love at all.'

'Then why are you even sleeping with her now?' Yzak asked impatiently.

'I don't know.' Athrun muttered. 'Tomorrow's closing and uh, I may never see her again.'

Dearka pursed his lips. 'I don't know, maybe having goodbye sex will do you good, give you some closure or something.' He raised his eyebrows when Athrun glared at him. 'What? Can you think of a better explanation?'

'No.' Athrun sighed. 'You're right. I've got to end this or I'm just going make my life more miserable than it already is. I don't know if I can take another blow.'

'So?' Yzak raised his eyebrows. 'You're going to break it off with her?

Sighing, Athrun looked out the window and narrowed his eyes. 'Probably.'

'Probably.' Dearka shook his head and snorted. 'That means you're not.'

'How are you suppose to just break it off?' Athrun asked quietly. 'Even if it wasn't love, how could she? How could I?'

Dearka through his hands into the hair. 'Jesus, you're starting to talk like a woman! Look, that stupid charity cocktail thing is on closing night, ask her to come.'

'And how is that going to help things?' Yzak asked dryly.

Dearka shrugged. 'I don't know, but if she comes and shows herself to public with you, then that means, that there's still a chance between you, that she's going to give you a chance.'

Athrun eyed Dearka suspiciously. 'Since when your have plans pan out?'

'Hey!' Dearka pointed one finger at him. 'I happen to be the mastermind.'

'You got your second chance, just don't blow it okay?' Standing up, Yzak brushed himself off. 'Get going Elthman, we got work to do.'

'What? We've barely been here for ten minutes.' Dearka muttered, draining down the rest of his espresso..

'We've got some notes from public communications saying we have to rearrange the media pit.' Yzak said. 'Last minute tunings if you will.'

'Fine.' Grunting, Dearka stood up. 'Think it over dude, the man's right, you don't get chances like this.'

'I guess.' Athrun said. 'Thanks.'

Dearka shrugged while Yzak smirked. 'No problem.'

Leaving Athrun alone to think again, Dearka and Yzak stepped out of the café after paying. 'You've got the black list right?'

'Yeah.' Dearka said, checking his palm. 'We've already done all the arrangements. What are the notes PC gave us?'

'They want us to set up a new media pit in zone F.' Yzak said as they walked across the hall. 'I've looked at the plans, it shouldn't be a problem, mainly for the new arriving journalists and photographers PC had granted access to.'

'New?' Dearka frowned.

'Yeah.' Yzak turned and saw Dearka stop in his tracks, looking down at the field. 'You okay?'

Dearka paused before looking at Yzak again. 'Are you and Shiho really fuck buddies?'

Yzak raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. 'Are you jealous or something or do you think that I'm incapable of having a sex life?'

'No.' Dearka muttered. 'It's just…'

Yzak frowned. 'What?"

Dearka shook his head. 'Nothing. It's just dangerous, that's all, to have a sexual relationship with no strings attached, it doesn't exist. Just be careful.'

Yzak's frown deepened as he watched Dearka pass by him. Looking down at his own palm, he scanned through the list of journalists and couldn't help but exhale loudly at the very last name. Turning around, he followed Dearka, knowing that after what his dearest friend and comrade had been through, his words had truth in them.

* * *

Every time that doorbell rang at night, Athrun felt his heart beat. No one ever came to him at night, no one except recently her. They didn't talk a lot, usually have a drink or something and then before he knew it, they'd be making out, as if making up for the time they had lost. The problem was… he didn't know what the problem was, he only knew there was a problem.

Maybe they were right, maybe they should break it off, make a clean cut. You might bleed, you might even lose a part of you forever, but it was better then letting it hang, right?

Right?

Feeling their climax subside, Athrun opened his eyes slowly and found himself staring at Cagalli, her eyes half shrouded by her hair. On the table beside the couch they were lying on, the table light was dimly lit.

'You really should change the light bulb.' Cagalli whispered against his lips.

'I've been busy.' Athrun said absently, slipping himself out of her. Busy was an excuse, he just didn't want to see too clearly, he just wanted the moment to last until until reality kicks in, sooner than he would hope.

Feeling Cagalli slide down and lean her head on his abdomen, Athrun reached down and dug one hand into her messy hair.

Opening her eyes again, Cagalli listened to him breathing in and out slowly while unconsciously caressing the side of his waist. 'Why didn't we do this earlier?'

Athrun frowned slightly. 'What do you mean? We did it the first time two and a half years ago, in a cave, if you need to be reminded.'

'Not that time.' Cagalli said softly. 'Before the second war when you were closest to me.'

'We were young then.' Athrun said absently.

'So? Kira did it with Fllay when he was sixteen.' Cagalli murmured absently.

'What?' Athrun's eyebrows furrowed as he looked down. 'How did you know?'

Cagalli shot a sheepish glance at him. 'It was before I knew he was my brother, he had an argument with Siigh about Fllay and she just happened to spill it out by accident. I was totally innocent, I was just walking by.'

'Right.' Athrun muttered, taking her hand. 'That little bastard.'

Cagalli lowered her eyes and watched as Athrun squeezed her hand. 'You think… you think things would have turned out different if we did have sex before the second war? Would you have left if we had that kind of attachment back then?'

Athrun kept silent for a long moment before letting go of her hand. 'I'm not answering that question and I think you have your own answer anyway.' Pushing her away gently, he sat up for a brief moment before standing up. Kneeling on the couch, Cagalli watched sideways as Athrun picked up his discarded boxers and pulled them on. Walking to the kitchen, he poured himself a glass of water, his back to her. She was about to open her mouth again when the buzzing of a cell phone cut through the air.

'It's not mine.' Athrun said shortly, looking over his shoulder.

'It's mine.' Cagalli said quietly. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she stood up and searched for her cell phone, cursing under her breath, finally locating it in the pocket of her wind breaker.

'You're on call tonight?' Athrun asked quietly.

'Yes.' Cagalli said without looking up. Sighing at the display, Cagalli racked one hand through her hair and leaned back against the couch, her naked body shrouded in the extremely dim light.

Before the second war when they were always together, he never really thought of her, she was always there, he took it for granted. Her presence made him comfortable, made him worthwhile, it gave him a reason to live. After she left, he found yet another reason to continue on with his life, to make use of it, but somehow, something was missing.

After all this time, he dare not take anything for granted, take her for granted. He treasured their moments together, steal glance at her, hold her tight when they fell asleep. He had a gut wrenching feeling that this wouldn't last, that all this was just going to be a means of closure in the end when the time came for her to go back to her own life and him to his.

He didn't want her to leave. He didn't, he just didn't. If she would just give him another chance, he knew that things would turn out better. If only, if only…

Setting his glass down with controlled force, Athrun walked up to the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her close to him. He breathed into her ear while she listened to the phone with the other. He could feel her warm up under his touch.

'I have to go.' Cagalli said quietly, snapping her phone shut.

Athrun sighed loudly and looked up. 'It's three in the morning.'

'I know.' Cagalli said. 'It's work.'

'It's your life.' Athrun said, letting her go. 'A life that I'm not involved in at all.'

Looking over her shoulder, Cagalli watched as Athrun turned and leaned against the back of the couch with his arms crossed, his face barely visible. Trying to refrain from sighing, Cagalli stood up and started dressing herself again.

'Tomorrow's closing.' Athrun said quietly, his back still to her.

'I know.' Cagalli replied in an even quieter voice as she pulled on her Team Scandanavia T-shirt.

'Why are you even here?' Athrun asked as he heard her turn the door knob, still refusing to turn around. 'Giving me hope.'

Biting her lower lip, Cagalli looked down and sighed. 'I don't know, it's probably, I'm probably just trying to imagine what it would be like if we had been together, if the second war never happened, if you never left, if I never left.' She shook her head and looked over her shoulder at Athrun's back. 'Maybe I'm just trying to give myself false hope.'

'False hope.' Athrun murmured as the door closed. He couldn't help but laugh at himself bitterly. 'Is that all I can be?'

A little voice inside him said no, but he just didn't know if he should go down that road again and give himself hope. One could only be disappointed so many times.

* * *

'Are you sure?' Cagalli asked, her eyebrows furrowed. 'I mean, you do know that you're going against medical advice, and you can end up tearing your Achilles again if you go for the 800m.'

'Lighten up doc.' Maruis Mora gave Cagalli a pat on the shoulder and stood up. 'Sometimes you make us nervous, you know that?'

'Hello, you're the one who called me at three in the morning.' Cagalli muttered, taking her plastic gloves off.

'Was I interrupting something?' Maruis asked smugly, crossing his arms.

'If you were, would you shut up?' Cagalli asked slyly, picking up her board.

'Were you?' Another voice asked from behind her.

Looking over her shoulder briefly, Cagalli rolled her eyes at Renya. 'Please don't start with me, I've had a long day.'

'I have to report to the Marshall now for my final event.' Maruis said, jumping up and down. 'Got to love Decathalons!'

'Yeah yeah, whatever.' Cagalli muttered.

'Have some faith in me doc!' Maruis chirped with a wink before leaving.

'Yeah, have some faith in yourself doc.' Renya sneered, sitting down on the bench beside her.

'Not now Renya.' Cagalli said, pointing her pen at her.

'Did you get something you didn't want?' Renya taunted, crossing her arms.

Cagalli glared at her. 'I'm warning you.'

'Fine.' Renya rolled her eyes and stood up. 'Tomorrow's closing, you must be the happiest one.'

Pausing, Cagalli looked up at Renya with a huge smile that sent goosebumps up her spine. 'Don't you have a lot to wrap up Aunt Renya.'

'I'm going.' Renya said quickly and darted out of sight before Cagalli had a chance to kick her.

Sighing heavily, Cagalli returned to her chart and scribbled away for a few more seconds before an annoying flashlight made her seethe. 'Look, I'm not an athlete nor am I Cagalli Yula Attha so will you just buzz off?'

'Then you really look like my friend.' A voice rang from above her head.

Blinking, Cagalli's eyebrows furrowed. Lifting her head, she tilted her baseball cap up slightly and found herself staring into aqua blue eyes of Miriallia Haww.

'How's it going?' Miriallia smiled, camera in hand.

She had never been that close with Miriallia, not even during her Archangel days. Miriallia had her friends, Siigh, Tolle and of course Kira. She had sort of barged into Archangel after the Barfield incident at Tassil and never really had a chance to break into their group, rather never really cared as she had her own things to worry about. She never really was good at making friends, still isn't and sometimes, she regretted not knowing the crew better, the crew who was the reason she was still standing here alive.

'I have to say I was kind of shocked at your resignation two and a half years ago.' Miriallia said, punching the button on the vending machines twice. 'You caught everyone by surprise.' She tossed a can of ice coffee to her.

'Thanks.' Cagalli muttered, catching it.

'Resigning number one, and disappearing number two.' Mirialli smirked, popping the can open. 'You do know you made all hell freeze over right?'

'I'm fully aware of that Miriallia.' Cagalli said, holding her can up. 'What are you doing here?' she asked after a quick sip.

Miriallia crossed her arms and looked out at the field. 'I got myself a contract, I work for The Globe now.'

Cagalli smiled. 'How is it? The Globe is like the best selling newspaper around here.'

Miriallia shrugged. 'I don't know, can't complain. All expenses paid, I get to travel the world. The only thing I don't really is that sometimes I feel restricted.'

'It's give and take.' Cagalli said, looking down at her can.

'Like you?' Miriallia asked quietly.

'I guess.' Cagalli smirked. 'Have you seen Dearka around?' Mirialllia just shrugged, at that, Cagalli couldn't help but raise her eyebrows. 'What exactly happened to you two after he left Archangel? Murdoch said you said you dumped him, is that true?'

'Do you want to hear the long version or the short version?' Miriallia asked.

'Which ever one you'll give me.' Cagalli said, shrugging.

'Let's just say, we had differences.' Miriallia said.

'Wow, that's not vague at all.' Cagalli said flatly.

At that, Miriallia laughed. 'I know.' She paused and looked at Cagalli. 'What about you, what about you Athrun? I heard you broke everything off after your resignation.'

'More like ran away.' Cagalli said quietly.

'That's the worst thing one can do.' Miriallia said, sighing. 'But it's understandable, and in most cases forgivable.'

Cagalli looked up at Miriallia. 'You really think so?'

Mirialli amsiled. 'Why not? Everyone's entitled to some degree uncertainty, of fear. It's okay to be afraid, to run away, as long as you know where to go in the end, as long as you figure out a path for yourself and do what you have to do. You made the right decision Cagalli, leaving, it was for the best and Orb understands it.'

'I hope so.' Cagalli said before draining down the rest of her coffee. 'So are you going to find Dearka? If you want I can contact him for you.'

'Nah.' MIriallia shook her head. 'I'm sure he has girlfriend or something. Besides, I'm leaving the day after closing.'

'Have you been in contact with him for the last for years?' Cagalli asked, frowning.

Miriallia shrugged and tossed the can into the bin nearby. 'Never really tried.'

Cagalli's frowned deepened. 'Really?'

Miriallia gave her a small smile. 'Are leaving right after closing?'

Cagalli paused before nodding. 'I guess.'

'I'll see you around then.' Pushing herself off the wall, Miriallia gave her a wink before slinging her camera bag over her shoulder. Cagalli watched as she turned and headed for the exit until she suddenly turned around, looking down at the floor. 'You know…'

'Yes?' Cagalli said softly. She didn't know Miriallia well, but she knew that she had changed a great deal, a change only she knew how painful it was, like herself.

'During war, there were things that you couldn't control.' Miriallia said quietly. 'People, that you couldn't control and it's painful. You're controlling your emotion now, you have been since you left, since Athrun left. Sometimes it works, but sometimes… it's just a different kind of pain all together and it'll eat you alive.'

Cagalli's eyebrows furrowed. 'Miriallia, why are you… forget it.'

'Maybe it's because sometimes we miss the Cagalli that Orb loved, that changed Athrun's life, and everyone's life.' Miriallia replied. 'Sometimes, it's better to let things to let things to take their own course, to follow your heart, and I know and you know that sometimes what your heart wants you to do is not want the reasoning in your brain allows you to, but you still got to do it.'

'Thank you Miriallia.' Cagalli said softly.

Miriallia just nodded with a smile. 'Your welcome.'

* * *

Walking down the white halls of the hospital in the Athletes Village, Cagalli pushed the door to room 2030 and stepped in.

Looking away from the window, Orsic gave Cagalli a lopsided grin. 'Hey.'

'How's your wound doing?' Cagalli asked, holding up his right arm.

'Feeling better.' Orsic said, wincing slightly as Cagalli bent it. 'It's been a week.'

'Well, considering I'm on call this week, cut me some slack.' Cagalli said, giving him a smile before looking down at his chart. When she didn't get a response after a few moments, Cagalli looked up and found herself staring into his clear eyes. 'What?'

'Nothing.' Orsic shook his head. 'It's just still hard to believe that the Yula Caitir I knew for two years is actually the most influential politician during the war. How could you?'

Her pen pausing on the paper, Cagalli looked up. 'Orsic, my past is not worth mentioning anymore. For all I know, you should be pissed off that I was Cagalli Yula Attha considering you got shot instead me.'

Orsisc sighed. 'I understand why you didn't tell us, why you're tried to hide away the real you.'

'The real me?' Cagalli repeated.

'We've been your best friend for the last two years and yet you're still so distance, so hard to get. I've always wondered why and I finally got the answer.' Orsic gave her a small smile. 'You're not Yula Caitir, you're Cagalli Yula Attha.'

'I'm not Attha anymore.' Cagalli said quietly, setting her board down and sticking her pen into her breast pocket. 'I'm just an ordinary person trying live a life.'

'You've never been ordinary.' Orsic said.

'You know nothing Orsic.' Cagalli said in a low voice, looking away. 'War changes everyone.'

Orsic looked at her for a moment before looking down. 'He came.'

Caglali looked up. 'Who?'

'Athrun Zala.' Orsic said, watching the blood drain from Cagalli's face. 'Yeah, he came to see if I was alright. I owe him actually, or I might have died.' He paused briefly. 'He told me a lot about you, the real you.'

Sighing, Cagalli sat down on his bed. 'The real me. Who is real me?'

'The you who fought until the very end.' Orsic replied. 'The you who never gave up, who'd cry on his shoulder until you found a solution, the fighter.'

'I'm no fighter.' Cagalli whispered, looking down. 'I'm just a struggler, holding onto something I didn't deserve, couldn't handle.'

'Why did you leave him? Why did you abandon your relationship with him?' ORsic asked quietly.

Cagalli looked at him briefly. 'There was no relationship, we were just two people who needed comfort at the time of war, at the time despair. Pathetic right?'

'No.' Orsic shook his head and took her hand. 'It's understandable. I've never been in the war, I was protected by Scandanavia the whole time, I guess we were just lucky.' He paused and gave her hand a squeeze. 'Look, what you two have is something precious. I maybe an outsider but sometimes people who aren't in the situation get a fresher perspective. It may not have been a relationship, but I can see that what you two have, what you two went through, is something more than just a relationship. Isn't it always about the journey?'

'You sound like my brother.' Cagalli said.

Orsic sighed. 'I have to admit it. You do know I had a crush on you.'

'Had, past tense.' Cagalli said, holding up one finger.

'Past tense.' Orsic nodded, letting go of her hand. Reach up is left arm, he took her cap off slowly and ruffled her hair. 'You might just want to give yourself a chance before you hit yourself when it passes.'

'It's more than just giving it another chance Orsic.' Cagalli said quietly.

Orsic just smiled. 'So it is, make it work.'

Make it work.

Have they ever actually tried. Before the second war, they were so busy, so preoccupied. Maybe they just thought that being together was already it, that by being together, there was no other work that needed to be done.

Were they really that naïve to believe that that was it?

Unlocking the door to her room, Cagalli walked into her dark room and closed the door, leaning against it. Taking her hat off, she looked sideways at the fancy embroidered bag sitting on her desk. Walking up to it slowly, she took a black envelop out and opened it, her eyes scanning the message again.

_Cagalli, _

_One last chance, that's all I ask. Come to the closing banquet with me, I'll be waiting for you at the grand entrance of the banquet hall at seven. _

_Athrun. _

Reaching into the bag, Cagalli took out an elegant turquoise dress and matching white heels. Athrun always said turquoise was her color. No matter how much time changed them, Athrun still seemed to be the only one who knew her, the only one she'd allow to know her.

_'If I was given another chance in another place, at another time… I would fall in love with you.' _

He knew her, no matter how much she changed, how much they changed, he knew her.

_'I'll be here, waiting for you.'_

'You're killing me Athrun.' Cagalli whispered, holding the dress to herself. 'You know that right?

* * *

Peeling her gloves off, Cagalli stuck them into the trash bin and sighed heavily. It was finally over, the Olion Games were finally over.

She should be happy, right?

'Hey.'

Looking up abruptly, Cagalli widened her eyes. 'Dearka? What are you doing here?'

Dearka smirked, leaning against the doorframe. 'You are one of our top priorities, if you care to know.'

'As long as you guys don't bother with my work, then I'm fine.' Cagalli said, taking her lab coat off.

'You know, it's still hard to believe that you're a doctor.' Dearka muttered, uncrossing his arms.

'Really?' Cagalli muttered, rolling her eyes.

'No seriously.' Dearka said. 'I always imagined you being in military or… a personal trainer?'

'Shut up.' Cagalli said, throwing her lab coat at him.

'So, are you going?' Dearka asked, tossing her lab coat on the counter beside him.

'Going where?' Cagalli asked absently, snapping her file shut.

'It's closing.' Dearka said. 'Are you going to the closing ceremony?'

'Are you like a spy or something? Because if you are, you aren't really doing a good job.' Cagalli sneered.

'I just love pissing you off.' Dearka smirked, hopping onto the counter. 'You know what I'm talking about. Athrun invited you to the banquet.'

'The team's having a party tonight.' Cagalli said.

'Sounds better than those banquets.' Dearka muttered, crossing his arms.

'Don't you have work to do?' Cagalli asked. 'I thought you were in charge of the security.'

'Yzak is.' Dearka said. 'I'm just a follower.'

'Right.' Cagalli sneered.

'So are you going?' Dearka asked.

Cagalli shot him a brief glance. 'I don't know. You tell me? Should I go?'

'You're asking me?' Dearka raised his eyebrows.

'I'm pathetic, asking you for advice.' Cagalli muttered.

'Hey!' Dearka pointed one finger at her. 'I'm not that bad.

'Look, I just… I just can't afford to give myself hope again, okay?' Cagalli threw her hands up in the air. 'I mean, it's proven that I can't give people happiness and I have no right to give people hope, I can't give Athrun hope, I don't want to see him go through the agony of waiting and hoping again.'

'Be with him, that's all you have to do.' Dearka said shortly.

'Easy for you to say.' Cagalli muttered.

'It's not.' Dearka said, a little bit too curtly. Realizing his sudden bluntness, he sighed and gave his unruly tousled hair a rack. 'I'm sorry.'

'I saw Miriallia.' Cagalli said softly. 'Have you guys been in touch?'

Dearka just gave a short laugh and shook his head. 'Depends on what you mean by in touch.'

'If you're here to convince me, you've got to set yourself as an example.' Cagalli said with a smirk.

Making a face, Dearka grabbed her lab coat and threw it at her. 'Yeah right smarty pants.'

Catching the coat, Cagalli laughed shortly. 'I'll see you later.'

'He's going to wait for you.' Dearka said before stepping out. 'You know that he will and no matter what your decision is, this is your last change for closure. Give yourself and him a proper ending.'

'Yeah.' Cagalli whispered, nodding. 'Thank you Dearka, for everything.'

'No problem.'

After Dearka left, Cagalli continued packing up, putting the team supplies onto a cart and pushing it out. Closing the door, she locked it, feeling a sigh of relief escaping from her lips.

'Hey, can I give you a hand?'

Turning, Cagalli blinked, not knowing how to react at Alix who was already dressed in his team track suit.

'Taking it to the truck?' Alix asked, his eyebrows raised.

'Yeah.' Cagalli said, nodding. 'Thanks.'

'No problem.' Alix gave her a small smile and took over.

They walked in silence for a while. When they reached the elevator, Cagalli opened her mouth. 'I'm sorry.'

'For what?' Alix asked as they entered the lift.

'For everything, for silver, for ruining your chances of being an Olion champion.' Cagalli said quietly.

'Yula,' Alix paused, staring up at the display, 'I don't know what you've been through, I don't know about your past nor do I want to know. You're Yula, the Yula Caitir I knew from SATA and a dear friend of mine. I should be the one apologizing for losing it. Orsic was right, I have no right to judge you for who you were in the past, I guess the gold… it just wasn't meant to be.'

'Thank you.' Cagalli whispered, giving him a small smile.

'You're welcome.' Alix said, sighing, giving her a smirk. 'So we're cool?'

'We're cool.' Cagalli said, nodding.

Pushing the cart to the truck, Alix helped Cagalli load up the surprise and slammed the trunk shut. Patting his hands clean, he crossed his arms. 'So, are you coming to closing? I have to.'

'Nah.' Cagalli shook her head. 'I have tickets, but I figured I'd rather stay here and get some peace and quiet.'

'Party pooper.' Alix muttered. 'So I take that you're not going to come to the party.'

'I'll think about it.' Cagalli smirked.

Exhaling loudly, Alix shook his head. 'I don't get you. One of these days, we're going to tie you up and make you go to Sigtuna, I thought your Mother was Scandanavian! Your aunt even has a cabin there.'

'I'll go this year.' Cagalli said.

At that, Alix's eyes bugged out. 'Really?'

Cagalli nodded. 'Yeah, why not? I've mopped around long enough.'

Alix rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, when have ever been happy?'

Cagalli paused before shrugging. 'That's actually a good question.'

'It's a deal then.' Giving her a wink, Alix turned and jogged down the path. 'Don't forget Yula!'

Laughing, Cagalli waved at him and stood there for a few minutes, watching him disappear around the corner. Pulling her coat closer, she shivered slightly at the afternoon breeze as she made her way down the opposite way. She walked slower than usual, smiling as some athletes passed by, seeing the curiosity in their eyes. When she reached her dormitory, she was surprised to find it deserted. Shrugging, she stepped into her room once again, the first thing her eyes laid on being the turquoise silk dress that was hanging on the coat tree beside her desk. Turning her head away abruptly, she collapsed on her bed and closed her eyes briefly.

When had she ever been really happy? With Athrun.

The two years before the war was hard, but thinking back, she was happy just seeing him there, just looking at him. They may had been too young to understand what love was, but she was happy, just… just glad that he was around to take care of her, look after her, guard over her, protect her.

_'I will protect you Cagalli.' _

_'I'm so glad I met you Cagalli.' _

_'I know I'm not match with Yuna Roma…' _

_'You were here the whole time?' _

_'Do you know who I was thinking of the whole time?' _

_'When have I ever been rough?' _

_'I don't think I have to wait anymore Cagalli, I'm back.' _

_'I may never have loved you in the past, during the war, even when we were physically together, but if I was given another chance in another place, at another time… I would fall in love with you.' _

'I would too.' Cagalli whispered, opening her eyes again. She widened her eyes as tears suddenly streamed down her cheeks. Sitting up, she felt for her fourth finger and shook her head violently. Turning her head, she shot a glance at the digital clock mounted on her desk and stood up. It was already dark outside and the clock read seven fifteen. She had fallen asleep.

'Damn it!' Cagalli muttered, jumping off the bed, she quickly threw off her clothes and pulled on the dress, grunting at the zipper on the side. Pulling her hair back, she pulled it in a tight bun. Stepping her feet into the matching white heels, she threw her door open and flounced down the hallway. When she reached the entrance, she found that the athletes who were in the closing ceremony were making their way up in a huge pack. Ignoring the stares, she rushed past them in the opposite direction, vaguely hearing Ulrika And Alix's voice from afar.

Feeling herself slightly out of breath, she looked at herself in the glass panel, smoothing down her hair, shivering slightly at the nocturnal breeze. Counting to ten, she took a deep breath and gave herself a small smile.

'You can do this.' Cagalli whispered. 'You can do this Cagalli, just, step out there and give yourself a chance.'

Holding one hand to her chest, Cagalli let her breath out and opened her eyes again. Giving her reflection one more reassuring nod, she turned the corner.

At first, she thought she was just imagining things, but after a while, she realized that she wasn't as her smile fading, her orange orbs trembling as she watched Athrun enter the banquet hall with Meyrin Hawke.

**End of Chapter 7**


	8. Band Aid

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter** **8: Band Aid**

'**_Maybe it is time to move on. I'm tired of guessing, tired of wondering, tired of waiting and thinking of the word "if".'_**

'Mr. Zala.' The ZAFT soldier guarding the entrance walked up to him. 'It's almost time to close the doors.'

'I know.' Athrun muttered, nodding to the couple who made their way in.

'Are you waiting for someone?' He asked, shifting the rifle on his shoulder.

'Yeah.' Athrun said quietly.

'Someone special?'

Athrun turned and smiled at him. 'Just… yeah, someone very special to me.'

'I'm sure she is.'

Sighing loudly, Athrun gave his watch a brief tap and looked up again. Would she come? She had to.

'Athrun!'

Athrun almost jumped at the clicking of heels from behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled as Meyrin walked up to him. 'Are they waiting?'

Meyrin nodded. 'You're the directing chair, you're giving the speech.'

'I know.' Athrun shifted slightly. 'It's already seven twenty.'

'Are you waiting for her?' Meyrin asked, eyeing Athrun.

Athrun sighed. 'Who else can I be waiting for Meyrin?'

'I guess no one but Cagalli Yula Attha.' Meyrin said quietly.

'Where's Shinn?' Athrun asked. 'I thought I saw Lunamaria a while ago.'

'He's gone to one those Athlete parties since he's the silver medalist of the marathon.' Meyrin said. 'He'll be here, he'll just drop by the party, you know, make a presence.'

'Yeah.' Athrun nodded absently, still looking afar.

'Sir, we have to close the doors now.' The soldier looked at him.

'If she comes, she will come and if she doesn't,' Meyrin paused, 'it'll be time for you to move on.' When Athrun just turned and looked at her, Meyrin sighed and smoothed his collar down, brushing his shoulders. 'It's time.'

'You're right Meyrin.' Nodding, Athrun motioned for her to go in first while nodding to the soldier who closed the doors behind him. Taking a deep breath, he walked down the long hallway with Meyrin behind him, stepping into the banquet hall with everyone inside applauding.

He had never been so unfocused in his entire life, he kept wondering why she didn't come. Was she scared? Did she not want to face a crowd in public? Or was it just him. It was most likely him. She wasn't going to give him a chance after all, right?

'Hey Athrun.' Walking up to him with a glass of champagne in hand, Shinn gave him a pat on the shoulder.

'Congratulations.' Athrun held out his hand.

'You said that to me in ceremony.' Shinn smirked, shaking his hand. 'Well, didn't get gold, but there's always four years later.'

'Yeah.' Athrun nodded.

'Will you still be in the committee?' Lunamaria asked.

Athrun shrugged. 'I honestly don't know, I don't know if I'll even stay in politics after this.'

Meyrin blinked. 'You want to resign?'

'I don't know.' Athrun sighed loudly. 'Maybe, maybe not. We'll see when I report to Orb after I wrap things up around here.'

'Beautiful work Zala.' A man in his mid-thirties who was also in the committee came up to him.

'Thank you Mr. Sucos.' Athrun bowed his head. 'I learnt a lot from you.'

'You've paid your dues Zala, you've set a good example and everyone has you to thank.' Sucos gave him an encouraging nod. 'You're the man.'

'Thank you.'

'You're the man.' Shinn smirked when Sucos left.

'Don't make fun of me, I have enough of that on my back.' Athrun muttered, taking a sip from his champagne.

'So when are we leaving?' Lunamaria asked.

'That fast?' Shinn frowned.

'It's my grandma's birthday tomorrow, we countdown midnight every year.' Lunamaria said.

'Yes, almost forgot.' Shinn nodded, turning to Athrun. 'You coming?'

'Ah, I don't know.' Athrun said absently.

'You promised my grandma last year.' Meyrin reminded. 'Are you still thinking of waiting for her?'

'Waiting for who?' Shinn asked in confusion.

'Cagalli I presume?' Lunamaria asked, her eyebrows raised.

Athrun sighed loudly. 'I sort of gave her an invitation but I think it's safe to say that she stood me up.'

'Talk about closure.' Lunamaria muttered.

'Strange…' Shinn set his glass down on the table beside him and rubbed his chin. 'I thought I just saw her at the party.'

Athrun looked up at him abruptly. 'What?'

'Yeah.' Shinn nodded. 'She was uh, she came in like late when you know, the beer were going. Strange enough, she was in this really nice evening gown and like of course every one stopped. She just walked up to the bar and stood there for like a whole minute before she started ordering Vodka shots so I though, cool.'

Lunamaria stared at him. 'Vodka shots? She's hardcore.'

'Maybe you should check out on her.' Meyrin said, giving his sleeve a slight pull.

Draining down the rest of his champagne, he set it down slowly and looked up, smiling. 'It's already eleven, shall we people?'

* * *

'I kept my promise.' Pulling in front of the dormitory Meyrin lived in at one of Aprillius One's most prestigious universities, Athrun pulled on the breaks and turned to Meyrin. 'It was fun.'

'My grandma's great isn't she?' Meyrin smiled. 'She really likes you.'

'I'm glad.' Athrun nodded. He paused for a moment before opening his mouth again. 'I'll be kind of free a week from now, so if you want to call me and hang out or something, I'd be glad to do so.'

Sighing, Meyrin placed one hand over Athrun's. 'Athrun, you don't have to do this.'

Athrun narrowed his eyes and turned to her. 'Do what?'

'This.' Meyrin said quietly, giving his hand a squeeze. 'You've always said that running away is not the best solution to things, it's not going to make things better. Cagalli did it and look what kind of a spot you two are in now?'

'She gave up.' Athrun said quietly.

'She didn't give up, she came.' Meyrin said.

'She could have walked in, she was afraid.' Athrun said in a bare whisper. 'Maybe it is time to move on. I'm tired of guessing, tired of wondering, tired of waiting and thinking of the word "if".' He paused before taking a deep breath. 'I need a break too, she's not the only one who's reached breaking point.'

Gulping, Meyrin took his hand into hers and looked at him. 'You know, if it were before, if you said this two years ago when Cagalli was still with you, I'd be so happy, but now… you're just breaking my heart. You're not like this, you don't give up a fight and have the patience to wait until she says no, she says she doesn't want to be with that, that she wants to be Yula Caitir and live a life with out Athrun Zala. She hasn't said those words so Athrun Zala will not cave until she says so and you will not let her.'

'Meyrin…' Athrun looked into her watery eyes and gave her hand a squeeze. 'Why are you doing this? Why do you like me?'

'I think I fell in love with you Athrun.' Meyrin said quietly with a small smile on her face.

'You shouldn't have.' Athrun whispered. 'It'll just make you miserable, like Cagalli, but a different kind of misery.'

'It is miserable.' Meyrin said, nodding. 'For two years, I've tried to find someone else but every guy I meet, I just can't help but compare him to you. It's hard to find someone like you, or maybe it's just you.'

'You know that, even if I can never be with Cagalli, we won't…' Athrun paused, 'it won't work between us.'

'I know.' Nodding, Meyrin let go of his hand and sighed. 'Sometimes I hate you for it.'

Athrun frowned. 'What?'

Meyrin give him a smile. 'It's not like I haven't tried to move on in the last few years. You just set the bar too high for them.'

Athrun gave her a small smile, shaking his head. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.' Meyrin said quietly. 'What you two have is something we will never have.'

'You're wrong.' Athrun said quietly. 'We were never in love.'

Reaching out one hand, Meyrin caressed his cheek. 'It was probably more than love.'

Athrun widened his eyes briefly before nodding. 'Yeah, probably.'

Guiding his head down, Meyrin kissed him on the forehead. 'Promise me you will find her, not for anyone, but for yourself. You deserve to be selfish when it comes to your own happiness.'

'Thank you.' Athrun whispered.

'You're welcome.' Giving him one last smile, Meyrin opened the door and stepped out, holding her purse tightly to her chest. 'Goodbye Athrun.'

Giving her one last look, Athrun nodded with a small smile. 'Goodbye Meyrin.'

Holding her hand up, Meyrin gave him a small wave as he released the breaks and steered out of the parking lot. She felt tears well up as the tail lights of his black sedan seemed to fade into the night. Blinking, she felt the tears stream down her cheeks.

Athrun Zala was a very special person to her, he would always be. It started out as a meaningless and silly girl crush yet somehow, this admiration pushed to her to the limit, pushed her to do something she never dreamt she'd do. Betraying ZAFT had made her realize that it wasn't just about obeying orders, it was about obeying your heart and Athrun Zala was the one who taught her all this.

She was the world's silliest person to think that Athrun Zala would return her love because she helped him through the biggest crises of his life. He was right, it would kill her to think that he was with her out of pure gratitude.

She was jealous, she was always jealous of Cagalli Yula Attha. She remembered the last time she saw her before Archangel launched for the last time from Orb. She was still in her ZAFT uniform, dealing with some paper work when she came by with a crowd behind her. She had a presence, a presence Athrun too had. She was surprised when Cagalli had asked her to take care of Athrun and at that moment, she thought Cagalli had given up on her relationship with Athrun for various reasons they all knew.

She really thought she had a chance, but the more she got to know Athrun Zala, the more she realized that he was not an easy person to get through, he would not let someone enter his heart easily. Lunamaria couldn't, Mia Campbell couldn't, she herself couldn't and the more she observed, the more she was certain that neither Lacus Clyne could in the past.

But one could, Cagalli Yula Attha could. Deep down, Meyrin Hawke knew that after so much they've been through, together and apart, they were truly meant to be.

'Goodbye Athrun.'

* * *

'Are you Athrun Zala?'

Raising his eyebrows, Athrun took a step back as a girl with long platinum blonde hair stumbled towards him with a beer in hand.

'Uh, yeah.' Athrun nodded uncomfortably.

'Hi, I'm Ulrika!' Ulrika raised her hand out and shook his with force. Clearly she was drunk.

'Are you guys having a party here?' Athrun asked, frowning.

'Yeah, what do you think we're doing?' Alix asked, motioning his head towards the confetti's that were sprawled everywhere down the hall.

'You look familiar.' Athrun said. 'Have I seen you before?'

'You're looking for Yula aren't you?' Alix sneered, his eyes half closed.

'Yeah.' Athrun nodded.

'She's so pissed drunk.' Ulrika slurred, holding onto Athrun's shoulder.

Athrun's frown deepened. 'What? She's drunk?'

'Hell yeah.' Alix smirked. 'She did like ten Vodka shots and didn't even throw up, who'd know that Yula Caitir knew how to drink.'

'Where is she?' Athrun demanded.

'You're looking for Cagalli?' Another voice asked.

'Yeah.' Athrun nodded at Renya who had her sleeves rolled up.

'Come with me.' Renya sighed, motioning his head.

Turning two corners, Athrun couldn't help but hold his breath at the sight Cagalli who was sprawled on the floor in front of her door, the straps to the turquoise evening gown he gave her hanging over her shoulder, one of her heels tossed aside, a beer bottle still in hand.

'She's dead weight, she won't budge.' Renya muttered, crossing her arms.

'Just leave her here.' Ulrika purred. 'It's high time she loosen up!'

'Who are you?' Athrun asked.

'I'm her aunt.' Renya replied. 'Her biological aunt, I was Via Hibiki's little sister.'

Athrun's eyes widened. 'Are you serious?'

'Does it look like I'm kidding?' Renya snapped, holding her hands to her hips.

'I'm sorry.' Athrun held his hand up. 'I'm sorry, it's just, lots have happened.'

'You've got to get her out of the hallway.' Renya said as Cagalli groaned, holding the beer bottle to her lips.

'Who's there?' Cagalli asked in a slurred voice, opening one eye.

Kneeling down, Athrun lifted her arm. 'Come on, let's get you inside.'

'Athrun?' Cagalli suddenly wrapped both arms around his neck. Loosing balance, Athrun collapsed onto the floor with Cagalli's weight on him.

At that, Ulrika laughed. 'Are you going to do him here?'

'Ulrika!' Renya cried.

'Probably!' Cagalli giggled, leaning forward.

'Okay, we've got it! Let's leave them alone.' Pushing Ulrika and Alix back, she nodded at Athrun before disappearing around the corner.

'What have you gotten yourself into Cagalli?' Athrun murmured. Giving up, he leaned against the wall and took away Cagalli's beer bottle.

'That's mine!' Cagalli cried, reaching one hand out.

'It's empty.' Athrun said flatly, grabbing her wrist. 'Don't you think you've had enough for one night?' Pausing, Cagalli sat straight and looked at Athrun, cocking her head. At that, he couldn't help but frown. 'What? Is there something on my face?'

'You…' Caglali's voice trailed as she reached out one hand and touched his face. 'You look like someone. You look like Athrun!'

'I am Athrun.' Athrun muttered, rolling his eyes.

'You can't be.' Cagalli shook her head like a little girl who had done wrong. 'Athrun won't come back, do you want to know why? Guy who looks like Athrun?'

Figuring that she was too drunk for him to knock some sense into her, Athrun just played along, wrapping one arm around her waist. 'Why? Tell me Cagalli.'

'Because I hurt him.' Cagalli said with pursed lips, looking down like a little girl who did something wrong. 'I left him, I didn't have faith in him and ran away. Do you know why?'

'Why?' Athrun asked quietly.

'You look a lot like him.' Cagalli said, looking at him. 'You're his illusion!'

'Why did you leave him?' Athrun asked, holding her hands down.

Cagalli sighed loudly and collapsed on him. 'I don't know. I was probably just jealous.' She hiccupped briefly. 'I was jealous of the girls around him. They were all so much prettier than me. Lunamaria and Mia had a great body, Meyrin was so cute, Lacus… well she's just perfect. I don't know, I probably just didn't think Athrun would like me because I wasn't like them, or maybe… maybe I thought…'

Athrun frowned when Cagalli suddenly laughed. 'You've had too much to drink.'

'Oh, I know.' Cagalli nodded vigorously. 'You know what Athrun's illusion?'

'What?' Athrun asked quietly.

'I'm useless!' Cagalli giggled.

'How is that?' Athrun murmured, smoothing down her gown absently.

'I let my country fall apart!' Cagalli said, waving her head from side to side. 'You know? I couldn't convince them to not join the Earth Alliance. I couldn't even say no to that stupid marriage! I must have hurt Athrun, do you think he'd forgive me?'

'He forgave you.' Athrun said.

'Really?' Cagalli reached up and cupped his face, making him look directly at her.

'Really.' Athrun nodded.

'Good.' Cagalli nodded, leaning her head on his shoulder again. 'You know, it hurt so much, hearing Shinn say that my Father killed his family. It hurt so much to think that my Father's decision killed so many people.'

'It's over Cagalli, it's been four years.' Athrun said quietly.

Cagalli shook her head. 'It's never been over, because I continued on the legacy of killing my people.'

'You didn't.' Athrun said firmly.

'I did!' Cagalli suddenly cried, gripping her fringes. 'I killed all of them! My indecisiveness killed them all! Shinn has every right to hate me, Orb has every right to hate me!'

'Stop it Cagalli!' Athrun gripped her wrists. 'They don't hate you! You did the right thing.'

Looking up, tears welled up in her eyes. 'I couldn't even fight with Athrun, I could only sit in my office and wait, wait for things to happen, wait for things to change, pray that a miracle would come and save Orb but then I thought, do I deserve a miracle?'

'You fought a battle, you just weren't there, it doesn't mean you were unnecessary Cagalli.' Athrun whispered, holding her face. 'You did the right thing, resigning, knowing your limits and handing over power to someone who can fully utilize it. It's not something everyone can do, but you can, and you did at the right time and you gave your power to the right person. That's all there is to it.'

'Really?' Cagalli whispered. 'I did the right thing?'

Exhaling loudly, Athrun wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. 'The best in your life, you said so yourself.'

'Thank you.' Cagalli murmured. 'I just wish Athrun felt the same.'

'He does.' Athrun whispered, biting his lip, looking up. 'He does, heforgives you for leaving him.'

'I never wanted to.' Cagalli whispered, staring into space, holding her fist to her chin. 'It was the hardest, he was the hardest to let go.'

'Did you really let go?' Athrun asked in a bare whisper.

'I thought I had.' Cagalli said softly. 'I had.'

'I understand why you would want to.' Athrun said after a deep breath.

'I'm a big fat liar.' Cagalli whispered. At that, Athrun frowned and looked away. At his silence, Cagalli sat straight and looked at him. 'Can I tell you a secret?'

'Why would you want to tell me?' Athrun asked.

'Because I'm too afraid to tell the real him.' Cagalli said, her lips trembling. 'I'm afraid that he won't believe me after what I did to him. I hurt him too much. I wasn't supposed to see him ever again but I did, and I gave him hope again.'

Gulping a lump down his throat, Athrun pushed her head gently down onto his shoulder. 'You can tell me.'

'I lied.' Cagalli whispered. 'I never wanted to leave, I never wanted to leave him. He was the best thing that ever happened to my life after my Father died, no one could replace him. I was disgusted with myself after the wedding with Yuna Roma and I thought Athrun would never forgive me. Then came Meyrin and Mia. I was jealous, so jealous that I couldn't deal with it, I couldn't face it and I thought, maybe, maybe I can convince myself I don't love him because he won't love me anymore, or there was never love between us. There never was.'

Biting her lip, Cagalli closed her eyes. 'I love him so much, do you know that? So much that I can't bear the thought of hurting him again, I just can't. I said to myself, he's better off with someone else, someone that suits him better, someone that'll make him happy. I knew that it wouldn't be me because I just can't, I just don't have to courage to love someone anymore. It's hurts, it really hurts to think about it, think about him with someone else but I told myself that it doesn't matter, it just doesn't as long he's happy and as long as someone can make him happy.'

Opening her eyes again, Cagalli looked at him. 'Do you know what I'm saying?' She paused and squinted her eyes. Holding one hand up, he caressed his cheek, feeling it moist. 'Are you crying for me?'

Blinking, Athrun finally realized that a single tear had slid down his left cheek. 'Cagalli, I – '

'Aw, sympathy tears.' Cagalli smiled. 'He doesn't cry as much as Kira, but he does cry. You think he cried when I left?'

'He did.' Athrun said quietly, holding her hand to his cheek. 'He did.'

'Thank you for saying that.' Cagalli sniffed and leaned her head onto his shoulder again.

'You – you're welcome.' Athrun whispered, holding her close to him.

'He said he never loved me, but he would in another place, another time.' Cagalli whispered. 'You think he will?'

'Will you?' Athrun asked quietly.

'Of course I will.' Cagalli whispered, closing her eyes. 'I will……'

They sat there in silence as Cagalli drifted off to sleep. Feeling the stream of tears dry on his face, Athrun sniffed and stood up with her in his arms. Opening her door, he stepped in and laid her down on the bed gently. Taking off her remaining shoe, he tossed it on the floor and pulled the sheets over her. Sitting on the chair beside the desk, he stared at her in the dark, just stared at her.

No one could replace her, no one, not Meyrin Hawke, not Mia Campbell nor Lacus Clyne. No one. Cagalli was Cagalli, she would always be his Cagalli. No matter how much she hurt him, how little faith she had in him, had in them, she was still the Cagalli that had given him a purpose to push through. The Cagalli that had made him who he was now, made him realize that she was the only person he'll ever want to be with. If you asked him why, he couldn't give you an explanation. He just… he just loved her, simple as that.

As the sun started to come up, Athrun watched Cagalli stir. Standing up, he rolled the chair under the desk gently. Reaching into the pocket of his suit, he set a velvet box down on the desk along with an envelop. Giving her one last look, he turned and opened the door.

He would take chances, and he could only trust that she would one last time.

* * *

'Athrun.'

Looking up, Athrun smiled as Lacus set down a plate of fruit.

'Fresh from the fields.' Kira said with a smile, picking up a strawberry. 'We just went with the kids yesterday.'

'I'm glad I came for dinner today.' Athrun smiled.

'You did Athrun.' Lacus said, pouring a cup of tea for him and Kira. 'You finally got through it.'

'No kidding.' Ahturn muttered, accepting Lacus' tea.

'How are you Athrun?' Kira asked, looking at him closely.

'Got a lot off my chest.' Athrun said, taking a sip.

'Just the Olion Games or also some personal affairs?' Kira asked, raising his eyebrows.

'What do you have in mind?' Athrun asked.

'I think you saw my sister.' Kira smiled.

'You're not thinking, you know because Lacus told you.' Athrun muttered.

At that Lacus sighed. 'And I didn't even get a chance to talk to her.'

'She wouldn't have wanted to anyway.' Athrun said quietly.

'Why?' Lacus frowned. 'I'm her friend.'

'She uh, had issues.' Athrun said. 'Issues that were personal and had nothing to do with who you are.'

'If you say so.' Lacus said.

'Kira, did you feel weak during the war?' Athrun asked quietly.

'Always.' Kira said. 'Why?'

'Nothing.' Athrun shook his head.

'Spit it out.' Kira said, rolling his eyes.

'It's just.' Athrun gave him a small smile. 'Sometimes it's just so hard to imagine how one can change so much during the war, after the war.' He paused briefly, looking down at his cup. 'It's hard, it's just so hard to believe.'

'That's what war does Athrun, you should be the first to know.' Another voice rang from the entrance of the porch.

'I can help you with that.' Lacus smiled as Miriallia stepped into the porch.

'Fresh cookies from Mrs. Yamato.' Miriallia smiled, setting the plate down. Sitting down, she watched as Athrun reached out one hand and took one. 'Lacus told me you didn't like sweets.'

'Huh?' Athrun looked at her weirdly.

'But now you like them because of Cagalli.' Lacus finished, giving Miriallia a smile.

At that, Athrun laughed and looked down at his cookie. 'Yeah.'

'I remember you Kira.' Miriallia grinned, turning to him. 'You were the cry baby.'

'I was not a cry baby.' Kira muttered.

'Oh, yeah, right.' Miriallia sneered. 'Come on, you cried so many times, I'm the one to justify it.'

'But grew strong.' Lacus said, putting one hand over his.

'Too strong.' Athrun said quietly. 'You never shed a tear during the second war, you were everyone's rock, you made things happen, held things together.'

'Someone had to do it.' Kira said. 'I just, I guess I had someone to hang on for support.' Turning to Lacus,l he took her hand into his. 'My situation was less complex, you on the other hand, were torn between ZAFT and Orb.

'That was probably the reason everything happened.' Athrun sighed loudly.

'You beat yourself up about it, it's been three years.' Miriallia said curtly.

'And you,' Kira paused.

'What?' Miriallia looked at the three. 'I didn't change.'

'O, yeah, right.' Kira mimicked.

'What?' Miriallia frowned. 'I haven't changed.'

'You've become very cynical.' Athrun said. 'So cynical that sometimes you throw people off guard.'

'I'm a journalist.' Miriallia argued. 'My job is criticize and pass comments on current events.'

'Does this anything to do with your past… relationship?' Kira asked, raising one eyebrows.

At that, Mirialli snorted and picked up her cup. 'My cynicism was the result of war, I can assure you that it has nothing to do with that idiot.'

'What exactly happened?' Athrun asked.

'What?' Miriallia turned and glared at him.

Athrun shrugged. 'Just curious. You did tell everyone who asked you that you dumped him.'

'I did.' Miriallia said shortly. 'And for good reasons.'

'Boy do I not want to anger you Miriallia.' Kira muttered.

'Excuse me?' Miriallia gave Kira a sweet smile. 'Did you say something about me Kira?'

'Nothing.' Kira sank in his seek, shooting a glance at Athrun who tried hard not to laugh.

'Come on.' Lacus pulled Miriallia up by the arm. 'I could use some help with the dishes.'

'Sure.' Miriallia made a face at Kira before turning on her heel.

'It's mystery between her and Dearka.' Kira muttered, shooting a glance at Miriallia's back. 'She sometimes gives me the creeps now, you got that feeling?'

'Dearka gives me the creeps too.' Athrun muttered, taking another sip. 'They're sometimes too much of an observer.'

'Yeah, you nailed that.' Kira muttered.

'Kira,' Athrun set his cup down on the saucer and leaned forward, 'Have you ever hated me for reenlisting?'

Sighing, Kira set his cup down. 'You really want to know?'

'If you want to punch me…' Athrun's voice trailed as he shrugged.

'I don't want to punch you.' Kira muttered. 'I did at one point want to hit you.'

'Because of Cagalli?' Athrun asked quietly.

'I guess it was just all wrong timing.' Kira said, looking down. 'I didn't stop you from going back to PLANT because I knew that you had your reasons and you too would never predict such an outcome. As for Cagalli… a part of me just wanted to strangle her for caving, for letting go.'

Athrun laughed. 'Me too.'

'She was miserable.' Kira said, crossing his legs. 'But she pushed through, like any other time. It's a pain only she knows and we're not in any position to judge.'

'Thank you.' Athrun said.

Kira raised his eyebrows. 'For what?'

'For stopping the wedding.' Athrun said in a low voice. 'It should've been me, but I was powerless at that time and I made the wrong judgment. I'm partly blamed for what had happened to us.'

'Everyone's to blame if you really need to blame someone.' Kira said quietly. 'That's why it's bad idea to think about it, it'll just mess with your mind and drive you crazy.'

Athrun exhaled loudly. 'Before, everyone said that I was the mature one, I was the sensible one, the one who made good judgment, the one who was strong, but now, you are much stronger and I can't thank you enough for taking care of Cagalli during my absence.'

'I'm her brother, I'll do it even if you never existed in her life.' Kira said, smiling. 'Isn't that was siblings are for?'

'What's your secret?' Athrun asked, leaning back with his arms crossed.

Kira cocked his head. 'What secret?'

'With Lacus.' Athrun said. 'You two are just so steady and mature.'

'Jealous?' Kira sneered.

'If I were would you punch me?' Athrun smirked back.

'There's no spark between you and Lacus.' Kira said, looking over his shoulder at the kitchen where Miriallia and Lacus were laughing away at the sink. 'I don't care what the public says about you two, but people who know you and Lacus know that there's no spark between you two.'

'There never was, that I'm sure.' Athrun said quietly. 'She was more like a sister to me, someone I'd turn to for guidance. You two are perfect for each other, you two are going to make good parents.'

Kira smiled. 'I hope so.' Leaning back, he watched in silence as Athrun took another sip from his tea. 'You love her right?'

Athrun paused before looking up. 'To be honest, I think it's more then that.'

'Then why are you here?' Kira asked with a frown. 'Why aren't you with her, why didn't you bring her back?'

Setting his cup down, Athrun sighed. 'I've had a lot of injuries in the past, during my academy days, during the war. Gunshots, cuts, bruises, a knife slicing into the cockpit of my mobile suits…'

'You have Shinn to thank for that.' Kira muttered.

Athrun exhaled. 'My points is, those wounds are lucky, you can just sew them up, put a band aid on it and all goes well. Sure you might have a scar or two, but when you look at it, you're proud because you survived. But some wounds are different.' He paused and looked down. 'Some wounds are just deeper and they just need time. You rip off the band aid and let it breath, let it heal.'

'Isn't two and half years long enough?' Kira asked quietly.

'There's no time limit Kira.' Athrun said, smiling. 'When it heals, it's going to and when the time comes, we'll both know.'

'You've invited her to the Annual memorial in December right?' Kira asked. 'What if she doesn't come?'

'We still have five months.' Athrun replied. 'We'll see. And if she doesn't come, then it's not the time yet.'

'I guess so.' Kira said, nodding. 'You've waited that long, five months is nothing.'

'I guess.' Athrun laughed shortly.

'Any plans for the future?' Kira asked.

'I need a break.' Athrun sighed. .'A long break.'

'You're starting to sound like Cagalli the last time I saw her.' Kira murmured.

'I do?' Athrun raised his eyebrows meaningfully. 'Maybe I do.'

'I'm sure you have your own agenda.' Kira said.

Athrun just smiled and held his teacup up. 'Doesn't everyone?'

Kira nodded deeply and held his cup up too. 'Of course.'

Inside the kitchen, Lacus couldn't help but smile as the two friends chatted away.

'I haven't seen him this happy in a long time.' She said, turning to Miriallia who was loading the dishwasher.

'If you saw Cagalli, you'd have second thoughts.' Miriallia muttered, closing the dish washer.

'Was she that miserable?' Lacus asked, frowning.

Miriallia sighed and sat down. 'Let's just say that being around all of you, Kira, Athrun and you in particular, she fells… incompetent.'

'That's silly, there are plenty of things she can accomplish but I can't.' Lacus argued, wiping her hands.

'Lacus,' Miriallia paused, 'you know Cagalli left for a reason, and that reason not just being Athrun. You know that better than anyone else.'

'I guess.' Lacus managed a smile before opening a cupboard. 'Coffee?'

'Coffee would be great.'

**End of Chapter 8**


	9. Taking Chances

_**DISCLAIMER: **'Breaking Point' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork._

_**WARNING: **Text and all related materials are rated **PG13/T** and may mild strong language and mild adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. **Spoilers for Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny.**_

_**NOTE: '**Breaking Point' disregards situations presented after Gundam Seed Destiny, including the special edition and upcoming Movie sequel. _

GSEED Singles Series  
**Breaking Point  
**a hermit junction project

**Chapter**** 9: Taking Chances**

_** 'No, I don't. Three years is long enough.' **_

_Five Months Later / 24th December, C.E. 76  
Orb Union International Shuttle Port_

'I'm really sorry about the wait Miss, we had a system crash last night and all the automated immigration systems are down.'

'No problem.' Cagalli said slowly, watching as the immigration officer flipped open her passport. Blinking, he paused for a long while before suddenly looking up. 'Is there a problem sir?'

'Uh, um… no.' The officer stammered, shooting a glance at her. 'Do you mind taking off your shades and cap so I can make an identification.'

Cagalli paused for a brief moment. 'I don't see why not.'

The officer gulped as she took off her shades and cap slowly. Cagalli watched as he looked up and down from her passport a few times before entering the information into his computer with trembling hands. A few minutes later, he placed her passport on the counter slowly. 'Thank Miss Caitir, have a nice trip at Orb.'

'Thank you.' Giving him a small smile, Cagalli put her cap and shades back on and picked up her passport. She couldn't help but notice the officer look back as she passed the booth.

Stepping into the arrival area, Cagalli couldn't help but look up, the sun shining in through the windows above. Taking a deep breath, she made her way pass the caracoles and breezed through customs with only one carry on duffle bag. When the doors slid opened, Cagalli felt her breath trapped in her throat. She almost felt dizzy as she stepped into the sunlight. Orb was always famous for it's sunshine and beaches. You could smell the ocean everywhere.

Picking up the rented car that she had pre booked before she left Birjer Jarl, Cagalli gunned the engine and steered out of the huge parking lot. She rarely drove at Orb, mainly because she always got a ride from someone. She had never really had a chance to take the public transit either since she was a public figure.

Opening all four windows, Cagalli leaned back and tried to relax as the ocean breeze whipped through her hair. She forgot how much she enjoyed driving, especially in the desert during her guerilla days.

There were a lot of things she missed. She missed the country, it only took her three years to realize that. However, what she never really missed was the Christmas here. It never felt like Christmas, despite all the merriment, the Christmas trees and stockings, not to mention the lights that covered the skyscrapers.

The Attha Manor was the prime example of Christmas deficiency The Attha's never celebrated Christmas officially since they were technically Jewish.

'Name please.'

Cagalli paused for a while before taking her shades off. 'Cagalli Yula Attha.'

'Welcome home Miss Cagalli.' The automated system said while the gates slid open.

Staring at the manor before her, Cagalli took a deep breath and steered into the boulevard. She could do this, she could come back.

'It hasn't changed much.' Cagalli whispered to herself as she cruised down the road, surveying the finely manicured lawn. The Attha Manor was still kept in its original state, that she was thankful for.

Parking the car in the shed, Cagalli stepped out and slammed the door shut while sticking her sunglasses on the top of her head. Locking her car, she walked up the stairs and put her hand on the scanner, the door clicking open immediately. They didn't change the codes either. Were they waiting for her?

Stepping inside, the door closed behind her automatically. The sun was already starting to set and rich yellow light glazed through the blinds into the meticulously clean kitchen. Mana always liked things clean and Cagalli could still remember the old lady nagging her about spilling food and water onto expensive evening gowns that she was forced to wear every now and then.

Trailing her finger tips across the spotless marble counter, Cagalli gave herself a small smile. Mana was like her Mother after she died, she knew her best when it came to being a little girl, always knew how to bring out the feminine side of her. She always hated dressing up like a girly girl, but she had to admit that after Mana dressed her up, she felt like the girl who rarely presented herself to the public.

Turning, Cagalli left the kitchen and stepped into the quiet foyer, light seeping in through the glass panels. Her heels clicked on the polished marble as she walked slowly, surveying the antique vases that belonged to her Father and the big ben clock that belonged to her Mother. Never had she thought she'd be an orphan one day, but there she was, back at home for the first time in three years without so much as a bow at their grave every year.

'I'm a terrible daughter aren't I?' Cagalli whispered. Giving the clock one more look, she turned and walked up the stairs.

_'Cagalli! Come on, you look nice in a little dress!' _

_'I don't like dresses Mama! I don't like pink!' _

_'Okay, how about green?' _

Cagalli smiled as memories floated in her mind.

_'Cagalli! Come down! You'll hurt yourself!' _

_'See! It's like I'm flying!' _

_'Uzumi, do something!' _

_'Calm down! Now Cagalli, I want you to…' _

'Slowly get off the rail.' Cagalli whispered. Taking a deep breath, she walked up the stairs and walked down the hallway until she reached the end. Holding onto the doorknob, she paused for a few moments before turning it, pushing the door open.

Not even an ounce of excess dust, it was like she never left. Mana really believed that she'd come back.

Walking across the hardwood floor, Cagalli caressed the cool sheets of the four poster bed. She always found this room too elegant for her, this mansion too grand. A part of her always thought she didn't belong here.

Opening the top drawer of her night stand, she reached inside and pulled out a gun. Kisaka was the one who gave her this pistol, he was the one who taught her how to shoot it.

Narrowing her eyes, Cagalli turned as she heard the click of her door.

Her Father stood there, his face as serious as usual, the kind of expression he had whenever Cagalli got herself into trouble or was planning to do something he didn't approve of, like leaving home.

Turning, she saw herself glaring at his Father.

_'Cagalli, are you planning on leaving with that ship?' _Her Father asked.

_'Yes.' _She answered without a trace of hesitation.

_'Then are you planning on fighting under the name of EA against PLANT?'_ Her Father continued. _'Do you really want to fight in war?' _

_'It's not like that!'_ Cagalli saw herself turning around with fire in her eyes. _'Who wants war? I don't want war!' _

_'Then why?' _Her Father asked her calmly, so calm that she failed to remember the hard slap he gave her just a few days ago.

_'I just want to help them!' _She saw herself cry out loud. She was always loud when she was angry, she had the kind of fire that burned inside her. _'I just want this war to end as soon as possible.' _

Her Father only looked at her._ 'You think by entering the war, you will be able to end it?' _

She remembered Kira's words flashing through her mind at that very same moment, Kira saying that fighting will not end war, it never will. She remembered Bartfield asking her the way to end war, asking her if killing all your enemies was the right solution.

Her Father was right, killing was no the solution, it was never the solution and in return, it generated torrents of hatred.

There was a time when she thought that by fighting, war would end. Her Father was the one who made her realize that it wasn't true, that she had to know the reason behind war. Her Father was never a fighter, but he was a negotiator. She understood his beliefs, she wanted to embrace them, but in the end, she could do nothing, nothing because she was not a person of words, she was just a person of brute strength.

_'Cagalli, why do you always get into trouble?' _Her mother had once asked her after coming back home covered in mud after engaging in a fight with some boys.

_'Because they said bad things about me!' _The seven year old Cagalli had shouted.

_'What bad things?'_ Her mother had asked her ever so gently.

_'They said, they said I looked like a boy and had no brains and would only use my fist!'_ she had cried on the verge of tears.

_'And?' _

_'I hit them.' _

_'Didn't you just prove their point?' _

_'But they were so mean!' _

_'Fighting back is not a solution Cagalli. Using your intelligence to get out of trouble is what's best.' _

_'But I don't know how!' _

_'Then we'll teach you.' _

_'Will I be as smart as Father, Mama?' _

_'You will, someday you will.' _

'You have too much faith in me Mama.' Cagalli whispered. 'Your daughter's just next to being a failure.' Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath as unwanted tears made their way slowly down her cheek.

At the click of the door, Cagalli found herself whirl around and before she knew it, her arm was raised, the pistol pointing directly at Lacus Clyne's head.

Lacus Clyne, the perfect Lacus Clyne, the Lacus Clyne that had the face of a goddess, the voice of an angel and the intelligence of an experienced and successful politician, like her Father, Uzumi Nara Attha.

'You don't really hate me do you Cagalli?' Lacus asked softly.

'Cagalli, the gun's not loaded.' It was Kira, her twin brother whom she did not share a womb with, who turned out to be the ultimate coordinator. Lacus Clyne and Kira Yamato was a perfect match, they did things no one could do, they did things Cagalli herself would never have the ability to do, and Athrun… Athrun was just a whole different story, a similar story.

'Cagalli, you're pointing a gun at Lacus.' Kira said quietly.

At that, Cagalli suddenly snapped back to reality, the gun dropping from her hands. Her mind went blank as Kira walked forward. Kneeling down, he picked up the gun and stood up, giving her a brief look before turning, placing it silently on the counter top.

'Cagalli – '

Kira held his hand up, stopping Lacus. Taking a deep breath, he turned and watched as Cagalli looked down at her feet, biting her lower lip, trying not to cry. Always trying not to cry.

Without another word, Kira stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulder. For a split second, she just stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to react until Kira finally opened his mouth.

'It's just me.'

And the dame burst.

It's been a long time, a really long time. Kira was the only one who she could really cry into.

_'You won't be alone Cagalli, you still have a brother.' _

Kira was family, he would always be her family.

'The house has been empty since you left.' Lacus said as she placed three cups of tea on the coffee table in one of the manor's living room. 'Mana moved out, she couldn't bare the emptiness but she still comes to clean on a daily basis, said that if the princess came back, she wants her to come back to clean and tidy home.'

'I'm no princess.' Cagalli whispered, looking down at her reflection in the tea cup. 'I've never been.'

'Don't say that Cagalli.' Lacus said softly, sitting down. 'You did your best.'

'I'm sorry Lacus.' Cagalli said quietly, closing her eyes. 'I guess I was just jealous.'

'Jealous of what?' Kira asked.

'Just… in general.' Cagalli replied.

'There are things that you have I don't.' Lacus whispered. 'There are things that only Cagalli Yula Attha can do.'

'It's not true.' Cagalli said, sighing loudly. 'There are plenty of people out there like me, ordinary people. I… I guess I was just lucky that I ended up in Uzumi Nara Attha and Svetlai Yula Caitir hands. It was a blessing for me, they were my family, they were my rock, my Mother was my rock. They gave me the best childhood that I could possibly have.' She paused before shaking her head. 'But it wasn't a blessing for this country.'

There was a moment of silence before Kira set his cup down. 'Why are doing this? Its three years and you still can't let it go? You still can't put the past behind you? You can't blaming yourself forever you know.'

'Kira…' Lacus shook her head at him but he wouldn't heed.

'It's not like you Cagalli.' Kira said. 'It's like you to give up a fight, it's like you to just talk and not take action. It's just not like you.'

'I know.' Cagalli nodded. 'People change.'

'Don't say that.' Kira said bluntly, looking away. 'Sometimes, I just don't know whether to hug you or give a slap in the face.'

Cagalli let out a short laugh. 'Maybe you should try doing both some time.'

Sighing, Kira reached out one hand and took hers, squeezing it gently. 'What has been done, is done. You can't turn back time. It was painful, you said so yourself three years ago, but it was a thing that you needed to do, and you did it. Three years is enough for people to understand, and it's enough for Orb to forgive you for leaving.'

'I never thought I had the courage to come back.' Cagalli said softly. 'I guess, I guess I do and you're right, it is time to move on.'

'Sometimes moving on doesn't mean you have to abandon your past entirely.' Lacus said.

Cagalli took a deep breath and sighed. Adverting her eyes, she caught the miniature Christmas tree sitting on the table. 'It's Christmas.'

'It is.' Kira smiled. 'It's Christmas.'

'You think, you think Orb's forgiven me yet?' Cagalli asked, turning to Kira.

Kira smiled and shot a glance at Lacus who reached from behind the couch, taking out a long black garment bag.

'Find out for yourself.' Kira said.

Watching as Lacus unzipped the bag, Cagalli finally smiled. 'Yeah, I should.'

'Shall I call Mana?' Lacus asked with a smile.

At that, Cagalli burst out laughing as Kira wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

It was time for closure, proper closure.

* * *

'Too bad Athrun's not here.' Lunamaria said as she put the finishing touches to a fruit tart.

'Are you trying say something?' Meyrin asked, rolling her eyes.

Lunmaria sighed and put one arm around her sister. 'All I can say is, you're going to have a hard time finding someone like Athrun Zala.'

'And I have to say that Shinn Asuka is nowhere like Athrun Zala.' Meyrin said, raising her eyebrows as she lifted up the tray of fruit tarts.

'Hey gals, we're starving.' Youlan said, leaning against the entrance of the kitchen with a beer in hand.

'You just has dinner.' Lunamaria scowled, rolling her eyes. 'Turkey, remember, stuffing, remember?'

'I'm never full.' Youlan smirked, taking a fruit tart from the tray.

'Hey!' Meyrin protested as she watched Youlan stick it into his mouth.

'Might want to try strawberries next time.' Youlan winked and turned.

'Is he hitting on you?' Lunamaria asked, shooting a glance at Meyrin who was steaming.

'If he is, he's going to have a tough time anchoring.' Meyrin muttered.

Rolling her eyes, Lunamaria followed Meyrin into the living room where Shinn and Vino Dupre were watching a music video.

'I don't get guys sometimes, what's so great about metal?' Lunamaria muttered.

'It's hardcore, that's what's cool about it.' Vino sneered, swinging the beer in his hand.

'It's Christmas Day, the least you can do is watch something Christmassy.' Meyrin said, snatching the remote from Shinn who was bobbing his head against the beat.

'Hey guys, did you know Athrun Zala just filed in his resignation?' Youlan asked, cell phone in hand.

Shinn widened his eyes. 'What? On Christmas Day?'

'Yeah, that's what I got from my office.' Youlan said. 'They're busy getting the articles in for tomorrow's special, I have to go in an hour, my boss is thinking of putting together a special section for him in the next issue.'

'Aren't you just an intern?' Vino asked.

'You're point is?' Youlan shot back.

'Hey guys, shut up!' Meyrin flipped a few channels back and sat down. 'Is this…'

'Is that Attha?' Lunamaria asked, widening her eyes.

'She's back at Orb?' Youlan blinked just as his cell phone rang again.

'Oh don't tell me she's going back to the government.' Vino muttered, rolling his eyes. 'I mean seriously, can she be more wishy washy?'

'She's not going back.' Shinn said quietly, uncrossing his legs. 'She won't.'

'Since when did you know her.' Vino sneered.

Ignoring him, Shinn leaned forward and watched as Cagalli stepped up the podium in a white gown. She stood there for a moment, the cameras flashing in her eyes as she closed her eyes briefly.

Sitting herself beside Shinn, Lunamaria took his hand in his and raised her eyebrows. Taking a deep breath, he nodded and leaned back, pulling her towards him, wrapping one arm around her shoulder as the Cagalli on the screen finally opened her mouth.

'Hi everyone.' Cagalli raised her hand up awkwardly, obviously nervous. Taking a deep breath, she threw her hands up in the air. 'You know what, I asked myself a million times whether or not to step up here and talk, talk to the people Orb, on Christmas day. The last thing people need is probably a weak former leader to ruin one of the most important seasons of the year. I thought of a million things to say, a million ways to apologize for my sudden leave, but, now that I'm up here, there's nothing.

'It's not because I'm not sorry, I am, for leaving everyone in the dark, for giving myself the possibility of hating this country. But after three years, after three years under Prime Minister Owyne's leadership, I know that I've done the right thing and no matter how much you want to hate me, no matter how much you hate the Attha's for all the decisions we made in the past, all the people who died because of those decisions…. I once knew a boy who hated my guts because of my Father, because his family died right in front of him. I don't blame him for all his harsh treatments and strong words towards my family, towards my Father. I don't, I just… I just feel sorry and I know that losing loved ones during the war is the most excruciating pain one can feel, and I, Cagalli Yula Attha, sincerely apologize to everyone who things that the Attha's were responsible for your loss.'

'You still hate her?' Youlan asked, raising his eyebrows at Shinn.

Sighing, Shinn stood up. 'No, I don't. Three years is long enough.'

At Birjer Jarl, Ulrika jumped up and squealed. 'It's Yula! It's Yula!'

'Dude… she's really…' Jeryn widened her eyes at the TV.

'What's up children?' Renya came out of the kitchen with a celery stick in hand, snatching the doughnut away from Ulrika. 'You're on diet, remember? Cagalli told me to keep an eye on you while she's away.'

'Cagalli?' Orsic raised his eyebrows. 'You knew who she was?'

Renya shrugged. 'Maybe.'

'How could you not tell us?' Alix muttered, popping a beer.

Renya shrugged again. 'She wanted a new life, whatever.'

'I can't believe you.' Ulrika muttered. 'Three whole years and she couldn't have told us about her past.'

'You guys were dumb enough to not recognize her.' Renya sneered.

'Hey!' Alix pointed one finger at her. 'Everyone has their secrets.'

Rolling her eyes, Renya crossed her arms and looked at Cagalli on the screen as she gave a deep bow. She couldn't help but smile as a man with brown spiky hair walked up the podium and held out his arm, a man she knew by the name Kira Yamato. She wanted to meet him, her nephew.

'She promised that she'd come to Sigtuna this year.' Ulrika muttered, crossing her arms.

'Well, looks like she's going to stay at Orb for some time.' Jeryn said.

'I wouldn't be so sure.' Renya said, pushing herself from the wall.

Alix snorted. 'Yeah, you think she's going to take t e mid night flight back here.'

'I doubt that she's going to actually come back at all.' Orsic muttered.

'I know she will.' Renya said after a brief pause. 'She's got a new life here, a new life that had her sacrifice practically everything in the past and the Cagalli I know will not give it up.'

'You think we should start calling her Cagalli from now on?' ORisc asked.

'Really? It feels kind of strange.' Jeryn said, plopping down on the couch.

'Yeah, I mean, we know her as Yula.' Alix said.

'Well, technically speaking, Yula is her middle name.' Ulrika said thoughtfully.

'Hey,' Turning around in his seat, Orsic gave Renya a big smile. 'I know Yula's not going to come, but we can still use your cabin right?'

Renya rolled her eyes. 'The deal was if she came, I'd let you guys use the cabin.'

'No fair!' Ulrika cried, jumping up. 'Come on! You never let us use it!'

'Whoever said it was mine?' Renya asked, raising her eyebrows.

'Then who's is it?' Alix asked back.

'It was my sister's.' Renya said, uncrossing her arms.

'I thought your sister's dead.' Orisc said flatly.

Renya shrugged. 'So?'

Rolling her eyes, Jeryn crossed her arms. 'You just don't want to lend it to us.'

'Whatever you say kido.' Renya said, shrugging on her coat. 'If Cagalli comes back, I'll give it a thought.'

'You think we really should call her Cagalli?' Ulrika asked, turning to Alix

Alix shrugged. 'It's just a name, whatever.'

'Don't whatever, it's a name!' Jeryn snapped.

Shaking her head, Renya turned and left, knowing that Cagalli would come back. She always knew.

* * *

She remembered looking at him from afar during her Archangel days. He'd always look down from the lounge that overlooked the hanger, thinking. Always thinking. She liked to watch him think.

Taking a deep breath, Cagalli tried to hold back her hair as she walked up to Athrun who was standing on the beach, looking up at the starry night with his hands in both his pockets. When she stopped, he turned and looked at her. Just looked at her.

Gulping down a lump in her throat, Cagalli looked away abruptly, feeling her heart pound in her ears. It was a long time since Athrun Zala had made her blush like a teenage girl.

'My Mom…' Cagalli's voice trailed at Athrun's silence. 'My Mom always wanted a seaside wedding. She married at a rec center with my Father on a snowy night at Birjer Jarl, the one thing she regretted about the marriage.'

Athrun just stared at her silently. At that, Cagalli frowned and stepped forward, holding up the velvet box. 'You really do know how to give a girl a ring.'

Athrun raised his eyebrows as she grabbed his hand and crammed it into his palm. Stepping back, she pursed her lips in stubborn silence. Exhaling loudly, he turned away, slipping the box into his pocket. At that, Cagalli looked at him in bewilderment. 'Say something.'

'What do you want me to say?' Athrun asked, shooting her a glance.

Throwing her hands up in the air, Cagalli exhaled loudly. 'Anything! You're creeping me out!

'Since when did I have the ability to creep you out Miss Caitir.' Athrun asked politely.

Shiver ran up her spine at the name. Gritting her teeth, Cagalli took a deep breath. 'Fine, I don't know why I bothered in the first place.' Smoothing her hair back, Cagalli shot him a glare. 'Good day Mr. Zala.'

As she turned, the hem of her satin dress brushed past his arm. Snatching his hand out of his pocket, he reached out and grabbed Cagalli by the wrist and pulled her towards him in one smooth motion, capturing her lips with his. It wasn't a passionate kiss, just a soft, tender and most of all promising, it was a promising kiss.

When they parted, Cagalli couldn't only catch a glimpse of his face before he enveloped her into a tight embrace. She blinked, her mind suddenly blank. Closing her eyes, she returned the embrace, 'I'm here.'

'You're here.' Athrun whispered. Biting his lower lip, he tightened his embrace. 'IApart of me knew you'd come, but I still couldn't help but feel scared.'

'I'm sorry.' Cagalli whispered, burying her face into his shoulder. 'I'm so sorry Athrun.'

Pulling back, Athrun lifted up her left hand and slipped the ring over her fourth finger. 'I know I don't know how to give a girl a ring, but I never take back what I give out.'

Looking down, Cagalli watched as Athrun's slim fingers brushed across hers. 'Now what do we do?'

'We let things take their course.' Athrun said softly, brushing some hair out of her eyes. 'I resigned, I'm all yours now.'

Pursing her lips, Cagalli looked up at him. 'All mine?'

Athrun just smiled. 'Whatever you want. If you want to leave, I will leave with you.'

Taking a deep breath, Cagalli rested both hands on his shoulder and played with the ends of his hair absently. 'Did I ever tell you that I don't like Christmas here?'

'Not really, why?' Athrun asked.

'There's no snow.' Cagalli said, looking into his eyes. 'You want to go to place where it's really feels like Christmas?'

He was only twenty one, but after so much that has happened in the last five years, he couldn't help but feel old. The war made him strong, that was inevitable and he was grateful for it, but at the same time, it made him realize that he was weak when it came to emotions. He never really knew how to express them, nor had he ever chose the right time to make a grab. He just took everything for granted, and in the end, he paid the price for it. Three years was long enough.

'You own this cabin?' Athrun asked, watching as Cagalli made foot prints in the snow before him.

'Not really, my Mom owned it and she passed it on to me, so yeah, technically, it is mine.' Cagalli said, shrugging while holding the sides of her hat.

'It looks nice…' Athrun walked past her and looked at the big house, 'have you ever spent Christmas here?'

Cagalli rolled her eyes. 'My friends, well actually my roomies, they know that my aunt has a cabin out here in Sigtuna but what they don't know is that it's actually mine. I spent three Christmases alone in the house back at Birjer Jarl.'

Athrun turned around. 'Somehow, I knew you would.'

Cagalli shrugged. 'My roomies did want me to come here but I just never gave a damn about it. They're going to be so mad if they knew I'm here.'

'It feels like Christmas.' Athrun said, looking up, watching as the snow flurried down.

Cagalli smiled. 'Yeah, it feels like Christmas when you get to share it with someone.'

'So tell me Cagalli,' Athrun stuck his hands into the pocket of his jacket, 'did you really mean what you said when you were drunk?'

Cagalli blinked, then looked away, her lips pursed. 'I don't know, depends on what I said.'

Exhaling loudly, Athrun held his hand out. 'Well, I guess we have a lifetime to find out.'

Looking up, Cagalli lips curved into a smile as she dashed up and grabbed his hand. Leaning up, she gave him a brief but solid kiss on the lips. 'I guess we do.'

'We're not going to live here permanently right?' Athrun asked as he wrapped one arm around her shoulder.

'Uh, no, I have a job, well, I'll have job when I graduate next year.' Cagalli said as they made their way towards the double doors. 'If I want to get a job as a sports physician, I have to go back to the city.'

'Medicine huh?' Athrun nodded. 'What should I do?'

'You can always go back to school.' Cagalli said, cocking her head.

'School huh?' Athrun raised his eyebrows. 'Does sound better than ZAFT Academy training.'

Cagalli paused, the key in the hole. 'That's true.'

Placing his hand on hers, he turned the knob, smiling down at her. 'Merry Christmas Cagalli.'

Returning the smile, Cagalli pushed open the door and pulled him in. 'Merry Christmas Athrun.'

Three years, it only took them three years to close the door to their past, and open a new one for their future. They had a lifetime, and they both knew that a lifetime was all one can hope to have, and they had it and they were never go to let each other go.

They had all the future Christmases to look forward to.

**End of Breaking Point**


End file.
